re: Affair advice-UPDATE page 19

I won't even harp on whatever one else is harping on saying you're a POS and all.

Boils down to one thing, you're fricking lazy. Too lazy to put the spark in your marriage, the spark is made, it doesn't just happen. Now you've ruined the lives of 8 people, that's if the cougar doesn't have children. 8 people, because you're too lazy to work at your marriage and took the easy thing.

Yes

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Boils down to one thing, you're fricking lazy. Too lazy to put the spark in your marriage, the spark is made, it doesn't just happen. 

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The fact is that over time this has to be refreshed. I've been with my wife for 16 years. I'd be lying if I said we didn't go through some periods where things weren't so great. You figure it out, talk about it and get back to the reason it worked to begin with.

That doesn't always work. Some people marry into a situation that doesn't work at all but almost everyone has to refresh things occasionally.

This just in, the 1285th time that you have sex won't be like the 3rd

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4 kids. 8 years of marriage

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you're living my nightmare

On a lighter note I have to give it to the OP. He's getting sex from both and I can't even get sex from 1 woman.

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To her credit, she left before they actually ever met in person.
We chatted and my computer at home at the time would get the chats and so we’d group chat when I was at work. Nothing inappropriate on the surface, just nerd talk, philosophy, etc.

Then he stopped chatting with me. And they started chatting behind my back without me knowing. And online dates when I was at work. Affection at home, what little there was, died off. He sold her a fantasy and she bought it.
She wanted to leave, I wanted to work it out, but it’s a two way street. And try as I might what we had wasn’t stronger than the allure of the unknown, and I couldn’t live with her if she wasn’t gonna try to make it work.

And so I filed. And she didn’t fight it. Got 50/50 custody, no child support, no alimony, I got the house, nicer vehicle, and the whole thing cost me...$350



It was just about then I noticed my lawyer was a 9 foot tall sea creature from the Cretaceous Period...


But honestly it might have saved my life. I was so miserable, do depressed, if I had stayed in that loveless and affectionless Marriage it may have gotten too bad.

But now, what, 8 years out, I’m a happier person, I’ve learned to love again, be a better dad.

It was the kinder cruelty she did, breaking my heart. Because sometimes we need to be broken before we can be reforged, harder and stronger and sharper for the fire.

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What great advice does the OT have?

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Get a divorce. Then do what you want to do.

4 kids in 8 years? Does it really matter what you do at this point? Your kids are going to have a fricked up childhood and you will be poor.