Anyone else have random short intense visual and auditory hallucination sensation events?

Like everyone once in a while it feels like your brain clicks into a different mode. Like the walls are closing in or getting vibrant? Or you're driving and suddenly you feel a massive wave of deja vu wash over you. It's like you suddenly sense something is about to happen and your whole body tenses up.

You ever feel like you're losing your grip on reality occasionally? Like you suddenly might slip into a mindset you can't escape from?

A mental quick sand that is slowly but surely enveloping you. And you should be terrified. After all, you're losing your mind and your attachments to the real world.

You should feel fear.

You should be afraid of the complete loss of yourself and the unraveling of your brain.

But you know what the most terrifying thing is? It's not that you see that you're drowning or you feel the darkness closing it. It's not that you know that this time you might not snap back out of it. It's not that you don't know how the rest of the world will perceive you when your mind is gone. It's not the thought of leaving your loved ones to care for your body as your mind dissappears. No. What's truly terrifying is each time you begin to sink you find yourself almost gleefully diving deeper into the darkness rather than running for the light.

It's not so much an acceptance of fate as it is a conscious decision to surrender your consciousness. What's worse is the sadness you feel when reality sets back in. There's an indescribably bizarre and nostalgic yearning for a state of being you don't understand and shouldn't want but are drawn to just the same.