re: Hate What I’m Doing But I’m Walking Into Theater Right Now To See RoS *It Was Bad,Real Bad

Wow.

What a mess that was.

RoS is not a good movie. It’s not an awful movie but it’s definitely a bad movie. Below average. Massively compressed, forced, rushed. Poor direction by Abrams.

Knew about Palpatine coming back. Don’t like the story. I realize Abrams is trying to find some good idea for a SW movie after the shitshow that was TLJ and Emperor provided a possibility and a link to the past but it was just not good.

I hate the fast pace snappy dialogue between the characters. It’s like listening to Gilmore Girls in space.

These characters that we are supposed to love are largely unlikeable. They just are. I felt nothing for any of them...in fact I really wanted them to just shut up. I felt for Chewy and a little for Leia.

Force healing! After essentially no mention of force healing in all movies we suddenly are force healing the shite outta everything. It’s like Abrams yelled through a megaphone: YALL GOT THAT? WERE DOIN FORCE HEALIN NOW.

More light speed through/not through objects.

The dialogue is horrendous. It is loaded with a preachiness and many cringe inducing moments. It’s stilted, manufactured, and full of attempted catchphrases. It’s like being hit in the face with motivational one liners at a cheesy retreat.

Last scene was Abrams literally throwing everything including the kitchen sink. It was like a madman painting a wall canvas with cgi paint. It looked like a Michael Bay directed wizard battle but with more and bigger explosions.

When Kylo tried to run Rey down with his car. Why? Did he not know she could jump over him? Like so so many things in this SW sequel trilogy, it was done just to look cool and be different with absolutely no thought or regard to how silly the idea really is. I was like wtf is this?

The team being chased by a stormtrooper on essentially a John Deere tractor. Again why? No speeders? Just to be different and have a tractor?

I was told Rose only had a minute of screen time. She was on screen wayyy too much. She kept popping back up from time to time throughout the movie, making it worse.

Rey of course is Rey. This entire sequel trilogy was not about the force or an empire or a rebellion or space or worlds or a chivalry order of honor. It was about a strong independent woman. That’s it. That took precedence over everything.

Hux is just a waste. A joke.

The Knights Of Ren. Have these clowns ever done anything right? Are we supposed to think they are badasses, cause they have done nothing to make us think that. Kylo is awful and probably the most wasted character in movie history, given his potential.

I liked Rey at Tattoine at the end. That gave me my one little nugget of goodness to take out of this shitheap.

TLJ is the worst movie in history, given the subject matter to work with. It’s the biggest bust. But RoS is the second worst movie in the SW franchise. It’s worse than AotC, TPM by far.

I wish I could be done a C3PO and have this SW sequel wiped from my memory. I feel like I just put down a sick old crazy dog that was once a being of strength, beauty, and inspiration. I feel closure and relief now that it’s done.

SW is dead now. Let’s let it RIP and remember the good times.