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re: Beef with girlfriend. Curious to hear from both genders about who's right/wrong.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:20 am to Ernest T Bass
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:20 am to Ernest T Bass
I was on your side at first with a simple call to the sister saying sorry you can't make it. She'd understand.
After reading the update, I'm kind of with your girl now. Not the pissed part, but just where you should go.
Also, people, just hire some freaking movers to do everything. Yes they are expensive but it's better than your buddy blowing out his back trying to help you move a dresser. Also, he just got paid cash for a house, he has the money to hire a mover.
After reading the update, I'm kind of with your girl now. Not the pissed part, but just where you should go.
Also, people, just hire some freaking movers to do everything. Yes they are expensive but it's better than your buddy blowing out his back trying to help you move a dresser. Also, he just got paid cash for a house, he has the money to hire a mover.
2
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:21 am to iwyLSUiwy
quote:
he just got paid cash for a house, he has the money to hire a mover.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:39 am to 777Tiger
quote:
and what's even more stupid is his cheap arse podnuh is asking his friend(s) to help him move instead of hiring some day labor to do the lifting
his friend has helped him move before. so now he's supposed to say, "look i know you have helped me in the past, but you can obviously afford your own movers now, so i'm not repaying the favor"?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:42 am to Ernest T Bass
your friend needs to hire a mover with his broke arse. stick with your gf. get a bj for your efforts.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:42 am to Sam Quint
unless they’re both within about a year or two removed from college, yes
Posted on 8/1/23 at 9:44 am to iwyLSUiwy
quote:
Also, he just got paid cash for a house, he has the money to hire a mover.
you have no idea what this guy's finances look like, so this meaningless. plus, it's also irrelevant, since OP is paying his friend back for helping him move in the past.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:25 am to Ernest T Bass
I'm not reading 15 pages of bad advice. Has anyone yet said to go to the party, bang the sister, then walk away and help your friend move?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:32 am to Ernest T Bass
Who’s easier to replace? The girlfriend or a good life long friend who has helped you in the past?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:37 am to Ernest T Bass
quote:
I was supposed to attend her sisters birthday party in a few weeks.
You agreed to do this before:
quote:
I told her that I can't make the party because I'm going to help him move.
She is right to be pissed.
I get what you are saying about a birthday party not being a huge deal but neither is your buddy moving. He is the one that agreed to shitty terms and now she is suffering consequences for it.
It really comes down to if this girl is wife material. If you think you will end up marrying her, she comes first and the commitments you made to her regardless of how insignificant they seem to you. If its a girl you just started dating and don't see a long term future with then do what you want but you are still the a-hole in the situation if you bail on her to help your boy move.
This post was edited on 8/1/23 at 10:50 am
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:39 am to Ernest T Bass
Which page are the GF pics on? I'm pressed for time this morning.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:46 am to Ernest T Bass
Moving sucks dude, and you have a good excuse. You are really screwing this up.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:46 am to Ernest T Bass
Tell him to hire movers like an adult. And then still skip the party. It’s the only alpha move
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:49 am to Ernest T Bass
quote:
To me it's just a friggin birthday party.
It's not ever her party, it's her sisters.
Yall sound young. Eventually you will learn that what is important to women is not always important to men (and vice versa) and that yall need to put yourselves in each others shoes and try to see the others point. Both of you can have a fair point at the same time.
Like others have said, you need to try to make both work. That means that maybe you start to help your friend move things that can fit in your cars a few days early to cut down on some trips and if yall aren't done by party time then he has to finish by himslef. If your friend can't be flexible enough to work with you on this to get your free labor then he is also being hard headed.
This post was edited on 8/1/23 at 10:51 am
Posted on 8/1/23 at 10:56 am to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:
now she is suffering consequences for it
lol @ "suffering consequences"
you guys are acting like he made some kind of blood vow to his girlfriend to attend a birthday party (not even HER birthday party). most likely she mentioned awhile back "hey Madysyn is having a party on such and such weekend, can you go?" and he said "sure". in the meantime, something came up that he has much deeper convictions about doing to help a friend who has helped him in the past, and he told his girlfriend with multiple weeks' notice.
is it the majority of the board's contention that there is no correct way to de-commit to plans to a wife or girlfriend once you have said you could do something if something that you deem more important comes up? that's an honest question. what if it's work related? what if it's a funeral? at what point is it ok for a man to make a fricking decision that something more important has come up and he has to decommit to plans?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:11 am to Ernest T Bass
I mean, traditionally, occupancy is immediate. Your friend getting 7 days to move is somewhat generous by the purchaser, IMO.
He needs to get his arse in gear and start moving. Any reasonably motivated dude can get shite done without depending on one friend. Hell, he could rent a U-Haul and stop by Home Depot and hire some... immigrants. Would have the whole house moved in an afternoon.
It's about not being a flake. You promised your girlfriend, you'd do it. You should do it.
You can still help your friend move. He's just going to have to realize that you made a prior commitment. If your schedules don't line up, then that sucks, but expecting people to drop all their plans at the last minute is kind of a douchey thing for a friend to do.
He needs to get his arse in gear and start moving. Any reasonably motivated dude can get shite done without depending on one friend. Hell, he could rent a U-Haul and stop by Home Depot and hire some... immigrants. Would have the whole house moved in an afternoon.
quote:
is it the majority of the board's contention that there is no correct way to de-commit to plans to a wife or girlfriend once you have said you could do something if something that you deem more important comes up? that's an honest question. what if it's work related? what if it's a funeral? at what point is it ok for a man to make a fricking decision that something more important has come up and he has to decommit to plans?
It's about not being a flake. You promised your girlfriend, you'd do it. You should do it.
You can still help your friend move. He's just going to have to realize that you made a prior commitment. If your schedules don't line up, then that sucks, but expecting people to drop all their plans at the last minute is kind of a douchey thing for a friend to do.
This post was edited on 8/1/23 at 11:19 am
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:15 am to Sam Quint
quote:
is it the majority of the board's contention that there is no correct way to de-commit to plans to a wife or girlfriend once you have said you could do something if something that you deem more important comes up?
yes, most of this board lets their wives dictate their lives and are happy to comply and then brag about it in threads like these
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:20 am to Ricardo
quote:
You promised your girlfriend, you'd do it. You should do it.
no matter what? in all circumstances?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:25 am to Sam Quint
quote:
no matter what? in all circumstances?
This is something each individual has to decide. What's worth breaking a promise over?
This should serve as a lesson. Don't say you're going to do something unless you're willing to see it through. No matter how small. In fact, the little things matter more sometimes.
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:26 am to Ricardo
quote:
You can still help your friend move. He's just going to have to realize that you made a prior commitment. If your schedules don't line up, then that sucks, but expecting people to drop all their plans at the last minute is kind of a douchey thing for a friend to do.
I dont think his friend is expecting him to do shite; rather, he wants to be a good friend and help him out when he needs help since he had done the same for him in the past. Bowing down to girlfriends at a young age, doing whatever they say in fear that they will get upset or breakup with you, is a great way to mold yourself into a yes man bitch for the forseeable future. I promise a reasonable person would understand this and not make a big deal about someone wanting to be their own person and help those who have been there for them in the past. How often does a girlfriend turn into a wife in your early 20s?
Posted on 8/1/23 at 11:26 am to Sam Quint
quote:
is it the majority of the board's contention that there is no correct way to de-commit to plans to a wife or girlfriend once you have said you could do something if something that you deem more important comes up?
Sure there is but your buddy moving isn’t any more important than her sisters birthday though.
Like most here agree, the best plan is to figure out how to do both. You don’t have to frick over you gf to help your friend.
This post was edited on 8/1/23 at 11:27 am
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