re: Mitch Hedberg

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Pringles is the most laid back company ever. They started as a tennis ball factory, but instead of rubber, got potatoes. So someone said, "fry em up"

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You will never see an escalator out of order sign. Only an escalator temporary stairs.... Thanks for the convenience.

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I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say, "Just press two for a while and when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."

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On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the frick did you get that banana at?'

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Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shite into a truck.

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