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re: You're all sleeping but I've made a huge mistake - please help

Posted on 7/31/16 at 8:35 am to
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 8:35 am to
I'll also add this - if the most logical career prospects you have are a $10-20k raise, what is the value of the degree? What is going to the top 5 school getting you?

That should be part of your decision, especially when it comes to financing part or all of it.

My wife and I did something similar, and we look back on that as some of the best times we had. We already had a son when I started school and then our 2nd about a year in. It was a tough go financially but we pieced it all together across loans, side work, and solid financial decisions.

One thing I'll say is this - the absolute last people we wanted or needed advice from during that time of life were people with no kids. Until you have them, and until their needs are part of your equation, you need to shut your mouth about how they play into life decisions.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 8:43 am to
well when your entire post centers around you saying you're worried about how to get out of a hole and why you're in that hole and the biggest reasons your post lays out for said hole is 1) wife's inability to get a real job bc of the kids schooling 2) a $1500/mo place vs a tiny apartment again for the kid then it certainly seems like mistakes from the past aka having a kid when you weren't really ready for it is a big part of your struggle whether you wanna see that or not. The kids here there is nothing you can do now but don't say I don't know, I know enough that I'm not in a place to have kids now bc my fiancée is wrapping up med school and I run my own business so I don't want my kid raised by the maid, I'll have kids in a couple years when i sell my business and I'm financially able and have all of the time to care for the kid
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 8:47 am to
It'll be fun reading your posts in a few years after you have kids...between running your own business and your doctor wife, it'll be great to read about all of the predictable financial issues you will encounter, and it'll also be refreshing to read about whose career y'all decide to end or put on hold for several years to make sure your kids aren't raIsed by "the maid" as you put it.

In other words - you really have no idea what you are taking about here. If everyone waited until they had life "perfectly arranged" before having kids, no one would ever have kids.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:02 am to
Well thats cute that you think you understand my financial situation and think Im jerk for saying one should be responsible and know their path before having kids, guess that makes me a bad guy. Anyways, since you assume my financial situation, and the other guy who said my post in the $40k millionaire thread was assuming too much, well you guys are assuming a bit much about me because im pretty care free this sunday morning without worrying about kids or anything and im just chilling in my rolls royce at a whataburger drive through waiting to get some taquitos living a headache free life my good men.....so whether you believe it or not, I know a thing or two about managing my finances.

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Posted by tigerbacon
Arkansas
Member since Aug 2010
4448 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:18 am to
Man if your in grad school get a fellowship if your university didn't give you an assistantship. And secondly why didn't your school give you an assistantship so you could also get a fellowship and have double income totally 40k a year plus free tuition? Before you say that's not how it works, my wife did that her whole way through her phd.
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:21 am to
Congrats on your leased RR, man. That's a huge accomplishment.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:22 am to
Thanks it's pretty awesome
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:25 am to
It better be for nearly $2k per month.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:26 am to
It's actually pretty heavily loaded it's closer to $3k/mo bc I opted for 5k miles a year vs 2500 just in case I wanna do a little driving
Posted by Tigerpaw123
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2007
17729 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:27 am to
I don't see where a masters is going to be worth it

"Only a damn fool don't change his mind"
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:27 am to
My bottom line is this. Having kids is about so much more than finances. If it were only about money, having kids is the worst economic decision you can make unless you can guarantee they are a left handed pitcher that can throw 98 with a wicked slider.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:30 am to
And I'm saying me not having kids doesn't mean I don't understand, it means some of us choose to not have kids till we're set in every way. Financially,emotionally,and most of all capable. I'm financially capable but I'm not in a place nor is the lady to have kids, that doesn't mean we don't understand, it just means we're conservative and make sure everything goes as we want planned so we don't get surprised
Posted by TigeRoots
Member since Oct 2008
8547 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:32 am to
quote:

Congrats on your leased RR, man.


Would you recommend buying one over leasing?
Posted by Teddy Ruxpin
Member since Oct 2006
40530 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:35 am to
quote:

Regarding the mythical $100k/yr, I feel compelled to say that I know plenty of English PhDs, and very very very few are approaching this.


Not contradicting you at all I just thought I'd share this. Wife and I check out a house to buy yesterday and seller came home early. We find out she works at UT. Wife asks me what I thought she did there and I said "Probably women or gender studies"

No shite, gender studies and makes $106,000 a year. Her profile uses "Ze" as pronouns. I was dying.

Anywho OP, you should also consider educational operations positions instead of just teaching. There are also consulting jobs in the field. Something to think about.
This post was edited on 7/31/16 at 10:29 am
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:35 am to
Youre gonna lose $200k either way you spin it, for me leasing is about turning it in when my time is up, for me it's in a few months. I had another exotic before this and they're tough to sell,actually near impossible and you end up getting raped by the dealer on a trade in which is what you'll have to end up doing. With a lease you hand them the keys and lease another. Only buy an exotic if its one you feel will appreciate.
This post was edited on 7/31/16 at 9:40 am
Posted by NewIberiaHaircut
Lafayette
Member since May 2013
12292 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:35 am to
Why make this post in a thread about a guy struggling with his grad school decision? You may be taking this stuff just a little too personally. You usually have good advice and at least have a different way of approaching something. Why not just leave it at that? If you want attention for your Rolls then go start a brag thread on the OT.

And Whataburger for breakfast is trashy as frick. I hope your wife is going to school to be a cardiac surgeon. Maybe she'll give you a discount on your bypass surgery.
Posted by DrEdgeLSU
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2006
8611 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:38 am to
quote:

t just means we're conservative and make sure everything goes as we want planned so we don't get surprised


You go on thinking that there won't be surprises when you have kids. It's cute.
Posted by dabigfella
Member since Mar 2016
6687 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:38 am to
thanks, and whataburger is incredible and if you dont like the taquitos, especially the potato,egg, and cheese one you're unamerican. Ive been on this forum forever and never once posted a pic or said I had a rolls royce, it was only now when a few posters said i was assuming too much and they made assumptions that my financials would see a day where Id face a similar struggle where I said ya know what, here ya go kids.
This post was edited on 7/31/16 at 9:41 am
Posted by Odinson
Asgard
Member since Apr 2014
2851 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:41 am to
You have to know when to hold them and when to fold them is the key to success. I'm not sure your pursued degree is the hand to have. Only you can make that determination.

Years ago, wanting to provide more for my wife and newborn, I opened my first business that put me in the red 500k. Two months later, I woke up in several panics and realized that I was over my head. Long story short, I was able to sell it to some arrogant bastard and never looked back.

That was a very valuable lesson early in my business career to not be stubborn and trust your gut.
Posted by The Easter Bunny
Santa Barbara
Member since Jan 2005
45651 posts
Posted on 7/31/16 at 9:54 am to
quote:


I just took my family 800 miles for me to go to grad school and I want to turn around and g back.


As someone who spent 6+ years in a PhD program, if you think it's a bad decision now you should leave because you're going to have a tough time finishing. Graduate school absolutely sucks the soul out of you and you have to be very dedicated to finishing to stick it out. Several friends of mine who were smarter and more determined than I was left after a few semesters not able to put up with the bullshite. On top of that, I have friends with PhDs in chemistry or physics struggling to find jobs outside of sales. Not exactly worth the years they gave up to take a job they could have gotten with their BS degrees.
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