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You ever wanted just one more conversation with somebody

Posted on 5/8/19 at 3:33 am
Posted by MasterAbe1
Member since Oct 2016
6528 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 3:33 am
Probably not the best place to ask for advice or to talk about problems, but I had a very close friend take his life in February of this year. This is the first death I’ve experienced with somebody who was dear to my heart (I’m 20 so thankfully I can say I’ve been blessed in that aspect), but he was a guy who taught me more then I had learned in 19 years of living. He took his life and I still feel guilt everyday that I didn’t reach out more and notice potential warning signs that were there.. just felt like there was a lot I still needed to tell him. ATW (his initials) left me way too early at the age of 22, and I still don’t know the right steps to take.


TLDR; how do I start making steps towards healing and being able to better handle these situations as life goes on... it’s tough man. Fly high Shepherd Weeks, I love you. (Inside thing between me and him, he definitely would’ve ended up an OT baller)
Posted by Shiftyplus1
Regret nothing that made you smile
Member since Oct 2005
14240 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 3:42 am to
Honestly, go to a shrink and pour your heart out. Tell them everything you would want to say if you had one more conversation left. Spilling your guts to a complete stranger is incredibly therapeutic.
Posted by dbuchanon
Member since Nov 2014
21021 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 3:49 am to
quote:

I still don’t know the right steps to take.

Just remember the time you spent together and let time take its course.
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
37481 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 3:59 am to
My dad. Our last conversation was about a stupid youtube video that he thought I would find funny. I did find it funny but had I known...
Posted by Commander Data
Baton Rouge, La
Member since Dec 2016
7291 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 4:04 am to
Almost all of us can sympathize. I would cut off a finger to talk to my dad one more time.
Posted by VictoryHill
Watson, LA
Member since Nov 2013
3253 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 4:07 am to
My maternal grandparents. I had lived with them a good portion of my life and they saw me through serious depressive episodes. Truly felt like they were my only friends at times. I'd stay in my room for days at a time and every day one of them would knock on my door begging me to come eat with them.

My grandma dropped dead right in front of me at her house right before my first semester at LSU. Her last words were, "I'm dizzy, babe." She just fell back and that was it.

During my last semester at LSU, I was working at the Regions on College Drive. I went back home to Metairie about once or twice a month when I could swing it. I had called him on a Friday night and told him I was coming in and I was going to stop by at his house with my girl and take him out to eat as soon as I got off work Saturday. Last words to him were, "I love you." Saturday morning comes around and my mom calls me right when I get to work. She's sobbing and lets me know he passed. I was the last person to speak with both of them and I'd do anything to have a meal with my grandparents today.

In my experience, I've found that appreciating the people who are still here is the best way to heal. I've grown much closer to my parents and my good friends. It's not until you lose someone close to you that you really appreciate life and begin to transition to who you really are.

This post was edited on 5/8/19 at 4:15 am
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
19954 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 4:38 am to
Absolutely nothing you could have done unless you’ve seen it before. Suicide leaves us all with all questions and no answers. There will never be, and you’ll have to make peace with that in your own way.


Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59129 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 4:41 am to
Suicide is so hard for those who are left behind. You can't feel guilty, I know it's difficult but you can't blame yourself.

I wish I had magical words to make you feel better or could tell you exactly what to do. I don't know where it was, but I once heard grief described as a box with a ball inside. The ball starts out as big as the box and every time it hits the edge of the box you'll feel a wave of grief. Then every day that ball gets slightly smaller eventually it starts hitting the wall less and less, but it's still there. It won't ever go completely away but it will hit you less and less. That made a lot of sense to le and has been true in my grief.

You can still talk to him. Yes, obviously not in person. If you are struggling just talk to him. It may help just getting the words out.

Condolences on your loss.
Posted by TheRustyShackleford
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2017
133 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 7:05 am to
quote:

stupid youtube video


What was it?
Posted by Gimalphabo
Fourchon
Member since Sep 2017
37 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 7:33 am to
Absolutely. Both of my parents and all of my grandparents. I miss them terribly.
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
155416 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 7:59 am to
quote:

My maternal grandparents. I had lived with them a good portion of my life and they saw me through serious depressive episodes. Truly felt like they were my only friends at times. I'd stay in my room for days at a time and every day one of them would knock on my door begging me to come eat with them.

My grandma dropped dead right in front of me at her house right before my first semester at LSU. Her last words were, "I'm dizzy, babe." She just fell back and that was it.

During my last semester at LSU, I was working at the Regions on College Drive. I went back home to Metairie about once or twice a month when I could swing it. I had called him on a Friday night and told him I was coming in and I was going to stop by at his house with my girl and take him out to eat as soon as I got off work Saturday. Last words to him were, "I love you." Saturday morning comes around and my mom calls me right when I get to work. She's sobbing and lets me know he passed. I was the last person to speak with both of them and I'd do anything to have a meal with my grandparents today.

In my experience, I've found that appreciating the people who are still here is the best way to heal. I've grown much closer to my parents and my good friends. It's not until you lose someone close to you that you really appreciate life and begin to transition to who you really are.

That's a great story, and very good advice. It's awesome that you were able to turn such terrible things into a positive. And although it's awful that you lost your grandfather the day you were supposed to meet up with him, it's cool that you were the last person to speak with him and that you told him you loved him. That one got me in the feels. I can only hope that on my last day (whether that be today or 50 years from now) I got to hear that from someone I loved.
Posted by Honest Tune
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
19285 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 8:06 am to
A friend of mine passed away on this day in 2007, car wreck leaving The Chimes late night, another person was driving the car drunk. His last words to me were "answer your phone fricker..." And here I am wishing it would ring one more time..
Posted by MSTiger33
Member since Oct 2007
21436 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 8:08 am to
My dad. He was going downhill this year and I had a flight back to LA to see him one last time and have that final good bye talk. He died a week before I was able to get home. Last time I talked to him, he said he was excited to see me.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
72722 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 8:09 am to
Sorry for your loss.

Consider seeking professional counseling.
Posted by Chimlim
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Jul 2005
17772 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 8:11 am to
My grandfather recently passed and left me inheritance money. I would give up every dime of that money to have one more conversation with him.
Posted by JohnDoe00
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2019
910 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 8:44 am to
I would do anything to speak to my Dad again. Remembering the last phone conversation we had (I was 14) it is clear he was struggling internally. He took his life a couple days later. I imagine if I would've been older I could've seen the signs and changed the outcome.

Its been a struggle through the years, but now I do not miss an opportunity to share a story about him, or talk about him with friends and family. Damn I miss him.
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
21596 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 9:06 am to
One of my best friends died when he was 18, and it still hurts some 30+ years later. He was an only child, and I still see his parents from time to time.

Life goes on, and loss is part of life. Be thankful for the time you had with your friend. Find out what it will take for you to make peace with your loss. Learn from it, grieve and grow. That's about the best any of us can do.
Posted by MasterAbe1
Member since Oct 2016
6528 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 9:24 am to
Incredibly sorry for your lost Honest... that’s tough. If you ever need somebody to pour your heart out, I’ll gladly send you my email. Stay strong brother
Posted by chinhoyang
Member since Jun 2011
25568 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 9:26 am to
My mom and my dad

My paternal grandfather who I only met one time that I remember



Posted by Spasweezy
Unfortunately, Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
7173 posts
Posted on 5/8/19 at 9:58 am to
My dad.
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