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Started By
Message
re: Anyone want to end it...
Posted on 1/12/18 at 2:41 am to bnglcat
Posted on 1/12/18 at 2:41 am to bnglcat
Don't do anything to harm yourself. It's hard to come to grips with things sometimes.
The day after Christmas, just less than a month ago, I had some suicidal thoughts flash through my mind. I wasn't ever going to kill myself, but I felt as though I understood why people did kill themselves. It scared me. I thought about how lucky I was to be alive. I looked at the stars. I thought about the pain I was in, and how lucky I was to feel that pain, or anything at all.
We only have one circle on this merry-go-round. There are kids that die around the world before they ever get the chance to experience heartbreak, disappointment, love, redemption, success, failure, confusion, clarity, wonder, peace of mind, sadness, "getting your swag back", etc.
This gamut of triumphs and tribulations is what makes our journey so incredible. We are human beings with self-awareness. To throw that gift away is such a waste. Don't waste it, my man.
The day after Christmas, just less than a month ago, I had some suicidal thoughts flash through my mind. I wasn't ever going to kill myself, but I felt as though I understood why people did kill themselves. It scared me. I thought about how lucky I was to be alive. I looked at the stars. I thought about the pain I was in, and how lucky I was to feel that pain, or anything at all.
We only have one circle on this merry-go-round. There are kids that die around the world before they ever get the chance to experience heartbreak, disappointment, love, redemption, success, failure, confusion, clarity, wonder, peace of mind, sadness, "getting your swag back", etc.
This gamut of triumphs and tribulations is what makes our journey so incredible. We are human beings with self-awareness. To throw that gift away is such a waste. Don't waste it, my man.
This post was edited on 1/12/18 at 2:48 am
1
Posted on 1/12/18 at 3:09 am to WaltTeevens
quote:
Don't do anything to harm yourself.
exactly, it passes on its own soon enough
never try and assist
Posted on 1/12/18 at 3:51 am to bnglcat
You only get one life man. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things will get better, seek counseling
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:17 am to bnglcat
keep pushing, man. you aren't alone. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
one thing that never gets talked about is how exhausting it is living with depression. You always have to put on an outside appearance because if people think you look depressed you get more depressed that people are worrying about you. just keep pushing, go hunting or fishing and spend some alone time where you ain't gotta put a face on. it works for me.
pretty much sums up how i look vs how i feel:
LINK
I spent about 4 years of my life not knowing if I was going to make it another night. I withdrew from family and most friends because I didn't want to be a burden on them. When I finally let go of that and sucked down my pride to ask for help it was incredible how many people were there for me. My brother even paid my bills for a couple of months while I was getting help, he pretty much showed up at my house and told me he was gonna beat the frick out of me if i didn't let him. He's one of the only members of my immediate family who knows to what extent it got but damn, just knowing to what length people would go to helped pull me out of it.
one thing that never gets talked about is how exhausting it is living with depression. You always have to put on an outside appearance because if people think you look depressed you get more depressed that people are worrying about you. just keep pushing, go hunting or fishing and spend some alone time where you ain't gotta put a face on. it works for me.
pretty much sums up how i look vs how i feel:
LINK
I spent about 4 years of my life not knowing if I was going to make it another night. I withdrew from family and most friends because I didn't want to be a burden on them. When I finally let go of that and sucked down my pride to ask for help it was incredible how many people were there for me. My brother even paid my bills for a couple of months while I was getting help, he pretty much showed up at my house and told me he was gonna beat the frick out of me if i didn't let him. He's one of the only members of my immediate family who knows to what extent it got but damn, just knowing to what length people would go to helped pull me out of it.
This post was edited on 1/12/18 at 7:08 am
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:32 am to bnglcat
Yes.
Few times when I've been real sick for a while. You kinda wonder what's the point of breathing if you're miserable all the time.
But you heal up. Live as much as you can and prepare the next inevitable downcycle. We all have em.
The good lord gave you one life. He wants you to live it, not waste it.
Times can be hard and your mind can make it worse. Look for some perspective to bring you back. Its out there for sure. Believe me man. Sun will shine tomorrow as they say.
especially with kids. They are everything and need a father. Especially in this world. Without direction and safety their life would be very different than it is now. You're that security. Keep em safe.
Breathe brother.
Few times when I've been real sick for a while. You kinda wonder what's the point of breathing if you're miserable all the time.
But you heal up. Live as much as you can and prepare the next inevitable downcycle. We all have em.
The good lord gave you one life. He wants you to live it, not waste it.
Times can be hard and your mind can make it worse. Look for some perspective to bring you back. Its out there for sure. Believe me man. Sun will shine tomorrow as they say.
especially with kids. They are everything and need a father. Especially in this world. Without direction and safety their life would be very different than it is now. You're that security. Keep em safe.
Breathe brother.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:32 am to bnglcat
Been there brother.... a couple of times. I look back and am very very grateful I didn't. Hang in there man. What you cant see or even maybe believe, is that it will get better!
My Dad used to say, "the sun will always come up tomorrow...a new chance for a new day".
Prayer sent.
My Dad used to say, "the sun will always come up tomorrow...a new chance for a new day".
Prayer sent.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:55 am to bnglcat
no never really wanted to take my own life.
But having dealt with stage 4 colon cancer over the last two years that took my bladder, colon, prostate and other organs out of my body forever I certainly wanted to die instead of being left what I considered a freak.
But you keep going man. Even if you don't want to. I don't know if you need something or someone else to make you wanna keep living. I didn't want to keep living most of the time. Somehow I did and have though.
Don't know what your day was like or what you are going through but is it as bad as shitting and pissing into plastic bags the rest of your life?
But having dealt with stage 4 colon cancer over the last two years that took my bladder, colon, prostate and other organs out of my body forever I certainly wanted to die instead of being left what I considered a freak.
But you keep going man. Even if you don't want to. I don't know if you need something or someone else to make you wanna keep living. I didn't want to keep living most of the time. Somehow I did and have though.
Don't know what your day was like or what you are going through but is it as bad as shitting and pissing into plastic bags the rest of your life?
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:56 am to bnglcat
Don't ever really think about ending it. If anything, I quite frequently think of just throwing a few things I need in the car and just leaving everything behind.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 6:58 am to bnglcat
Hang in there man. Just remember that pain is temporary, ending it all is permanent. Things will get better, just have faith. YouTube some les brown videos for some inspiration. Find peace in prayer.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:04 am to bnglcat
Will read again
Very inspirational
Very inspirational
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:04 am to bnglcat
You sound like a millennial
Toughen up!
Toughen up!
This post was edited on 1/12/18 at 7:10 am
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:07 am to bnglcat
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:09 am to BLIZZAKE7
you seem like such a good person, so perfect
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:16 am to bnglcat
I was down like that over a girl in undergrad but luckily I have two little brothers who idolize me.
At that point I started coaching them in high school sports. And it made us even closer.
I now own two businesses with one of my brothers. This would have never happened had we not gotten so close through me coaching him.
Because of all the good that came of the realization, I consider that day to be the best day of my life.
They have no idea how they saved my life that night but I’m sure I’ll tell them when we are old
Call your son and do something fun today.
At that point I started coaching them in high school sports. And it made us even closer.
I now own two businesses with one of my brothers. This would have never happened had we not gotten so close through me coaching him.
Because of all the good that came of the realization, I consider that day to be the best day of my life.
They have no idea how they saved my life that night but I’m sure I’ll tell them when we are old
Call your son and do something fun today.
This post was edited on 1/12/18 at 7:57 am
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:45 am to bnglcat
quote:
Anyone want to end it...
But have 1, maybe 2, reasons not to
I've seen (close to first hand) what it does to those left behind who cared for the person. I'd probably have to know there was not a person left on earth to stoop that low.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:46 am to bnglcat
To any future posters on this thread who want to make jokes, negative comments, or troll: please dont post your comment and just move on to another thread. Be a human being for once, and understand that we're trying to help keep someone alive.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:46 am to lake chuck fan
Thanks everyone. I was really hammered last night which is always conducive to good thread starting decisions.
It was a bummer night for sure. I'm paying for it today for sure and probably will for a while (wife read the thread)...
It was a bummer night for sure. I'm paying for it today for sure and probably will for a while (wife read the thread)...
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:49 am to bnglcat
Hey man, glad to hear from you. Hope you're doing okay.
Posted on 1/12/18 at 7:59 am to bnglcat
Glad you’ve got a clearer head today.
Maybe your wife reading the thread isn’t the worst thing.
Hopefully it leads to some conversation and understanding on both sides
Maybe your wife reading the thread isn’t the worst thing.
Hopefully it leads to some conversation and understanding on both sides
Posted on 1/12/18 at 8:00 am to bnglcat
quote:
I'm paying for it today for sure and probably will for a while (wife read the thread)...
If she makes you feel guilty for saying the way you feel, thats a her problem. I hope she understands you need support instead of being embarrassed you expressed your feelings.
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