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Started By
Message
re: Lawsuit against LSU and Les Miles
Posted on 4/12/09 at 11:09 pm to holdthttiger
Posted on 4/12/09 at 11:09 pm to holdthttiger
My fav so far:
My civil and constitutional rights are being violated. Termini Bros Bakers sends cream cakes and pudding pies loaded with sugar and trans fat to the coast of Somalia for the Pirates. They then use international water to hijack ships. I'm not being fed. Termini Bros Bakery is bias against me because I'm friends with Joseph Travia. Travia can see how skinny I got, and he has god in him, and gives me any leftover crumbs or sugar he has, this is because noone is feeding me. My stomach is growling as I write this lawsuit. They have to feed the children. I still have the shreaded wheat in me. Last time I ate a hot meal was 3 years ago. I'm in solitary confinement. I get served expired Ensure. Termini is a United States company doing business with the pirates. I'm not being fed. This is a civil rights violation. You can see my ribs. Defendants took my pictures, but I submit as evidence my pictures at https://www.myspace.com/therealjonathanleeriches. I seek relief.
My civil and constitutional rights are being violated. Termini Bros Bakers sends cream cakes and pudding pies loaded with sugar and trans fat to the coast of Somalia for the Pirates. They then use international water to hijack ships. I'm not being fed. Termini Bros Bakery is bias against me because I'm friends with Joseph Travia. Travia can see how skinny I got, and he has god in him, and gives me any leftover crumbs or sugar he has, this is because noone is feeding me. My stomach is growling as I write this lawsuit. They have to feed the children. I still have the shreaded wheat in me. Last time I ate a hot meal was 3 years ago. I'm in solitary confinement. I get served expired Ensure. Termini is a United States company doing business with the pirates. I'm not being fed. This is a civil rights violation. You can see my ribs. Defendants took my pictures, but I submit as evidence my pictures at https://www.myspace.com/therealjonathanleeriches. I seek relief.
Posted on 4/12/09 at 11:20 pm to GOP_Tiger
Sometimes, I don't even have to read the complaint to bust a gut:
Defendant: Thanksgiving, Pilgrims, Mayflower Movers, Pilgrim's Pride, Turkey Hill, Black Friday and Cleveland Indians
Defendant: Thanksgiving, Pilgrims, Mayflower Movers, Pilgrim's Pride, Turkey Hill, Black Friday and Cleveland Indians
Posted on 4/12/09 at 11:44 pm to GOP_Tiger
quote:
mudbogging in my mind
quote:
illefagal
Posted on 4/12/09 at 11:44 pm to GOP_Tiger
Posted on 4/13/09 at 12:08 am to GOP_Tiger
This thread probably needs to go to the OT, but this is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. The lawsuit against Michael Vick is a classic. A couple of excerpts:
"I used a stolen credit card on my dog, this is because Michael Vick broke his leg. My dog, which his name was 'Chops,' was in debt to him. Dogs are prohibited to take out home equity loans from Countrywide Financial."
"Michael Vick is spelled Kciv Leahcim backwards."
"I used a stolen credit card on my dog, this is because Michael Vick broke his leg. My dog, which his name was 'Chops,' was in debt to him. Dogs are prohibited to take out home equity loans from Countrywide Financial."
"Michael Vick is spelled Kciv Leahcim backwards."
Posted on 4/13/09 at 12:12 am to Tigercat
Jonathan Lee Riches
Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs
Plaintiff
Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs
Plaintiff
Posted on 4/13/09 at 12:16 am to TigerJeux
quote:Looked at the link to his myspace...I think thats a band
Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs
Posted on 4/13/09 at 1:34 am to SlowFlowPro
He also puts the little copyright mark (c) behind every use of his name, which I think is great.
There are people working in federal judges offices whose main job is dealing with these kinds of handwritten lawsuits, although most aren't as funny as Riches.
There are people working in federal judges offices whose main job is dealing with these kinds of handwritten lawsuits, although most aren't as funny as Riches.
Posted on 4/13/09 at 8:11 am to SlowFlowPro
They need to institute 'loser pays' rules on this arse clown! He'd be in there another three lifetimes!
Posted on 4/13/09 at 8:27 am to towncryr
Somehow "The Twilight Zone" theme keeps coming to mind when I read his stuff.
Posted on 4/13/09 at 8:35 am to bbap
They will have a strong case with this hand written bull shite!
Posted on 4/13/09 at 9:04 am to KING JAMES
It is taking everything I have not to burst out laughing in media law right now, if we weren't busy, I'd so bring this crap up
ETA: He also sued Diddy: Riches v. Combs et al
ETA: He also sued Diddy: Riches v. Combs et al
This post was edited on 4/13/09 at 9:14 am
Posted on 4/13/09 at 9:14 am to boomtapp
Reading some of his filings, I'm convinced he's also the head writer for Miami CSI. Always suspected it took a special mind to write those scripts.
Posted on 4/13/09 at 1:24 pm to KING JAMES
quote:
They will have a strong case with this hand written bull shite!
would you consider the plaintiff as "tiger bait"
?
Posted on 4/13/09 at 2:02 pm to Tigercat
Here is his Wikipedia page:
quote:
Jonathan Lee Riches
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jonathan Lee Riches is a prisoner known for the many lawsuits he has filed in various United States district courts.[1] Riches is incarcerated at Federal Transfer Center (FTC) Oklahoma City, for wire fraud under the terms of a plea bargain.[2][3][4] His projected release date is March 23, 2012.
History
Since January 8, 2006, he has filed over one thousand lawsuits in federal district courts across the country,[5] some of which have received considerable press attention.[6] Among the more famous defendants of his lawsuits are New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick,[7] U.S. President George W. Bush,[8] entrepreneur Martha Stewart,[9] NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon,[10] Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick,[11][12] entrepreneur Steve Jobs,[13] celebrity blogger Perez Hilton,[14] Somali pirates,[15] and pop star Britney Spears.[16] He also sued the late Benazir Bhutto, Pervez Musharraf, and the Immigration and Naturalization Service on November 7, 2007, to prevent him from being deported to Pakistan upon his release from prison in March 2012 so that he will not be tortured.[17]
On April 9, 2008, Riches filed a request for a temporary restraining order in a US District Court against Grand Theft Auto publisher Take-Two, developer Rockstar Games, FCI Williamsburg, and Grand Theft Auto itself, claiming that the defendants "put me in prison." The inmate stated, "Defendants contributed to Plaintiff committing identity theft. Defendant's games show sex, drugs and violence which offends me." Riches continued, "Defendants put me in prison. I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross."[18]
More recently, Riches has attempted to intervene as a plaintiff in the Madoff investment scandal, claiming that he "met Bernard Madoff on eharmony.com in 2001" and taught Madoff identity theft skills.[19]
Some of Riches' defendants are not even people or potentially suable. These include "Adolf Hitler's National Socialist Party" and the "13 tribes of Israel".[20] One lawsuit, which includes George Bush, also includes another 783 defendants that cover 56 pages. They include Plato, Nostradamus, Che Guevara, James Hoffa, "Various Buddhist Monks", the Lincoln Memorial, the Eiffel Tower, the USS Cole, the book Mein Kampf, the Garden of Eden, the Roman Empire, the Appalachian Trail, and the entire Three Mile Island.[21]
A number of Riches's lawsuits have been dismissed as being "frivolous, malicious" or failing "to state a claim upon which any relief could be granted".[11] Willis Hunt, the U.S. District Court Judge who dismissed Riches' suit against Vick as "farcical," opined that his lawsuits were clearly self-promotional.[11]
than Lee Riches
Posted on 4/13/09 at 2:33 pm to TIGERSTORM
Riches vs. NASA:
quote:
Plaintiff sued the National Aeronautics and Space Administration "NASA", John F. Kennedy Space Center, Lisa Nowak d/b/a "Space Astronaut", Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and the Space Shuttle Challenger for NASA Harassment. Plaintiff seeks the return of copyrighted and patented material belonging to Jonathan Lee Riches, i.e., jet fuel, space suits, moon rocks, mercury, DNA from pluto. Plaintiff also moves for a TRO prohibiting defendants from launching any material away from Earth without plaintiff's written permission. Plaintiff claims that defendants are in a major conspiracy to defraud American tax payers and Congress, and that he learned this through his sexual relationship with Lisa Nowak who brought secret documents to him in prison. Plaintiff also asserts that his ex-girlfriend Lisa Nowak told him that the Mars rover isn't at Mars, but in an Arizona desert to make people believe NASA has been to Mars to justify federal funding. Nowak also allegedly told plaintiff that the International Space Station is a trailer that was bought from a Miami Winnebago dealership for $1,200.
Posted on 4/13/09 at 2:39 pm to liquid rabbit
One more for laughs: Riches vs. Billy Joel
quote:
Plaintiff alleged that defendant Billy Joel the Singer is his step-father, and sent him to defendant Vision Quest Psychiatric Facility in Franklin, Pennsylvania. Plaintiff alleged that Vision Quest forced him to sleep in teepees with no UFO radar defense system. Plaintiff also alleged that Italian hitmen made him sign an omerta silence oath, Vision Quest made him travel around the country in horse and buggies like the Amish, and "We Didn't Start the Fire" was in the stingrays head when it killed the croc master Steven Irwin.
Posted on 4/13/09 at 4:24 pm to liquid rabbit
Posted on 4/13/09 at 4:44 pm to SlowFlowPro
Brilliant. Is this guy a retard?
Posted on 4/13/09 at 4:58 pm to SlowFlowPro
This is freaking hilarious and maybe in the top ten of funniest things I've read on here.
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