Watched Charlie’s Angels (2019) Last Night

flip the tv over to ME TV channel and rinse that image out of your head

Once upon a time there was a tavern.....

quote:

---

Farrah was perfection.

---

dies the same day as Michael Jackson and got way overlooked

You are the definition of insanity. You knew it was bad yet you still watched it.

quote:

---

the 2000 abomination

---

frick you.

Cameron Diaz Dancing Scene on YouTube

quote:

---

Farrah was perfection.

---

Yes, and it appears that it was chilly that day.

quote:

---

can you explain it for those of us who will never watch it (me)

---

Takes itself more seriously than the Barrymore Diaz Chinese Chick ones.

Skinny girls kicking the shite out of hundreds of armed dudes over and over. They never struggle. Girl who is super smart at science and engineering realizes a new tech is going to be used as a weapon so they gotta get it away from bad guys. No skin. Most you get is Kristen Stewart appearing in booty shorts for about 5 seconds. It’s like a porn but with no sex or nudity.

Really, really annoying Elizabeth Banks is Bosley. She’s preachy and completely unbelievable as a badass supervisor. Lots of glitz and glam. There’s about 10 seconds of pause to mourn their trainer Djimon Honsu who was shot and killed and serves as the meaningful loss only you hardly know him and his character is wafer thin so you don’t really feel anything when he dies but you are supposed to feel the gravity of the loss when they pause 10 seconds to acknowledge his passing.

These girls always seem to disarm the bad guys of their guns then proceed to punch and kick the shite out of them until they are unconscious. Repeat 500x.

Patrick Stewart is former Bosley turned bad guy who is upset at being passed over for Charlie. He could have done so much more but his character is so minor, undeveloped, and glossed over that he’s wasted in the role.

There’s a guy they tried to make like Hammer in Iron Man...supposedly smart businessman but also a comic relief idiot who in his ambition gets in over his head with bad guys. He’s awful and unfunny though. He says in a hysterical voice “why does this keep happening!” when bad guys die at his party.

Tortured, awful dialogue. I don’t like sand quality dialogue. Kristen Stewart exhibits the most range and expression in the movie, which should tell you everything.

Finally, a mention that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was an Angel who jumped out of planes.

quote:

---

Really, really annoying Elizabeth Banks is Bosley. She’s preachy and completely unbelievable as a badass supervisor. Lots of glitz and glam. 

---

Your whole breakdown reads like someone who watched a YouTube tard complain about the movie instead of actually watching it. I would by no means accuse this movie of being any good, but how is Banks's character "preachy"? She is, of course, not; you're conflating your perception of a celebrity's personality with her character in a film. She's so not-preachy about her ideals that the audience spends most of the time wondering whether or not she's a villain. And the taking itself more seriously that the 2000 version is just false. The stupid jokes, like the Ginsberg one you mentioned, are only serious if you, the viewer, have decided you will interpret the very clear campiness as serious.

"Lots of glitz and glam"? Who in the Sam hell do you think this movie was made for? Do you think the previous iterations of this IP had no glitz and glam? Farrah was not glamorous? And this complaint one paragraph after complaining about the lack of skin.

So, you hated something you wanted to hate, assuming that thing you hated was constructed with you in mind? And that thing was also a flop? How brave, bro. I'm surprised you haven't started even more threads about it.

You could, like, avoid movies made for teenage girls, since you can probably assume the venn diagram of shared interests isn't significant.

Did you also hate the Goosebumps movie? I mean, where was the skin, right? What about Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules? Stop pushing your anti-bully agenda on me, kid libtards. Maybe you'll watch Netflix's The Kissing Booth 2 next? Let us know about the lack of boobs that definitely should have been included while complaining about how the romantic comedy lead shouldn't be a girl. Can't wait.

quote:

---

Your whole breakdown reads like someone who watched a YouTube tard complain about the movie instead of actually watching it. I would by no means accuse this movie of being any good, but how is Banks's character "preachy"? She is, of course, not; you're conflating your perception of a celebrity's personality with her character in a film. She's so not-preachy about her ideals that the audience spends most of the time wondering whether or not she's a villain. And the taking itself more seriously that the 2000 version is just false. The stupid jokes, like the Ginsberg one you mentioned, are only serious if you, the viewer, have decided you will interpret the very clear campiness as serious. "Lots of glitz and glam"? Who in the Sam hell do you think this movie was made for? Do you think the previous iterations of this IP had no glitz and glam? Farrah was not glamorous? And this complaint one paragraph after complaining about the lack of skin. So, you hated something you wanted to hate, assuming that thing you hated was constructed with you in mind? And that thing was also a flop? How brave, bro. I'm surprised you haven't started even more threads about it. You could, like, avoid movies made for teenage girls, since you can probably assume the venn diagram of shared interests isn't significant. Did you also hate the Goosebumps movie? I mean, where was the skin, right? What about Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules? Stop pushing your anti-bully agenda on me, kid libtards. Maybe you'll watch Netflix's The Kissing Booth 2 next? Let us know about the lack of boobs that definitely should have been included while complaining about how the romantic comedy lead shouldn't be a girl. Can't wait.

---

Okay.

I didn’t want to see it but my wife did. It was pretty bad.

Banks was indeed bad in this role. I’ve got no hate for her other than her dumb comments about why it tanked but she actually made the movie worse which is sad because I like her in most things.

When the guy asked for consent to touch her to fix the one chick’s back or whatever was the most eye rolling things I’ve seen in film this year.