My son “released” a song from the basement-looking for feedback

Honestly, it wasn't bad.

If I had to criticize, he uses a lot of the same instrumentation, vocal tone, rhythm and lyrics. The biggest thing I didn't like is it wound up with the whole song sounding very similar. It would have grabbed me more if there had been more evolution or unpredictability. I kept waiting for it to break into more.

But he's 17. The melody was solid, and he has a unique sounding voice that can be interesting as he refines it. Heck, it's better than I could do, and I didn't dislike it. I just kept waiting for it to take off.

Overall, respect to you and your son for putting it out there. I hope he goes for it of he wants to explore music, because he has some ability to work with.

Edit: I'm also not a musician, just like music.

I think it works better if a bit of variety kicks in with at least one element. If he maintains the vocals, maybe he uses an instrumental bridge to change the rhythm, or bring in a new instrument.

That said, I could easily see this as a song on an album. When it's the only one I hear, I'm probably pickier about having something to add that extra element.

I agree with most of the comments posted - really good place to build from for him.

As a drummer, the drum track was somewhat off for my taste. I would keep the same vibe but but would re-work it a little - I felt like it was lacking something and almost felt off-tempo a couple times.

All that said, kudos to your kid!

Yep, he shows real promise. I like his voice and am glad he's singing--not all kids have the guts or confidence. My own son is a very accomplished musician/writer but it took him some psychological wrangling before he sang his own songs. "Dad, I finally realized no one else is gonna sing them so..."

I can't say anything more than others have said but hope your son keeps at it.

I posted my son's songs here about 6 years ago when he was 15 or 16 y/o and got similar feedback. As parents of talented kids we all think most of what they do is great but I really enjoyed the feedback of others.

quote:

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Why does he play keyboard if he’s a boy?

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Why do you try to be funny when you are not a comedian?

quote:

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Why does he play keyboard if he’s a boy?

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Usually when people start off by playing the piano/keyboard other instruments come easy to them

Dumb fricking comment by the way. The kid is putting himself out there.

I use to record on a 4 track in my late teens that I got from my dad and later in life recorded three albums playing at all the major venues in New Orleans. I very rarely play anymore, but those were some fun times. There’s nothing like playing in front of a room full of people.

Your boy has talent and I liked the song a lot. I too was waiting for something bigger to happen, but soon after just appreciated it for what it is. Some things are better left simple. The timing is off in a couple of places, but he recovered well. He will only get better with time and practice.

I'm not a big music person so take below with a grain of salt, but some things stood out, both positive and negative.

It needs a stronger, better intro. Comes in too weak.

I like the Remember dreaming about New York line. Somehow it brought me in. Maybe because most people have dreamt about living in or visiting New York city.

You have a promising voice.

Overall the music needs a bigger sound. I wouldn't mind hearing some bass sounds. Maybe lower notes on piano with sustain. Like a warm hum sound.
This Marty Stuart song is fantastic:
Marty Stuart - Walls Of A Prison
The amount of sound they get out of their four member band is amazing. You feel the music around you. It fills the room. I think this sound is what you should go after here. These are top tier musicians, so if you get close to this you are doing very well.

It think the song could have and maybe should have ended at 2:49. Lyrics sounded complete at that point and then you threw in the 8th grade line. Didn't need it. Either get rid of it or replace it with something that expands on the going "our separate ways" line.

I would go with a different drum sound. I feel my ears flinching. Sounds too sharp and snappy. Go with something softer and warmer. And I really don't like the tapping on the high hat or the metronome sound.

All in all, it ain't bad. Pretty decent really. If I heard it come on the radio, I would have given it a chance for sure, assuming I missed the intro. But I feel I would have changed the station after the 2:49 mark.

It's good to put your work out there for others to hear. "The risk of insult is the price of clarity."

Not bad

Langland, I think he really took some of your advice to heart.

He's 17, and has time to ponder about life?
You are falling down on your job. He needs to be working in the fricking garden and being actually useful. He needs to really learn about some shite, instead of starting out, just learning to cry about it.

Never lived, and cries about how hard it is?
No wonder that music is so terrible these days.


Oh yeah, that's OK, your son is the artful type.