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Message
Husband or wife control the finances?
Posted on 3/27/12 at 9:45 am
Posted on 3/27/12 at 9:45 am
In my case, I'm the breadwinner. We are newly weds and are trying to figure this out. Is there a rhyme or reason to it? or just personal preference?
12
Posted on 3/27/12 at 9:49 am to Bovina20
Why not both? Hopefully people talked and discussed their financial goals/philosophy, etc in great detail before marriage and are on the same page.
My wife and I used a shared checking account from day one. Once a week or so we review upcomming bills and always discuss any big purchases we are considering.
Never had problem.
My wife and I used a shared checking account from day one. Once a week or so we review upcomming bills and always discuss any big purchases we are considering.
Never had problem.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:01 am to Bovina20
My wife and I since day 1 said we would never, or try to never, fight about money and we have been pretty successful 4 years in. Like marriage, in general, communication is the key. Discuss big purchases, spending habits, etc. and never try to hide anything.
In saying that, we have seperate accounts that both of us are linked too. Just our preference seeing as we are both independent people. It helps to that we are both savers and want the same things in life.
In saying that, we have seperate accounts that both of us are linked too. Just our preference seeing as we are both independent people. It helps to that we are both savers and want the same things in life.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:11 am to OnTheBrink
We have separate accounts, but at the same bank. No issues either, and we are open about everything anyway, except im a saver and she's a spender. We complete each other ha
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:12 am to Bovina20
My wife handles all our personal finances and I take care of our business. It works out because both would be too much for me.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:15 am to yellowfin
There was a 6 page shitshow on this about a month ago, centered around seperate checking accounts.
No one should "control" the finances, that should be a two way street. You should both set a budget that you agree upon and then both follow it.
No one should "control" the finances, that should be a two way street. You should both set a budget that you agree upon and then both follow it.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:27 am to TheHiddenFlask
when I say "controls" it means she pays the bills
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:34 am to Bovina20
My wife and i have a shared account and both take care of finances
we have a "budget date" once a month where we sit down, go over our budget from last month and find way to improve for the next month and discuss upcoming bills that we're expecting and ways to save more for future goals
like its stated above, communication is key
my parents used to fight all the time about money because they didnt communicate about it, it wasnt until i was older that they finally started discussing it with each other and their marriage has gotten 10 times better
ETA: its said that the most common things couples fight about are 1)Money 2) Sex & 3)In-Laws
communication can help with all of those... except maybe in laws
i think there should be a 4th for me tho: sideseat driving
we have a "budget date" once a month where we sit down, go over our budget from last month and find way to improve for the next month and discuss upcoming bills that we're expecting and ways to save more for future goals
like its stated above, communication is key
my parents used to fight all the time about money because they didnt communicate about it, it wasnt until i was older that they finally started discussing it with each other and their marriage has gotten 10 times better
ETA: its said that the most common things couples fight about are 1)Money 2) Sex & 3)In-Laws
communication can help with all of those... except maybe in laws
i think there should be a 4th for me tho: sideseat driving
This post was edited on 3/27/12 at 10:36 am
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:39 am to Ash Williams
my wife just works and deposits checks. i let her know how much money we have and we discuss big purchases. besides that she has no interest in finances.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:50 am to Bovina20
I allowed Wife No. 1 to control finances. Worst mistake I ever made. We never had any savings. When we divorced I did not change my spending habits at all and I was accumulating savings at a rapid pace. I then realized that she was spending both our salaries on herself.
I told Wife No. 2 when we were dating that I would control the money. She said "Great. I hate dealing with money."
I said "I'll give you quarterly reports on our CDs, checking/savings and stocks."
Her: "I really don't want to know any of that."
We're at 18 years of wedded bliss.
I told Wife No. 2 when we were dating that I would control the money. She said "Great. I hate dealing with money."
I said "I'll give you quarterly reports on our CDs, checking/savings and stocks."
Her: "I really don't want to know any of that."
We're at 18 years of wedded bliss.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 10:54 am to TheHiddenFlask
quote:
No one should "control" the finances,
That's for normal people. Some people have addictions and should not be involved in dual control of money. My first wife always loaded up 6 large garbage bags of old clothes for me to take to Goodwill twice a year. That seemed like a lot of clothes for 6 months. One day I opened the bags. I found over $3,000 worth of women's clothes with the price tags still on them.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 11:19 am to Zach
Zach, her having "no interest" is fool's gold in my opinion. I am not judging your relationship, I'm sure it's great. However, if you pre-decease her, she'll likely have some big time $ issues. I see that alot with surviving spouses. Maybe mildly encourage her at least to be open to those quarterly updates. She'll only be helping herself. That said, maybe she's much more aware than she lets on. Females are sneaky that way.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 11:37 am to Bovina20
One checking
All savings accounts and loans are joint
We do budgeting and planning together. But as far as day to fin management (ie paying bills, moving money around) I do that.
We've actually passed the fin mgmt job back and forth over the years, mainly based on who was busier with work/life. We both have ways of doing things that aren't very compatible, so it kind of has to be a one person job.
All savings accounts and loans are joint
We do budgeting and planning together. But as far as day to fin management (ie paying bills, moving money around) I do that.
We've actually passed the fin mgmt job back and forth over the years, mainly based on who was busier with work/life. We both have ways of doing things that aren't very compatible, so it kind of has to be a one person job.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 11:47 am to Bovina20
Do everything electronically. Don't be dumbasses with your money. No I in team mentality. Congrats.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 11:48 am to ZereauxSum
Do what works for you. We had a joint account only for the first 5-6 years and it nearly had me out the door. My wife told me if I got a separate account she was leaving. I called her bluff and to this day, she will tell you splitting our money up is the best thing we ever did for our marriage. We kept the joint account for bills, she is the beneficiary on my accounts and we rarely fight over money any more.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 12:07 pm to iknowmorethanyou
quote:
Zach, her having "no interest" is fool's gold in my opinion. I am not judging your relationship, I'm sure it's great. However, if you pre-decease her, she'll likely have some big time $ issues. I see that alot with surviving spouses. Maybe mildly encourage her at least to be open to those quarterly updates. She'll only be helping herself. That said, maybe she's much more aware than she lets on. Females are sneaky that way.
Her disinterest is genuine. She is REALLY bad with money. When I met her she had 20K on a Visa card and was paying the minimum each month because she bought a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse with no down payment and put it on her Visa card.
I am sure she will outlive me by 20 years and won't have a clue. But I've already got a backup plan upon my demise. My son will be her financial adviser. He's a home boy and will live in this area forever and he's very good with money and knows all about my finances. He and his wife, who is also good with finances, will be her caretakers.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 2:08 pm to Bovina20
As stated already...Communication is key.
Wife and I have a joint checking account and sepearte accounts as well. We also each have a savings account.
But... we always know what financial shape we are in as a family.
Wife and I have a joint checking account and sepearte accounts as well. We also each have a savings account.
But... we always know what financial shape we are in as a family.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 3:37 pm to yellowfin
quote:
My wife handles all our personal finances and I take care of our business. It works out because both would be too much for me.
Same, she does all of the every day stuff, I handle big picture finance stuff.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 8:37 pm to barry
I develop the strategic plan for our household. My wife pays some of the bills and I pay some of the bills. We have a monthly budget "meeting" to go over monthly expenses.
Works for us.
Works for us.
Posted on 3/27/12 at 9:21 pm to Bovina20
I've asked my mom about how she and my dad control finances, and my dad has his own business/self-employed. It's a dual effort and they see their CPA and financial advisor a lot.
I also asked my mom that when I get married that should my husband and I have separate money/bank accounts and she said that when couples get married that it's a two-way street/need to have a joint account. A good percentage of marriages end in divorce because of money. I'm a firm believer in not being a gold digging ho and having my job/independence. And these nosy soccer moms who look down on 'career moms' who spend time with kids need to mind their own damn business. /endrant
My plan is to workworkwork as much as I can and savesavesave before I have children. And ideally work some time in the office and some time at home via the computer so that I can be available for my family.
I'm more financially in-the-know than my SO is since I'm studying Accounting/Internal Auditing at LSU. I would think that we'd both discuss our finances/our views on money and meet with a Financial Planner/Advisor and CPA before we marry and set up our short term and long term financial goals. I'd say we're both going to have similar earning power/income but my SO will have some debt and I will have zero.
I also asked my mom that when I get married that should my husband and I have separate money/bank accounts and she said that when couples get married that it's a two-way street/need to have a joint account. A good percentage of marriages end in divorce because of money. I'm a firm believer in not being a gold digging ho and having my job/independence. And these nosy soccer moms who look down on 'career moms' who spend time with kids need to mind their own damn business. /endrant
My plan is to workworkwork as much as I can and savesavesave before I have children. And ideally work some time in the office and some time at home via the computer so that I can be available for my family.
I'm more financially in-the-know than my SO is since I'm studying Accounting/Internal Auditing at LSU. I would think that we'd both discuss our finances/our views on money and meet with a Financial Planner/Advisor and CPA before we marry and set up our short term and long term financial goals. I'd say we're both going to have similar earning power/income but my SO will have some debt and I will have zero.
This post was edited on 3/27/12 at 9:23 pm
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