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Sterling Archer or James Bond
Posted on 8/16/12 at 7:57 pm
Posted on 8/16/12 at 7:57 pm
Who would you rather be? The comparison:
Women: Bond pulls better tail. Other than a stint with Lana (
), Archer seems to nail only tramps and hooke...prostitutes. And Pam. Bond's list of conquests is long and renowned. Other than than that black chick in A View to a Kill, every one is OT 7+.
Cars: Come on. Bond gets Porche's, Astin Matins, Bimmers and a Volvo. Archer gets a Dodge.
Mother: Archer. Mallory tries to rain on his parade, but fails miserably. Bond, every time he pisses off M, she cancels his credit cards.
Weapons: Bond gets a vintage PPK, 70 year old technology. Archer has an entire arsenal of weapons at his fingertips. He also has night vision goggles.
Support: Kreiger >>>> Q and it's not even close. The best thing Q ever gave Bond is a gay-assed jetpack. Kreiger, otoh rebuilt Archer's only true love from a few leftover body parts splayed out on the sidewalk. He even gave her a custom vagina.
Bad guys: Now it gets interesting. Bond has Goldfinger, Dr. No, Christopher Walken and Javier Bardem, who looks to be a serious badass. Archer has the potato mafia, whose Don sodomized his mother, and Barry the bionic douchebag. Barry, being an automotron gives Archer a slight edge here.
In the end, it comes down to Lana. If I think I can get back in her pants, I want to be Archer. Sure Bond has all those other babes, but the seem like they frick like cold fish. Lana shags like a mynx. I'm willing to chance it and go with Archer. I guess of Lana continues to rebuff my advances, I have Pam the sex chupacabra as a backup.
Team Archer here. What you got?
Women: Bond pulls better tail. Other than a stint with Lana (
), Archer seems to nail only tramps and hooke...prostitutes. And Pam. Bond's list of conquests is long and renowned. Other than than that black chick in A View to a Kill, every one is OT 7+. Cars: Come on. Bond gets Porche's, Astin Matins, Bimmers and a Volvo. Archer gets a Dodge.
Mother: Archer. Mallory tries to rain on his parade, but fails miserably. Bond, every time he pisses off M, she cancels his credit cards.
Weapons: Bond gets a vintage PPK, 70 year old technology. Archer has an entire arsenal of weapons at his fingertips. He also has night vision goggles.
Support: Kreiger >>>> Q and it's not even close. The best thing Q ever gave Bond is a gay-assed jetpack. Kreiger, otoh rebuilt Archer's only true love from a few leftover body parts splayed out on the sidewalk. He even gave her a custom vagina.
Bad guys: Now it gets interesting. Bond has Goldfinger, Dr. No, Christopher Walken and Javier Bardem, who looks to be a serious badass. Archer has the potato mafia, whose Don sodomized his mother, and Barry the bionic douchebag. Barry, being an automotron gives Archer a slight edge here.
In the end, it comes down to Lana. If I think I can get back in her pants, I want to be Archer. Sure Bond has all those other babes, but the seem like they frick like cold fish. Lana shags like a mynx. I'm willing to chance it and go with Archer. I guess of Lana continues to rebuff my advances, I have Pam the sex chupacabra as a backup.
Team Archer here. What you got?
9
Posted on 8/16/12 at 8:04 pm to Cold Pizza
Bond. Is this even really up for debate? I love watching Archer, but the dude has more bad things happen to him than good things, and Bond gets more arse.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 8:07 pm to Cold Pizza
quote:
Kreiger
SMOKEBOMB
Posted on 8/16/12 at 9:17 pm to jcole4lsu
Doesn't Archer have a kid with a prostitute? If so, he should automatically be disqualified.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 9:18 pm to smash williams
quote:
Doesn't Archer have a kid with a prostitute? If so, he should automatically be disqualified.
Not his, and that's how rumors get started. The wee baby Shemus is Cyril's bastard child.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 9:40 pm to Cold Pizza
Bond, and this is not even close.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 9:43 pm to Tactical1
I would rather hang out with archer, to get the job done, its bond.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 10:36 pm to Cold Pizza
Bond easily
Archer has fricked Pam. Bond has fricked Ursula Andress.
Yep
He may have the better weapons.
Kreiger also drugs his fellow employees regularly though.
quote:
Women: Bond pulls better tail. Other than a stint with Lana ( ), Archer seems to nail only tramps and hooke...prostitutes. And Pam. Bond's list of conquests is long and renowned. Other than than that black chick in A View to a Kill, every one is OT 7+.
Archer has fricked Pam. Bond has fricked Ursula Andress.
quote:
Cars: Come on. Bond gets Porche's, Astin Matins, Bimmers and a Volvo. Archer gets a Dodge.
Yep
quote:
Weapons: Bond gets a vintage PPK, 70 year old technology. Archer has an entire arsenal of weapons at his fingertips. He also has night vision goggles.
He may have the better weapons.
quote:
Support: Kreiger >>>> Q and it's not even close. The best thing Q ever gave Bond is a gay-assed jetpack. Kreiger, otoh rebuilt Archer's only true love from a few leftover body parts splayed out on the sidewalk. He even gave her a custom vagina.
Kreiger also drugs his fellow employees regularly though.
Posted on 8/16/12 at 10:54 pm to Cold Pizza
Seriously? Bond has worse weapons? He has a damn laser watch. Every time you turn around Q has invented a new gadget/weapon for him.
Bond has better women, better cars, doesn't work for his mother who is a raging bitch, has as good of weapons or better, has better support overall even though Krieger has probably made the best "gadget" ever, and doesn't have to fight an indestructible cyborg who steals his fiancee.
Bond. All day, everyday.
Bond has better women, better cars, doesn't work for his mother who is a raging bitch, has as good of weapons or better, has better support overall even though Krieger has probably made the best "gadget" ever, and doesn't have to fight an indestructible cyborg who steals his fiancee.
Bond. All day, everyday.
This post was edited on 8/16/12 at 10:55 pm
Posted on 8/16/12 at 10:55 pm to Cold Pizza
Xander Cruz
Posted on 8/16/12 at 10:55 pm to LoveThatMoney
Bond did frick that ugly black chick in A View to a Kill
Posted on 8/16/12 at 10:57 pm to Cosmo
quote:
Bond did frick that ugly black chick in A View to a Kill
... And Archer fricked a whale named Pam.
Posted on 8/17/12 at 7:53 am to LoveThatMoney
quote:
... And Archer fricked a whale named Pam.
Who, by his own admission, was by far the best piece of arse he ever had.
quote:
Urlsa Andres
...just lays there and squirms around.
quote:
Seriously? Bond has worse weapons? He has a damn laser watch. Every time you turn around Q has invented a new gadget/weapon for him.
Did Q build this:
This post was edited on 8/17/12 at 7:56 am
Posted on 8/17/12 at 9:34 am to Cold Pizza
quote:
Weapons: Bond gets a vintage PPK, 70 year old technology. Archer has an entire arsenal of weapons at his fingertips. He also has night vision goggles.
People again underestimate the value of the tactical turtleneck (aka, tackleneck).
Posted on 8/17/12 at 4:05 pm to PsychTiger
Bond pretty easily.
Lana is fine, but come on, the list of Bond girls is long and distinguished usually three or four real babes per film with only a few errr...misfires.
Bond lives the highlife, while Archer is generally pretty miserable.
It sucks that Bond's wife was killed, but Archer's fiancee was killed, then remade into a cyborg, then ran off with the dude that killed her.
And Bond's cars are the sh*t.
Lana is fine, but come on, the list of Bond girls is long and distinguished usually three or four real babes per film with only a few errr...misfires.
Bond lives the highlife, while Archer is generally pretty miserable.
It sucks that Bond's wife was killed, but Archer's fiancee was killed, then remade into a cyborg, then ran off with the dude that killed her.
And Bond's cars are the sh*t.
Posted on 8/18/12 at 2:28 pm to Cold Pizza
Well Lana is like the cartoon Halle Berry and Bond gets IRL Halle Berry.
Plus in just three seasons off the top of my head Archer has been captured by pirates, the Russian Mob, Bionic Berry, that crazy dude who got Cyril to install that virus, and lots of others.
Plus don't forget that Archer got cancer and had to do Chemo; the answer here is Bond, James Bond
Plus in just three seasons off the top of my head Archer has been captured by pirates, the Russian Mob, Bionic Berry, that crazy dude who got Cyril to install that virus, and lots of others.
Plus don't forget that Archer got cancer and had to do Chemo; the answer here is Bond, James Bond
Posted on 8/18/12 at 2:30 pm to Tactical1
quote:
Bond, and this is not even close.
Posted on 8/18/12 at 3:16 pm to Cold Pizza
I would need to know more about Bond's butler to answer this question.
Posted on 8/20/12 at 2:10 pm to PowerTool
Archer. Has Bond ever been best friends with a crepuscular ocelot?
I didn't think so.
I didn't think so.
Posted on 8/20/12 at 4:22 pm to Cold Pizza
quote:
Weapons: Bond gets a vintage PPK, 70 year old technology. Archer has an entire arsenal of weapons at his fingertips. He also has night vision goggles.
First off, he switched to a Walther P99 a few movies ago. So the Vintage Aston Martin with oil slick, flame throwers, and ejection seat doesnt count? How bout the new Vanquish he drove in Die Another Day, with the cloaking device and auto-spike snow tires? Lest we also forget the Omega Watch, with super magnet, laser cutter, welding torch, etc?
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