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Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:07 pm to Jax-Tiger
Paraphrasing:
Me and the wife are quitting smoking so we said only after sex. I'm down to one a year, she smokes a pack a week.
Me and the wife are quitting smoking so we said only after sex. I'm down to one a year, she smokes a pack a week.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:20 pm to Garfield
My wife is so fat. One time I ran into her with the car. She said, why didn't you go around me? I said I didn't think I had enough gas.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:36 pm to Jax-Tiger
"I was so ugly the dog would close his eyes before humping my leg."
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:38 pm to Jax-Tiger
I tell ya, I didn't know nuthin about sex growing up. By the time I was 18, I had sex once and VD twice!
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:44 pm to Jax-Tiger
My wife told me she wanted to make love in the back seat.
She made me drive.
She made me drive.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:46 pm to Jax-Tiger
"Man, I had to wear my cousin's hand-me-downs ; and she wasn't even my size!"
Posted on 5/11/17 at 9:49 pm to Jax-Tiger
Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 10:00 pm to Jax-Tiger
I wish my son's room was as clean as his pot.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 10:33 pm to Jax-Tiger
I found out that this guy was sleeping with my wife so I decided to confront him.
I said, "Hey buddy, who told you that you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "EVERYBODY!!!"
I said, "Hey buddy, who told you that you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "EVERYBODY!!!"
This post was edited on 5/11/17 at 10:35 pm
Posted on 5/11/17 at 11:25 pm to MMauler
Some people ask, are you a legs man, are you a breast man, are you an arse man. I must be an arse man. I was walking down the street and a guy hollers out to me "you're an arse man".
Posted on 5/11/17 at 11:26 pm to Jax-Tiger
Seriously, last year, I visited his grave. His epitaph reads "There goes the neighborhood".
Posted on 5/12/17 at 12:17 am to Jax-Tiger
Buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup.
Call me when you got no class.
Easy money has a shite load of good quotes. Not one of his best known movies.
Call me when you got no class.
Easy money has a shite load of good quotes. Not one of his best known movies.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 7:40 am to Jax-Tiger
"Hey everyone, the mayor of New Orleans is a bitch!"
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:20 am to Jax-Tiger
My wife likes to smoke after sex, I've had the same pack for months, she smokes 3 packs a day.
I told my son one day you will have kids of your own, he said so will you.
My daughter has been picked up so much, she started to grow handles.
I told my son one day you will have kids of your own, he said so will you.
My daughter has been picked up so much, she started to grow handles.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:27 am to 610man
My doctor has been busy lately, he said recently he's had 6 cases of VD, but he's alright now.
One time this girl told me to come over no one's home, I went over, no one was home.
One time this girl told me to come over no one's home, I went over, no one was home.
This post was edited on 5/12/17 at 8:29 am
Posted on 5/12/17 at 9:07 am to Jax-Tiger
"Know hOw I make my wife scream during sex?
I wipe my dick on the drapes"
I wipe my dick on the drapes"
Posted on 5/12/17 at 9:15 am to Jax-Tiger
Want to make $20 the hard way?
Posted on 5/12/17 at 9:19 am to Tortious
Henny Youngman, but thanks for playing.
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