re: Any Tips for a 4 year old who won't sleep in his own bed?

Maybe giving him a little something that will make him sleep better at night. After a few nights of sleeping without waking up through the night, he might get back on track.

Make your wife sleep on the couch with him

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Not a good thing to hear 1 month after they started daycare in a new place.

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Wouldve weighed on my conscience if I didn't mention it to you. Better safe than sorry with something that consequential.

You propbably already know this, but for any other parents who might benefit, my brother gave me some great advice:

When we were little, we were warned "don't talk to strangers" to protect us from abuse. But the reality is the vast majority of abuse is from someone you or the child knows. So warn your kids to be aware of "Silly/funny people". What makes them funny/silly/whatever you want to call it? Someone who asks you to keep a secret from your parents, bc that's just silly.

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because the threats just led to "I'm scared" conversations in the middle of the night

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My boy doesn't do much in giving details on his feelings, if you will, like his brother would. But that sounds similar to my situation, the only thing he ever says is that he'll "be so scared in his own bed."

Thinking I'm going to do a reversal here and instead of continually taking things away, i'll let him have his favorites back but add in new rewards that he'll only get if he stays in his bed, and he'll see his brother getting them daily as well. I also like the idea of sleeping with him all night in his bed for a couple of nights to show him there's nothing to be scared of. That would probably involve having his brother sleep in our big bed, but I'm really not worried about him, I'm certain he'd go right back to his own bed afterwards...hopefully.

Child sleeps in own bed. Problem solved. You are "letting" the child sleep in your bed. Don't "let" them do that. You are your own problem and you can "lol" about it if you want, but if you really want them to sleep in their own bed, you make them because you are the parent. If you cannot get your young children to do what they are supposed to do to make the family work like you think it should, you are failing, at least a little, as a parent.

If you can't figure the whole discipline thing, then let me offer perhaps more tolerable and practical advice. Lock your bedroom door, with the children on the outside of it. Let them know beforehand (by telling them exactly once) that if they don't sleep in their own bed, they will be punished. Let them sleep wherever they want (except don't let them in your bedroom). Don't open the door until the next morning.

If, in the morning, you find them not in their bed, punish them in a meaningful way. If they throw a tantrum, punish them for that. Assert your authority as a parent. Do this for their sake.

Oh, and tell them you love them every night before they go to bed, even if they are mad at you.

^^^ Is someone cutting onions in here? Damn that makes me want to go home and squeeze my little ones.

But... You have to find a way to do all of that and not develop bad habits. My sister-in-law is still fighting it with her 9 year old. It will only get worse if you're not careful. Letting them get in bed every so often when they're scared is MUCH different than letting them climb in every night.

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But... You have to find a way to do all of that and not develop bad habits. My sister-in-law is still fighting it with her 9 year old. It will only get worse if you're not careful. Letting them get in bed every so often when they're scared is MUCH different than letting them climb in every night.

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Agreed. Not sure if I incorrectly spoke before but maybe not, every once in a while the wife will let them sleep in our bed on a random weekend night. But it's not that often and as soon as they fall asleep I lug them back up to their beds. That being said, I truly don't thik that has anything to do with this. It's moreso the wife allowing them in her bed when I was gone plus the new house, new surroundings, new everything.

This thread and some Google research definitely has me starting a new course of action today. I won't take anything away from him any more like we've been doing. It'll be more positive reinforcement, letting him take his favorite toys in his bed with him, and probably sleeping with him in his room a couple of nights to show him there's nothing to be scared of, even if I run the risk of him latching on to that as well. Oh, and a TV for the bedroom, that's probably happening this weekend.

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It'll be more positive reinforcement, letting him take his favorite toys in his bed with him, and probably sleeping with him in his room a couple of nights to show him there's nothing to be scared of, even if I run the risk of him latching on to that as well. Oh, and a TV for the bedroom, that's probably happening this weekend

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All good approaches, but I'd really try to hold off on sleeping with him until you've exhausted all other options. Other than that, the TV or any other kind of white noise should help and may provide immediate relief.

On a related note, take 3-4 minutes and read this blog post if you have some time. I hardly ever check out those kind of things, but my wife encouraged me to read this one and I reluctantly gave in to her. It isn't profound or ground-breaking, but it is nice to just remind yourself that shite isn't easy for your child either.

Thanks. I'll check it out.

I read something probably similar a while back, probably when they were 1 or 2 years old. It definitely opened up my eyes to what we just think is random crying/whining and generally annoying is to us knowing that sometimes these random, unimportant things they cry about are legit stressing them out and creating anxiety for them. I probably lost my way a bit straying from knowing that, but I'll get back on track now!