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re: Cant stand this guy in my new GF's social circle

Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:18 am to
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
83159 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:18 am to
quote:

You're posting about this at 4 in the morning. Think about that. If your gf hasn't fricked him already, she's going to.


I am focused on the go-forward.

And no, he has no interest in talking to me - he only wants to talk to other women. I know everything about this guy b/c my GF talks about him all the time. I'm sure he has no interest in my MBA or does not care or could not name what I do for work.

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars? I'll make sure that next time we may meet them out that I'll look my best and have some intro lines to talk to other chicks with. If I put it out in the open it will make her more interested in him. If I ignore it than I'm miserable. I'm not really sure how best to handle this.
This post was edited on 11/25/14 at 1:35 pm
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
84056 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:23 am to
Well, if she talks about him, act disinterested. Change the subject to about her or the two of you. Personally, I'd just dump her.

quote:

I'll make sure that next time we may meet them out that I'll look my best and have some intro lines to talk to other chicks with.


Nm; you can't be serious

Posted by lsutothetop
TigerDroppings Elite
Member since Jul 2008
11323 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:27 am to
quote:

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars?

You talk to your girlfriend so she's talking to you instead of him. If she blows you off to talk to him then you bring up that she blew you off later - but you talk to her about you being blown off as the problem, not that she blew you off to talk to this guy. Your GF shouldn't be blowing you off regardless of who else is around to talk.

I don't see what talking to the other girls around is gonna do for you, though.
Posted by Enadious
formerly B5Lurker City of Central
Member since Aug 2004
17709 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:18 am to
quote:

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars?


I only read the first page, so let's take the bull by the horns and deal with what's bothering you.

You told us how you feel. Now it's time to tell her, and be direct, say what you mean, and don't back down.

Tell her it upsets you greatly/piss the hell out of when she brings him up all the time in conversations. Things like that don't happen in normal, healthy relationships. Tell her it pisses you off when she spends all the time at gatherings hanging out with him. Tell her you're not going to stand by the sideline, or be forced to make small talk with people you don't know/care to know. Tell her if she has a problem with that, you won't go and meet the group anymore.

It's time to draw a line in the sand. You aren't happy, and the relationship is destined to fail unless she sees your point and complies.

How do you think she would handle you fawning over another woman or speaking about her all the time?

Yeah, that wouldn't work at all I bet.

Good luck.
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
67023 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 7:21 am to
quote:

MessageCant stand this guy in my new GF's social circle

Posted by SirWinston   on 11/24 at 4:01 am

Guy definitely seems like a threat to me and is a complete a-hole. My GF worships him because they're been friends for ages and he's a professor in a field that she's passionate about (that's how they met). 

I know to "act alpha" and shite, but it's tough for me to appear cool in social situations with the guy because by definition when we meet up with him and his GF and his group it's automatically not going to be on my terms - he'll know everybody in the group and he's a regular at the bars we meet them at, and I'm the new guy who has no background or nothing to talk about. 

This dude is one of those people that has no problem talking about all the irons he has in the fire, all the side projects he's got going on, the people he socializes with, etc. So annoying. The thing that pisses me off is that I know for a fact that I make more money than him but my job just isn't that interesting. I only bring this up because it just adds to my frustration - like "I'm better than this dude - it's not like he's Tom Brady or Ben Affleck. WTF are my relatively strong social skills and situational schmoozing rendered to ineffective to others around the table when I'm in this rotten crowd?". 

Yes he's clearly in my head and I realize that's a problem. I think my GF knows that I'm not a fan, which makes it worse. Any suggestions or tips for how to handle this - I really don't want to keep hanging out with this dude.

This post was edited on 11/24 at 4:16 am

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Posted by TigerChief10  on 11/24 at 4:04 am toSirWinston

Start talking to his gf more

This post was edited on 11/24 at 4:07 am

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Posted by SirWinston   on 11/24 at 4:08 am toTigerChief10

I try but she's miserable that her BF is obviously flirting and having a great time schmoozing other women. I also try talking with other people in the setting but it just gets old. I know the textbook answer is to mingle and flirt with other women myself so I guess I just have to buck myself up and do that next time. 

I fricking hate these games though - I was way happier dating multiple women where I had the power and didn't have all my eggs in one basket. I feel like I cuckolded myself by sticking only with this chick and now that she has me she can pull shite like this. She'd have never acted this way before we went exclusive b/c she was still trying to win me over.


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Posted by euquol  on 11/24 at 4:13 am toSirWinston

You have absolutely nothing in common with her friend? I mean I think most people have at least one thing in common with another person, no matter how small. 

Or is it that you just do not like him and do not want to find something in common?


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Posted by SabiDojo  on 11/24 at 4:13 am toSirWinston

You're posting about this at 4 in the morning. Think about that. If your gf hasn't fricked him already, she's going to. 


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Posted by euquol  on 11/24 at 4:14 am toeuquol

Nevermind scratch all that


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Posted by SabiDojo  on 11/24 at 4:16 am toSirWinston

quote:
She'd have never acted this way before we went exclusive b/c she was still trying to win me over.



She is testing boundaries, dude. She's the cheating type.


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Posted by TrueTiger   on 11/24 at 4:16 am toSirWinston

You could Dexter his arse. 


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Posted by BRgetthenet  on 11/24 at 4:17 am toSabiDojo

Yeah 

SirWinston prolly wouldn't mike gargling his cock a little his ownself.


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Posted by SirWinston   on 11/24 at 4:18 am toSabiDojo

quote:
You're posting about this at 4 in the morning. Think about that. If your gf hasn't fricked him already, she's going to.



I'm sure that she has fricked him in the past. I am focused on the go-forward. 

And no, he has no interest in talking to me - he only wants to talk to other women. I know everything about this guy b/c my GF talks about him all the time. I'm sure he has no interest in my MBA or does not care or could not name what I do for work. 

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars? I'll make sure that next time we may meet them out that I'll look my best and have some intro lines to talk to other chicks with. If I put it out in the open it will make her more interested in him. If I ignore it than I'm miserable. I'm not really sure how best to handle this.


Dude after reading this post, the obvious clear answer here is to dump the girl and move on with your life. They used to frick, he intimidates you, she talks to him all the time and about him when he's not around, the truth is brutal sometimes man, but you have to make good decisions.
Posted by monsterballads
Make LSU Great Again
Member since Jun 2013
29272 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 7:38 am to
quote:

I'm sure that she has fricked him in the past.


quote:

when she talks to him the entire time at the bars


this isn't going to end well for you IMO
Posted by BugAC
St. George
Member since Oct 2007
53089 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 1:43 pm to
quote:

'm sure he has no interest in my MBA or does not care or could not name what I do for work.


Then why are you with her? If a girl shows no interest in your job or other interests, or doesn't at least pretend to show interest, then she is not a keeper.
Posted by dcrews
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2011
30237 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 3:26 pm to
quote:

I know everything about this guy b/c my GF talks about him all the time


Realize the blatantly obvious, she likes this other guy. Tell her what's up and if she is difficult about it, walk your arse out the door.

Respect yourself and associate yourself with a woman who respects you. Your current gf clearly does not.
Posted by MottLaneKid
Gonzales
Member since Apr 2012
4543 posts
Posted on 11/25/14 at 5:29 pm to
Either your girlfriend is into you or she isn't. Being jealous or fearful if another man's intentions is just going to play into that egotistical prude's hands.

Focus on making her happy. Don't give her an excuse to cheat on you.
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