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re: Brother going through a divorce...

Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:30 am to
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
69184 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:30 am to
Women want control, but them hating having control and thus having no respect or feelings of attraction towards the men they do control is largely responsible for the downfall of most adult relationships.

Women suffer because they want what makes them miserable and seek to change what they do like into things they don’t. The reason is because women lie to themselves about what they really desire and are ashamed of it because society shames them for desiring those things. Society tells them they must want x, but they really want y. Sp, they try to turn y into x to get the envy of society (other women), but they don’t actually like x, so they find a new y and start the cycle all over again.
This post was edited on 7/13/19 at 10:34 am
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
85104 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:34 am to
That all sounds good ( I’m 30 years in relationship/25 married) but it has one fatal flaw. You are assuming the other person has the capacity to be rational and the desire to be constructive. But we know that many people just want to see the world burn. Those people get married too.

Sometimes that only becomes evident later in life as well as people really do change ( or develop psychiatric issues ) over time. Who you married at 28 might be a different animal at 58. She may be clinically depressed or he might be abusive. You just never know.
Posted by PT24-7
Member since Jul 2013
4564 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:36 am to
Yeah, we’re going on a cruise in 10 days bc last week I decided she was needing one. Summers off sound great but 3 kids at the house and it’s stressful. I honestly couldn’t do it.

So I booked a cheap cruise (we love cruises bc we’re trashy like that) bc that’s the vacay where we literally don’t have any plans. I’m a planner and it drives her nuts on vacation. So we might not do anything besides sleep, eat, talk, and screw for 4 days.

The biggest thing that I always say when we argue (and we argue) is “well this is where we’re at so what do we change to fix it?”.

It’s a burn your ship attitude if you get married. There’s no going back. Our lives are one so let’s make the most of it.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
52884 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:37 am to
quote:

Women want control, but them hating having control and thus having no respect or feelings of attraction towards the men they do control is largely responsible for the downfall of most adult relationships. 

I agree in some aspects. I think some men become pushovers in their relationships to shut her up (or for sex) which in turn becomes unattractive to the woman. Make sure that you don't become that guy.
Posted by PT24-7
Member since Jul 2013
4564 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:41 am to
quote:

Has social media been blamed yet?

I find that social media exists purely to breed material jealousy among young, family women. Every mouse click reveals the proverbial greener grass. I'd add that the stigma of divorce being essentially non existent today, drives little will to make troubled marriages work.



Spot on, can’t tell you how many times my wife has told me “so and so seem to be so happy” only to find out they’re divorced a year later.

Also, I’ve seen a lot of couples I know who are on the rocks posting stuff all over Facebook about how much their spouse completes them. Some while working through an affair.
Posted by GeauxtigersMs36
The coast
Member since Jan 2018
12332 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:42 am to
Been there twice. Good luck to him. I do believe there are some women who want what marriage is about. Love, family, togetherness.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
138110 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:43 am to
Threads like this make me happy with never getting married
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
85104 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:44 am to
quote:

Our lives are one


This is an illusion. Your lives are Two. You have just decided to share the same path. Two lives on one path. You live, experience the world and die separately . Your Consciousness and your souls are separate and you were never meant to “ be one”.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
69184 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:44 am to
The issue is that while most men believe they have burned their boats when they get married, women largely still have their boats, especially if they are college educated and have a career. Emotionally and financially, they can end it all at any time with next to zero consequences. Your boats are burnt, her’s are not. She has to believe you’re even more willing and able to sail away to new harbors than she is while giving her good reason to want to keep you docked where you are.
This post was edited on 7/13/19 at 10:46 am
Posted by PT24-7
Member since Jul 2013
4564 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:44 am to
Meh, that’s possible.

However, a lot of times there are huge warning signs pre marriage people chose to ignore
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
85104 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:45 am to
Absolutely. Or they are too young and inexperienced to understand what they are seeing.
Posted by PT24-7
Member since Jul 2013
4564 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:46 am to
I disagree 100%

I came inside her and made 3 lives. Our lives are one
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
44639 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:46 am to
I see why your brother is getting a divorce.
Posted by EmperorGout
I hate all of you.
Member since Feb 2008
11528 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:46 am to
quote:

Threads like this make me happy with never getting married


Ehhhhh, this board, like most places on the internet, is overrepresented with bitter, ineffectual arse dudes one asshair away from going on an incel jihad and you really shouldn't take it to heart
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
69184 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:47 am to
I ignored all the red flags because when you’re wearing rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
Posted by PT24-7
Member since Jul 2013
4564 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:47 am to
I agree but as crazy as it sounds sometimes people just want to be married
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
132985 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:50 am to
quote:

I was once told by an old man that a woman will never leave a man until she has another on deck.



A woman doesn’t jump ship unless she has another dinghy waiting in the waves, barring all but the most extreme circumstances
This post was edited on 7/13/19 at 10:51 am
Posted by SeeeeK
some where
Member since Sep 2012
30470 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:51 am to
quote:

she had plans for school and art shite


so she wanted to do nothing
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
69184 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:52 am to
Women want to be wed, not married. They want all the attention, envy, and status of a big ring, a pretty dress, a beautiful wedding, and a desirable husband. Marriages are tedious work filled with humbling compromises and endless tiny decisions. Just like with careers, women tend to be in it for the prestige, not for the process. They want the job for the title, but they hate actually doing it. Marriage is often similar. They want the envy of their friends that comes from their wedding day and being married to a desirable man. The day to day grind of marriage isn’t nearly as fun.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
52884 posts
Posted on 7/13/19 at 10:52 am to
quote:

Threads like this make me happy with never getting married

Not everyone has an unhappy marriage. I've been together with my wife for 15 years. It's work and we've had some pretty rough patches at times but my marriage is nothing like OPs brother.
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