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Message
I was this close from being the worst person on the planet today.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:46 pm
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:46 pm
I received a call from an old casual business associate. After six months of disability he's down to his last $1000. He's about to lose his home. He sounds suicidal.I tried to encourage him and walk him through various options. I talked to Mrs Pimp about how we might help.
Then, as if today is my day to receive bad news another old friend informed me she just found out she has liver/brain cancer and has maybe a month to live. This time I hugged Mrs. Pimp. frick cancer. Mr's Pimp's Mom and best friend are both dealing with it (Mother is terminal).
It is against this backdrop of feeling sad and wanting to do something meaningful for my fellow man that I went to get my hair cut. As I was walking out I saw a morbidly obese young woman walking towards the Jenny Craig weight loss center. Everything inside me screamed '"Pimp-offer her encouragement, tell her she can lose that weight, tell her that a better, skinnier life is ahead, tell her you respect the fact that she is kicking this things arse", all kinds of positive do-gooder thoughts of encouragement flooded my head.
At the last moment I chickened out and just got in my car. Good thing too, because she walked right into The Jambalaya Shoppe next door to Jenny Craig. That would have been awkward.
Then, as if today is my day to receive bad news another old friend informed me she just found out she has liver/brain cancer and has maybe a month to live. This time I hugged Mrs. Pimp. frick cancer. Mr's Pimp's Mom and best friend are both dealing with it (Mother is terminal).
It is against this backdrop of feeling sad and wanting to do something meaningful for my fellow man that I went to get my hair cut. As I was walking out I saw a morbidly obese young woman walking towards the Jenny Craig weight loss center. Everything inside me screamed '"Pimp-offer her encouragement, tell her she can lose that weight, tell her that a better, skinnier life is ahead, tell her you respect the fact that she is kicking this things arse", all kinds of positive do-gooder thoughts of encouragement flooded my head.
At the last moment I chickened out and just got in my car. Good thing too, because she walked right into The Jambalaya Shoppe next door to Jenny Craig. That would have been awkward.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:48 pm to Lsupimp
When's your friends estate sale. Need some art for my foyer
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:48 pm to Lsupimp
Or maybe she would have realized that you're right, she does need to go to Jenny Craig instead of Jambalaya Shoppe, and you could have completely turned her life around for the better.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:48 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
He sounds suicidal.I tried to encourage him and walk him through various options.
To commit suicide??? You monster!
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:53 pm to Lsupimp
"Hey girl, you hungry?"
(Girl) "F*ck you"
"....I was talking to the horse"
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:53 pm to Lsupimp
I would rate you based on that story:
just below Hitler, and above Mao.
just below Hitler, and above Mao.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:55 pm to rmnldr
quote:
Mrs. Pimp
I used to share an office with her....true story
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:56 pm to jeffsdad
Hitler worse than Mao? No way.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:58 pm to Lsupimp
Yep you dodged a bullet.
On a similar note, my wife was making small talk with a woman in a restaurant one time and asked her when her baby was due. She wasn't pregnant.
Another time we were at a Christmas party and my wife told a woman that she didn't realize there was a tacky sweater contest. There wasn't.
She's got a gift.
In her defense though, that was one ugly arse sweater.
On a similar note, my wife was making small talk with a woman in a restaurant one time and asked her when her baby was due. She wasn't pregnant.
Another time we were at a Christmas party and my wife told a woman that she didn't realize there was a tacky sweater contest. There wasn't.
She's got a gift.
In her defense though, that was one ugly arse sweater.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:58 pm to rondo
Who is her celebrity look a like?
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:58 pm to rondo
We were talking about you and Bill the other day.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 12:59 pm to Lsupimp
I'll never forge the time I heard the UPS guy congratulating my admin on her pregnancy......oh how cringe worthy (shes not).
on your other things, prayers to all of them. really
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:01 pm to Lsupimp
same thing happened to me with a chic in front of the Babies R Us that's right next to that abortion clinic.....
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