re: What is your most memorable co-worker quitting story?

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We all just saw a mini palm tree weaving it's way through the cubicles.

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PUBLIC WORKS FUN. Most of these are involuntary.

1. Guy said something to the effect of "Imma steal you" to another employee in an argument. Ghetto speak for kill or beat da fuk up or something similar. Police escorted him out.

2. Guy "A" attempts to bite guy "B" because guy "A" said he was going to bang guy "B"'s whore that he was paying for (not those exact words, but you get the point), a footrace to the nearest open work truck occurred, and one guy locks the door while calling my boss on the radio "XXX, YYY, ANYBODY HELP ME" while this other fricking retard was jabbing a screwdriver straight into the door window. Both were terminated.

3. Guy shows up high as a kite on hydrocodone (lortab?), almost has a head-on collision with some random person, careless equipment operation, and general disregard for safety. Failed a drug test. He quit instead of going to counseling.

4. Guy shows up high all reefer madness and shite, gets into an argument with coworker about why he didn't pay the power bill for last month and he owes him $200 (da fuq, i pay like 50 a month). Punch thrown, missed target. Boss witnessed, employment terminated.

5. Homosexual encounter of the third kind occurred in a city vehicle. Both parties quit out of shame

6. Guy gets picked up on a warrant for murder that he didn't know happened because he was high on shrooms.

7. Old man has heart attack first day on job due to not being fit for manual labor. Hospital visit, quit same day.

8. Guy comes in for several weeks and decides we are doing prisoner work, calls up the mayor, asks to be compensated until the end of the pay period because he is quitting today and he put more than his fair share into the workload. No dice.


There's probably some I'm forgetting, but these are all within the last 5 years.

Years ago one of our troopers walked in on his last day (nobody knew he was retiring), took off his uniform and left in his underwear.

Not about a co-worker, but about my last day with AT&T.

Years ago I was an installation and repair technician for AT&T (SBC at that time) in San Diego. I had given a month's notice that I was resigning to move back to Tennessee.

On my last day, about an hour before my shift was up, I got a page from dispatch. I called in to see what they needed.

Now, dispatch loved me, because I had a reputation for smoothing over irate customers and for taking last minute tickets; this was big for them, because business tickets always had a priority.


So I call in, and the dispatcher was sounding all apologetic as she tells me, "Gee, we know it's your last day and you only have about an hour left on the clock, but we've got a business trouble ticket that really, really needs to get taken care of. Can you run over real quick and look at it?"

Sure, says I (mentally sighing and thinking, "fricking really? On my last day?").

The dispatch ladies, God love 'em, had sat on this ticket all day just to give it to me. The line that was out was at Cheetah's.

So my very last assignment for the phone company was fixing a phone line in the dressing room of a nudie bar.

When we went through layoffs with Chesapeake Energy, one dude hid in the bathroom from just past 8 AM to about 3 PM, when security finally found him.

i had a co-worker that got fired. She showed up to work in her underwear (OT 5, IRL 6.5), and was screaming and throwing stuff. 911 was called, and she was institutionalized and terminated.

she had been wanting to quit for a while.

In high school, I was an uber douche. I was working at Winn-Dixie in Plaquemine. I show up, sit in the back eating a whole bunch of fruit.

Walk over to seafood and eat about 5lbs of crawfish.

Finish off by eating a few donuts from the bakery. And polished off with a smooth glass of milk.

Waved to the manager and said I quit. Never went back.