Pat Forde of ESPN explains what Les Miles was thinking

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"OK, we'll try that onside kick thingie. Man, those were some terrible play calls by Gary Crowton (5) on the two-point conversion -- what was he thinking throwing two fade patterns? Especially the second one, from inside the 2?

"You'll get asked about it postgame, Les. You know how the press likes to doubt you about late-game decisions. But first, let's try this onside doohickey and see what happens."

LSU recovers the kick as Ole Miss' hands team goes matador, all but shouting "Ole!" while watching the ball and the Tigers go right past.

"Wow! We got the ball! That was cool! That means we're back on offense now, right? Yeah, there goes Jordan Jefferson (6) and the boys back out there. … And look at that, a completion to Brandon LaFell (7) all the way to the Ole Miss 32! We might win this thing! The Hat's gonna do it again!

"Slow down, focus. I wonder if we're in field goal range? I get too excited and can't do that math thing where you add 10 yards for the end zone and seven for the spot -- I'd count it out on my fingers, but the TV cameras might catch me. Need to appear commanding over here. And let's face it, I do look good in this hat.

"Oh no! A sack! Call timeout, Les!"

LSU calls timeout with 32 seconds left.


[+] EnlargeAP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis
A late sack of QB Jordan Jefferson hurt the Tigers.
"Why did Jordan take a sack there?!? Why didn't we tell him that the last thing he can do in this situation is take a sack that would knock us out of field goal range? In fact, why aren't we trying to run? Holy smokes, I think I'm going to faint.

"OK, Crowton's calling a screen pass. Is that a good call? I don't know -- I can't think! Too nervous!"

Screen pass loses 7 more yards. It's now fourth-and-26 from the Ole Miss 48 with 26 seconds left.

"OHMYGOSH, that was a disaster. We're dead. We. Are. So. Dead. Should've taken the Michigan job. … What? What are my assistants shouting in my headset? Call timeout? Should we? I mean, it's our last one, right? Should I flip a coin? Consult the Magic Eight Ball? Ooooh, I can't stand this pressure! … OK, I'm calling it!"

LSU calls timeout with nine seconds left, letting roughly 17 seconds waste away. It's now fourth-and-26 from the 48 with nine seconds left.

"All right, we'll throw the Hail Mary, I guess. I have no idea what's going on."

Jefferson Hail Mary comes up short of the end zone but is caught by Terrance Tolliver (8) at the Ole Miss 6. There is time for one last play. "Panicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanic. … Think, Les! Get a grip! What would a smart coach do right now? Think of Bo! What would Bo do? Can you remember? Wait -- there's no time!

"Where are my assistants on the headset? Hello? For all the money I'm paying you guys, can't someone get in my ear and HELP ME OUT HERE?!? I'M CHOKING ON LIVE TV!


[+] EnlargeDon McPeak/US Presswire
Les Miles and the Tigers walked out of Oxford with a loss to Ole Miss.
"FINE. I'll handle this myself. Spike it, Jordan! Spike the ball! See me running down the sideline making this spike gesture? Get it? Throw … the … ball … into … the … ground!

"Wait, there's only one second left? Change of plans! Field goal unit! Where the hell is the kicking team? Get on the field!

"Oh, never mind! There's no time for that now! The chain gang is rushing into place, the officials are going to wind the clock. What do I do? Trust your quarterback, Les. That's what you do. Besides, my jaw is locked in mute horror and I couldn't say anything right now if I tried.

"Jordan, it's all on you. You're 19 years old and doing this for room, board and tuition. I'm making $3.751 million a year. But you're on your own now, and if this goes badly I'm throwing you in front of the postgame media train without hesitation. Nobody ever said life is fair, son. Just channel Matt Flynn and do something to make me look brilliant."

Jefferson tries to spike the ball, but time expires.

"OK, great! Now … oh, wait. The clock shows all zeroes, is that for real? Guess there's no such thing as a half-second play, huh? And the Ole Miss players are all running around, so apparently we did lose. And the sheriffs have come to take me away. And here comes Tracy Wolfson to stick that microphone in my face. This has become a Southwest Airlines commercial and I need to get away. Can I tell her I need to watch the film first? Should I try the 'Have a great day' line? Is the Michigan job going to open?"

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Pretty funny.


























and sad.

Ouch!

I lol'd

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trying to hard to get laugh

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He got two or three from me.

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"OK, Crowton's calling a screen pass. Is that a good call? I don't know -- I can't think! Too nervous!"

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perfectly fitting!!!!!!!

I'm guessing that it's 95-98% damn accurate.

If this was the first time Miles screwed up a time management decision, I could be a little sympathetic. But, he does stupid shite like this almost every f'ing game. It's like he has a brain fart whenever time management is an issue. It's like he's the anti-Drew Brees of time management.

still laughing

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Pat Forde of ESPN explains what Les Miles was thinkingOuch.

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I wonder what few people he is getting his info from? It makes no difference who they are. What does is, will TAF and the LSU A.D. remedy this foolishness once and forever? It is simply a matter of common mathematics, ban counters!