re: What % of your net take home pay is your mortgage payment?

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I’ve found that this percentage matters somewhat less the more you make

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Correct, and other factors play in as well. I have no vehicle note and unless my vehicle gets totaled in an accident, I should have it for another 10 years.

The rules of thumb are made for the average American who would be making financial decisions between paying a house note vs. investing into 401k or IRA for example.

Currently about 18% of our our take home pay which includes escrow.
We bought in 2023 at probably peak sellers market and high rates.
Was probably closer to 25-27% as we’ve refinanced last month down a whole percentage point and our income is steadily going up each year as well.

So the reason I ask is (And I started a thread on this around this time last year).

We're currently sitting at 10.9% of Take Home. 15 yr mortgage. 2.75%. Could pay the balance remaining in cash right now.

Our new house build will jump it to 28-30% (including taxes & insurance).

Max 401K and HSA. Also contribute to Self-employed 401K and back-door roths through side business.

Is 30% over-extending ourselves??

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Do you feel stretched every month?

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I don't feel stretched, although I haven't recovered much of my savings yet because this is my first house so I had to buy washer, dryer, refrigerator, master bedroom set, etc. All of the things you need to get when you're transitioning from renter life to homebuyer, In addition to putting a 15% downpayment on the house. Yes, I went under the standard recommendation of 20% because I was eager to get out of my apartment for numerous reasons and I wanted to ensure that I still had a good amount of money in my savings account after all of these appliances and furniture were purchased.

From this point forward, I'm expecting to recover my savings at a decent rate as I don't anticipate any more large purchases for awhile, other that my annual plan of doing a max contribution to my roth IRA. As another posted said, no 2 cases are the same and it definitely matters how much money you're making. It logically follows that if you make more money, you have more disposable income after your house payment is made.

The rule of thumb I used making this decision was actually based on Net pay instead of take home pay. The most common recommendation I saw when watching videos from financial gurus is you shouldn't exceed 25 to 30% of your NET pay, which I definitely meet that guidance.

While that concept didn't make sense to me at first, it makes sense when you consider that if you have a typical career, you are paying for health insurance, other benefits, 401k investments, etc. out of your earned Net pay. You want to make sure that you are still able to utilize these benefits and not have a house payment forcing you to choose between the house and 401k. That is why I did the net pay comparison rather than takehome.

To maybe more simply answer your question, I have not felt one ounce of buyer's remorse since purchasing this house, but I planned it out and I did the math. I assume that most cases of buyer's remorse are due to feeling house poor.