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re: What are things to consider taking care of before you die?
Posted on 3/30/22 at 7:01 pm to TheOcean
Posted on 3/30/22 at 7:01 pm to TheOcean
quote:
Probate. Probate with a will just means you died testate. Often times it ends up being the same result with a will or no will (all to kids).
Not so much disagreeing with you, as you did say that it depends on the state. But I’m currently acting as an executor for my uncle’s estate. Had he not had a will, the results and process would have been VERY different in my state (VA). He and the “person” that he married late in life did not have children together. But the reason the “person” (can you feel the love here?) and her greedy weasel of a brother were so upset about me finding the will, and even lied about there being a will, is because she would have benefited greatly from him being declared intestate.
So in VA, at least, I would certainly advise any citizen of the Commonwealth to have a well prepared will… and keep it updated.
The court, in our case, has had only a supervisory role. And the court filing fees, etc. have been minimal. As executor, I have done ALL of the heavy lifting. Considering my time and the stress, the compensation is minimal (apart from expenses). Which leads me to another point: whoever a person names as executor, have some grace and make sure that they are prepared and willing to take on this onerous task. In addition to the pain of losing a loved one, this is a freakin’ job in itself!
1
Posted on 3/30/22 at 8:47 pm to Jag_Warrior
That's why I said often and not all. Yes, whenever there's a second marriage the planning should definitely be done.
But husband and wife who want everything to go to their three kids equally? Having a will or not would not make a difference for the distributions.
But husband and wife who want everything to go to their three kids equally? Having a will or not would not make a difference for the distributions.
Posted on 3/30/22 at 10:02 pm to TheOcean
Well found out today in Louisiana will or not, everything goes through succession (probate?) due to Napoleanic code/law(?). This arse backwards state. 
(We happened to have an appointment with our financial people today and inquired. They also gave two suggestions of attorneys. One I think on general is a flake and the other a crackerjack but out of law school for only two years. I hate deciding these things.$
(We happened to have an appointment with our financial people today and inquired. They also gave two suggestions of attorneys. One I think on general is a flake and the other a crackerjack but out of law school for only two years. I hate deciding these things.$
This post was edited on 3/30/22 at 10:06 pm
Posted on 3/30/22 at 10:20 pm to tiger91
quote:
What are things to consider taking care of before you die?
Morbid yes but we have a friend (early 60s) whose husband (72) died in his sleep Thursday night/Friday morning.
This is a great topic and I respect the courage to bring it to the table.
quote:
My husband and I are both 52 ... the sudden death of her husband just made me want to do things that I've been putting off BUT I'm not sure what all it should include. I know he'd need passwords, bank accounts, life insurance information, that type thing but what are some things that most people don't think to take care of that should be taken care of??
I know for me, I try my hardest to teach my wife HOW to do the things I do. It's not that she is not capable, she is. It's just that she doesn't dive into what I do.
So, if he earns income by trading or other means outside of a job, learn as much as you can because that could mean the difference between living comfortable and getting by.
I know my wife, every time will push this aside because she doesn't like to think about it.... but it's life.
quote:
What about vehicles .. house .. investments? Should any of that have a third name or designee on them?
A third name? Maybe your kids?
quote:
I also told him that we should take care of our burial plans now .. prepayment of sorts. I don't want to be deciding things in an emotional state.
It's good idea.
quote:
Thanks for pointing out any things that I/most people might not would have thought of .. it is so not fun to think about these things.
It's really hard to say not knowing you.
- What things of value does he have that you may not consider of value.
- What things does he want to leave specifically to other people
Here is something I think is important. Understand that not every death is sudden. With that said:
- have a bucket list. Even if something happens.... try to go do it.
- Find something special from you to him that will bring him joy in this event. You like looking at the stars together.... buy one. Name after something you love. Corny? Maybe. Helpful... you bet. Not just to him... but to you.
I look forward to reading the rest of the boards comments.
Posted on 3/31/22 at 5:49 am to tiger91
Have a Will. And update it as needed as life changes. Don’t just keep the first Will you made. The more detailed the better.
Have a book of accounts and logins (keep in a very safe place)
Update beneficiaries on life insurance policies, pensions, etc as needed.
Share end of life decisions with spouse. Create a living Will
Speak to a good estate planner
Talk of death sounds morbid and depressing, but knowing your spouse and kids will be handled should it happen takes a level of worry away.
Have a book of accounts and logins (keep in a very safe place)
Update beneficiaries on life insurance policies, pensions, etc as needed.
Share end of life decisions with spouse. Create a living Will
Speak to a good estate planner
Talk of death sounds morbid and depressing, but knowing your spouse and kids will be handled should it happen takes a level of worry away.
Posted on 3/31/22 at 7:05 am to tiger91
Combinations/keys to safes. Before my recent breast cancer diagnosis, my husband couldn't have told you where I keep the key to the document safe, and I had never asked the combinations to his gun safes.
Access to travel plans. We travel a lot, and I do all the planning pretty far in advance. I made a folder where I print out and keep all hotel/activity reservations, etc. He'll be able to determine from that what is prepaid, what is guaranteed with a credit card, what is non-refundable, what is cancellable, etc. I had a friend whose husband died unexpectedly. She knew they had prepaid beach rental but couldn't find the details in time, and then over the next few months was charged for some hotel reservations for his small business travel that she hadn't known to cancel.
Access to travel plans. We travel a lot, and I do all the planning pretty far in advance. I made a folder where I print out and keep all hotel/activity reservations, etc. He'll be able to determine from that what is prepaid, what is guaranteed with a credit card, what is non-refundable, what is cancellable, etc. I had a friend whose husband died unexpectedly. She knew they had prepaid beach rental but couldn't find the details in time, and then over the next few months was charged for some hotel reservations for his small business travel that she hadn't known to cancel.
Posted on 3/31/22 at 9:39 am to NCTigerFan
quote:
Access to travel plans
I'd actually thought of this!
I know the combo to his gun safe as it has cash in it as well BUT do need to tell him where the safety deposit box key is. Thanks.
Posted on 3/31/22 at 9:41 am to tigeraddict
Working on some of these ... the first will we made was gasp .. 27 years ago when we had only one kid. The youngest is 21 now and I'm glad that we never needed it for purposes of care for our children as we were awful and never updated it.
My husband is NOT the forward thinking kind in this regard .. and would love to put it off BUT I'm at a point where I'm more comfortable with doing this now than making emotional/irrational decisions later (if he dies before me).
My husband is NOT the forward thinking kind in this regard .. and would love to put it off BUT I'm at a point where I'm more comfortable with doing this now than making emotional/irrational decisions later (if he dies before me).
Posted on 3/31/22 at 9:44 am to Jjdoc
quote:
So, if he earns income by trading or other means outside of a job, learn as much as you can because that could mean the difference between living comfortable and getting by.
He plays guitar in a band as a fun hobby/money for new guitars kinda thing. Won't ever learn that BUT I definitely know who to call should I be left with a farm loan OR a crop in the field (my name is NOT Lucille lol).
Never even thought about what he'd want me to do with his music things .. none of our kids play so I doubt they'd want his guitars but he might have certain wishes.
Thanks Jj!
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