ESPN ranks the 30 owners of Major League Baseball

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1. John Henry, Red Sox: In case you hadn't heard, the Red Sox hadn't won the World Series for at least a couple years before Henry took over. Now with two recent world championships and a spiffed-up Fenway Park always overflowing with "Sweet Caroline"-singing fans, Red Sox Nation is so rich and powerful that NATO should declare a no-fly zone over Boston.

2. Nolan Ryan, Rangers: Sure, this is way premature. Nolan's group hasn't owned the team for even a year yet. But when you're rating owners, premature is a good thing because, given enough time, all owners eventually do something to alienate fans (some quicker than others -- see Tom Ricketts). Although Nolan is just one of 17 investors, he's the CEO who calls the shots, and he played a major role in the Rangers' reaching the World Series.

And if a pitcher with a 5-9 record and 4.82 ERA asks for $6 million in arbitration, Nolan can tell him, "Son, back in my day, if I had an ERA over 4.00, struck out fewer than 300 batters and didn't throw at least one no-hitter, shoot, I would be too embarrassed to go out in public, let alone howl about needing a raise. I would just go home to Alvin, Texas, and build up my arm strength by installing more air-conditioning units in the winter. Now, why don't you just take our $600,000 offer, cover up those tattoos and go work on your cutter."

3. Arte Moreno, Angels The Angels have reached the postseason five times in his eight years as owner; he invests heavily in the team; and his club has passed the Los Angeles Dodgers of Divorce Court as the best franchise in southern California. True, he could spend that money a little wiser (Gary Matthews Jr.?) but who cares? The man lowered beer prices when he took over! He should be commissioner!

4. The Steinbrenners, Yankees: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Under the late Boss and then his sons the Yankees have won 11 American League pennants and seven world championships and have reached the postseason 15 times in the past 16 seasons. The Yankees are easily the most successful franchise in American sports and, as Wilpon demonstrates, it isn't just because they play in New York, either. Jealous fans can only wish their team's owners would demand such a high level of success. On the other hand, do they have be such asses about it so often?

5. Stuart Sternberg, Rays: When he took over the team after the 2005 season, the Rays had never had a winning record and were baseball's official punch line. Within three years, he had them in the World Series. Imagine what he could do with an actual fan base.

6. Jerry Reinsdorf, White Sox: Back in the '80s, Reinsdorf threatened to move the Sox to Tampa Bay's lovely new dome unless he got a new stadium, then played a major role in ownership's stubborn stance during the 1994-95 strike. On the other hand, he treats his employees well and won a World Series, which makes up for a lot. Plus, anyone who lets Ozzie Guillen speak his mind is OK with me.

7. Bill DeWitt Jr., Cardinals: You have two teams in Missouri. In Kansas City, you have David Glass and a team that hasn't been a factor in a quarter century. In St. Louis, you have DeWitt and the Cardinals, who are perennial contenders, won the World Series in 2006 and are in first place this season despite losing one of their best pitchers. Which is proof that market size and location aren't nearly as important as having a good owner. (Note: If DeWitt doesn't re-sign Pujols, he will slide down this list so rapidly he should be on a luge sled.)

8. David Montgomery, Phillies: A decade ago, he would have been much further down this list. But since then, the Phillies owners have turned the team into a world champion and one of the best-run franchises in baseball. Even Philadelphia fans would be slower than normal to complain anymore.

9. Mike Ilitch, Tigers: Despite how hard Detroit was hit by the recession, Ilitch keeps pouring money into the team and trying to win. It's almost enough for me to forgive him for moving the team out of Tiger Stadium.

10. Bill Neukom, Giants: He took over the team in fall 2008 and had the Giants winning their first World Series in San Francisco just two years later. The team is in first place; the ballpark is packed every night; and, best of all, no one worries about the size of the best player's testicles.

11. Mark Attanasio, Brewers

12. Bob Castellini, Reds: Castellini is a driven, passionate owner who is working hard to return the Reds to their glory days. That's very good. Another bonus: He doesn't let his dog use the infield as a bathroom.

13. Liberty Media, Atlanta: CEO Terry McGuirk isn't exactly Ted Turner. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all.

14. Hiroshi Yamauchi, Mariners
15. The Pohlad family, Twins
16. Rogers Communications, Blue Jays
17. Lewis Wolff, Athletics
18. Ted Lerner, Nationals
19. Jeff Moorad, Padres

20. Dick and Charlie Monfort, Rockies: A couple of years ago, the Monfort brothers were less popular than Rocky Mountain oysters served raw. But with the 2007 World Series and the 2009 playoff appearance, the Troy Tulowitzki contract and rising attendance, they don't look quite so bad anymore.

21. Ken Kendrick, Diamondbacks: He recently called for a ban on smokeless tobacco. Which is great. Now, if he can only enact a ban on overreacting to the team's fortunes.

22. Drayton McLane, Astros: He just sold the team, but I'm guessing few will miss him very much in Houston.

23. Tom Ricketts, Cubs: He told a Chicago reporter last week that "I can't stand it when I hear someone say they can't afford to go to a game. It might be hard to get tickets for a Yankees or Sox game, but there's no reason why they can't afford to go to another game." It must be nice to be so detached from the real world.

24. Larry Dolan, Cleveland: His team is leading the AL Central, but Rachel Phillips still was a more popular Cleveland owner in the original "Major League."

25. Jeffrey Loria, Marlins: I remember watching Loria run a victory lap around the bases at Yankee Stadium after winning the 2003 World Series and wishing that all the Expos fans he screwed over in Montreal were right behind nipping at his heels

26. Peter Angelos, Orioles: I applaud his refusal to participate in the 1995 replacement player scheme, but his ownership is a disaster otherwise. The Orioles haven't had a winning season since 1997, and attendance has dropped by half. If it gets much worse, Baltimore fans will start feeling nostalgic about Bob Irsay.

27. David Glass, Kansas City: Can't find an Eric Hosmer Royals replica jersey yet? Don't worry. The way Glass runs the team, you'll be able to buy a Hosmer White Sox replica jersey in a couple of years.

28. Bob Nutting, Pirates: Pittsburgh fans have suffered through 19 consecutive losing seasons, but that hasn't stopped Nutting from depositing those revenue-sharing payments into his wallet. He makes the judge in "The Natural" look like a big spender.

29. Fred Wilpon, Mets: Despite playing in baseball's most lucrative market, his team hasn't won a World Series in 25 years. He needed an emergency $25 million loan to cover expenses last year. He says the team could lose $70 million this season. And he's complaining about Carlos Beltran underperforming?

30. Frank and Jamie McCourt, Dodgers: The team has performed fairly well (two NLCS series), but then again, a lot of real estate portfolios performed well for a while, too. The McCourts paid an astrologer six figures to be a team consultant ("I sense big things for Juan Pierre in Dodger Stadium"). They're so over-leveraged they might not meet payroll, and even attendance is plummeting. It's so bad that Walter O'Malley would have a higher approval rating in Brooklyn now than the McCourts have in Los Angeles.

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