re: OT Dads of Marrying-Aged Daughters - How much do you have stocked away for the big day?

Wedding dress $1000 or less
Church and preacher $500 or less
Reception dinner $200
Cake and decorations $500

Country wedding $2500 to $5000

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The average wedding cost $44,000 in 2018.

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Yeah, maybe the average OT wedding.

According to these guys, the average wedding cost increased from $27K in 2017 to $44K in 2018.

Obviously given a >60% cost increase, someone is working with skewed samples or playing with funny numbers. In running those numbers, they do toss in costs of everything from rings to the Honeymoon which adds to the number..

Tree Fiffy

I’m getting married later this year and we did as best we could to keep costs reasonable...ring and honeymoon excluded, we are projected to be about $26,000 all in for 150-170 folks but hoping we come in under that. We are doing 1/3 each between us, my parents, and my in-laws so I’m very fortunate. Doesn’t seem like it adds up but all the small stuff does.

Wedding dress was $1k. Venue was a little over $12000 alone (includes setup, tables and chairs, linens and plates, DJ) and that is in a suburb outside of Houston...couldn’t afford inside loop but need close enough to civilization so locals don’t feel the need to leave super early to get home at reasonable hour and also have hotels in the area for out of towners from BR. Most venues force you to buy an alcohol package through them but this one let’s you BYOB so we are going the Costco/Specs route for $1k or so. However, a security cop and two bartenders are $800 total. Food is pricier than you’d think for a trustworthy caterer and so are flowers (we are going through HEB blooms). Cakes are pricey. We are doing a rehearsal brunch the morning of the wedding (forget tradition/bad luck) so we are saving there as well.

The real sham in all of this is the $3k photographer....

All that said, I think we are doing well.

I have two daughters, one 14 and one 5. I'd give them the world, but 40k on a wedding is utterly ridiculous. I think 70'ish a head is fair for the reception and up to 150 people. Throw in the flowers and whatnot's and I'm all in for 15k give or take. If either come to me wanting money for a 20+ crew bridal party and 300 head reception, I'd suggest to them to pony up the difference.

Just how much ROI does the money dance at the end provide?

Asking for a friend.

Is 40K a lot of money?

I would give son/daughter 40K for a home down payment and skip the expensive wedding.

We have have been to several weddings that cost $35,000 +.

One was a doctor's daughter and it was probably closer to a $100k based on the # of people attending, the food(great food), and the venue. We were friends of the groom's family.

One was an O&G executive, old friend from college, and he spent ~$40k.

The bride's mom at another one saved for it and she told me she could have bought a new car for what the wedding cost so I'm estimating about $35k. The mom was a school teacher.

All of those had about 200 guest. We've been to other ones that probably cost $20,000+ and the parents are not wealthy. The various expenses just add up quickly.

The movies Father of the Bride (one with Spencer Tracy and one with Steve Martin as the bride's father) are pretty realistic despite being comedies.

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I'm starting to think I'm undercharging wedding ceremony music at $350/wedding.

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If I were you I would price my services based on who the client is. Our daughter got married at the court house, just like her mom & dad so I wouldn't hire you but $350 is chump change for that doctor.

Also, the grooms parents normally pay for the rehearsal dinner. And these days if there are guest from out of town they are invited to the rehearsal dinner even if they are not in the wedding. Found that out when our youngest son got married a few years ago.