Weekend Dating Advice - Primal vs. Transactional Intercourse

This weekend's installment of Weekend Dating Advice brings us to the topic of the 2 types of intercourse: Primal Sex and Transactional Sex.


Primal Sex is intercourse based on the primal instincts of attraction, passion and lust. When the average person thinks of sex, this is what they think of. For example the sex in a bar bathroom 10 minutes after meeting a woman, that's primal sex.

Transactional Sex - Only women are capable of having transactional sex. Transactional sex is when a woman has sex with a man she is not attracted to, but chooses to have sex with him anyway. The main question a woman who has transactional sex asks herself - "What do I have to gain from having sex with him?". If she stands to gain in some form, she will go through with it. Therefore all of her moves and thoughts are calculated.

Classic examples of transactional sex include:

-A prostitute/escort

-A actress who fricks a producer to get a role.

-Her boyfriend/husband has been good to her, so she has the required duty/maintenance sex every 4-6 weeks because she feels like she has to

-It's been a while since she has had sex with her boyfriend/husband, and she is sick of hearing him complain about it, so she has sex this time because its easier than fighting about it again.

-You are a nice guy with a big bank account, and she wants you to stick around and continuing to be a nice guy who invests time, money and gifts into her, so she feels like she has to muster up the will to frick you in order to keep the spigot flowing

Basically if a woman feels like she can personally gain from putting out, she will. However there are times she doesn't need to have sex and will not do so - because she is already getting what she needs from the man, so why engage in a sexual transaction for no reason? If a man is already investing time, money, gifts, and emotional support into her, why would she have sex with him? There is nothing to gain - she is already getting it. This is why I tell men to be the less invested party in the relationship.

When a woman has transactional sex she is never really into it. She can make herself have sex with a man even if she doesn't really want to and is not genuinely attracted. The sex will be vanilla, plain, boring. Think starfish sex. She spreads her legs and shows little emotion, just counting down the seconds until the man finishes. Men who have had both primal and transactional sex know the difference. Primal sex is passionate. Transactional sex, the woman has no passion and feels obligated.

No man should ever settle for transactional sex. Men who settle for transactional sex are getting a raw deal. Even worse is that most men negotiate with women for transactional sex scraps. They trade time, resources, good behavior, chores, and gifts in hopes that they get this occassional reward of sex - not just sex, but sex from a woman who doesn't really want to have sex with him. The basic rule of thumb is if the woman is imposing conditions on having sex or attaching strings, you will ultimately be getting boring transactional sex anyway, and its not worth the time or investment.

It's why I tell men to not divulge too many details with women, especially in terms of what you do for a living and how much money you make. The second she feels like she can gain from you and tap into your resources, she will switch up her sexual strategy on you from a primal one to a transactional one.

If you find yourself stuck in this transactional sex cycle you are no better than a dog begging for table scraps. The dog believes if he is the best dog he can be, he might get some table scraps every now and then. But never the whole enchilada. Same with men who are stuck in a laundry list of demands, conditions and behavioral requirements to get occassional table scraps of pity sex from a woman. By sticking with a woman in this category you are a loser and are basically giving up. You are better off having no sex at all than settling for pity transactional sex with a woman who is repulsed by you, that you are also jumping through hoops to get. You will do better to break it off, improve yourself and find a woman who actually wants you and one who isn't imposing conditions on access to it.