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Started By
Message
If you want to kill yourself, friggin call someone first. Please.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:37 am
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:37 am
Burying a friend later today. Great guy, very well respected. Took his own life last weekend. Left a young son behind, a son who will now be scarred for life.
His death stunned everyone. Why the hell couldn't he call someone? Talk to someone. He knew what this would do to his kids. Part of me mourns but part of me wants to kill him (you know what I mean). . Why, why, why???? Whatever pain he was suffering is magnified a hundred fold after he did this to himself.
So if you're feeling like it, call someone. I've seen people on this board hit the wall before and wonder what they should do. Talk to someone. It's not worth it. Just not.
His death stunned everyone. Why the hell couldn't he call someone? Talk to someone. He knew what this would do to his kids. Part of me mourns but part of me wants to kill him (you know what I mean). . Why, why, why???? Whatever pain he was suffering is magnified a hundred fold after he did this to himself.
So if you're feeling like it, call someone. I've seen people on this board hit the wall before and wonder what they should do. Talk to someone. It's not worth it. Just not.
This post was edited on 11/14/24 at 8:43 am
46
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:40 am to prplhze2000
I know this sounds harsh but the more we work from home and isolate ourselves from society, the more you will see of this.
Sorry for your friend.
Sorry for your friend.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:41 am to prplhze2000
Sorry for your loss but seriously who are you going to call and how are they going to help? Talk through it but the problems and hopelessness are still there.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:41 am to prplhze2000
People kill themselves not because they are in pain, but because they truly believe the people they love are better off without them. They are nearly always wrong, and that’s why your advice to reach out for help is so important, but try not to frame this in your mind as a selfish act, when your friend, wrongly but almost certainly, viewed it as a selfless one. Sorry you’re dealing with this though, mate. shite sucks.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:43 am to BabyTac
He was not isolated or working from home.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:44 am to Joshjrn
Men are told to just bottle it up or you aren't a man.
This post was edited on 11/14/24 at 8:53 am
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:44 am to prplhze2000
So sad. That kid is going to be scarred.
To get in the psyche of suicidal people, there is a documentary about something similar called Jumper about people who jump from the Golden Gate Bridge - some survive, but not many. It takes you through conversations with the deceased families and friends and sometimes with people who had a last second epiphany and didn’t jump.
It’s a tough watch because you can see so much pain. Also fyi the documentary shows people falling to their deaths so fair warning.
Hope your friend is able to rest in peace and sorry for your loss
To get in the psyche of suicidal people, there is a documentary about something similar called Jumper about people who jump from the Golden Gate Bridge - some survive, but not many. It takes you through conversations with the deceased families and friends and sometimes with people who had a last second epiphany and didn’t jump.
It’s a tough watch because you can see so much pain. Also fyi the documentary shows people falling to their deaths so fair warning.
Hope your friend is able to rest in peace and sorry for your loss
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:48 am to prplhze2000
My absolute best friend in the whole world had his twin brother commit suicide.
I was very concerned about him but we all went to the class reunion a year later and I got busy with life and didn't think much about it after being really concerned. We talked all the time.
A couple years later he called me right before Christmas and was asking if I was going to be going to La because he wanted to see me. I said I was busy with the family and probably couldn't make it.
A couple weeks later I got a VM from his older brother asking me to call him.
My stomach dropped.
I knew instantly.
I quickly recalled the conversation and realized he sounded quiet and subdued on the phone when he called me a few weeks prior and I felt like absolute shite.
To this day I haven't forgiven myself for not picking up on the signs.
It's the all time biggest regret if my adult life.
I was very concerned about him but we all went to the class reunion a year later and I got busy with life and didn't think much about it after being really concerned. We talked all the time.
A couple years later he called me right before Christmas and was asking if I was going to be going to La because he wanted to see me. I said I was busy with the family and probably couldn't make it.
A couple weeks later I got a VM from his older brother asking me to call him.
My stomach dropped.
I knew instantly.
I quickly recalled the conversation and realized he sounded quiet and subdued on the phone when he called me a few weeks prior and I felt like absolute shite.
To this day I haven't forgiven myself for not picking up on the signs.
It's the all time biggest regret if my adult life.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:49 am to prplhze2000
Generally when someone is suicidal enough to attempt, they’re experiencing high levels of hopelessness. He likely thought his family was better off without him.
We also never know what someone is dealing with internally.
We also never know what someone is dealing with internally.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:49 am to prplhze2000
I think the problem is, no one who kills them self is in a proper state of mind.
Its not so simple, ya know.
Its not so simple, ya know.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:50 am to prplhze2000
Interestingly enough, I'm dealing with kind of a similar situation. A friend of mine killed himself a couple weeks back and his wife/parents have not mentioned anything about it anywhere. How long do you wait before starting to discuss it publicly/on social media to at least begin getting the word out? Also bear in mind, I don't really know anyone in his family. Was a high school buddy.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:53 am to prplhze2000
quote:
He knew what this would do to his kids.
The person who commits suicide thinks that the people they love are better off without them. They do not understand the consequences of their actions.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:53 am to DeltaTigerDelta
quote:
Talk through it but the problems and hopelessness are still there.
Problems may still be there but they can be solved eventually. "Hopelessness" is an imaginary thing. Friends can help with that.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:54 am to prplhze2000
I don't know if your friend was a Veteran or not, but, the Vet community can't seem to find a way to stop suicides. In my area, we recently had an Army Ranger commit suicide.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:58 am to CAD703X
quote:He was saying goodbye. Try to forgive yourself because it’s not your fault. Like my friend of similar circumstances told me once near his end, “there’s nothing you can do”. He ground himself down for 20 yrs.
To this day I haven't forgiven myself for not picking up on the signs.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:58 am to prplhze2000
Buried a close friend on Monday. He was the last person in the world I would have thought would take his life.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:58 am to Joshjrn
quote:
People kill themselves not because they are in pain, but because they truly believe the people they love are better off without them. They are nearly always wrong, and that’s why your advice to reach out for help is so important, but try not to frame this in your mind as a selfish act, when your friend, wrongly but almost certainly, viewed it as a selfless one. Sorry you’re dealing with this though, mate. shite sucks.
Well said.
Posted on 11/14/24 at 8:59 am to CAD703X
That's a Heavy cross to bear, and you shouldn't carry it onward.
It is doubtful it would have changed things, and he needed professional help.
Depression is a hard thing.
It is doubtful it would have changed things, and he needed professional help.
Depression is a hard thing.
This post was edited on 11/14/24 at 9:01 am
Posted on 11/14/24 at 9:00 am to heatom2
quote:my friend I mentioned above??
think the problem is, no one who kills them self is in a proper state of mind.
Its not so simple, ya know.
Dude was a "hired gun" CPA. Smart as a whip.
He worked for himself and corporations including Enron reached out to him to fix shite nobody else could.
He was single and routinely pulling down 500k/yr and worked maybe half the year.
That goes to show money has nothing to do with success and happiness. Nothing.
His twin brother who he fought like cats and dogs with meant everything to him and he couldn't bear to live in the world any longer without him in it.
This post was edited on 11/14/24 at 9:03 am
Posted on 11/14/24 at 9:00 am to BabyTac
quote:
work from home
Doesn’t have to result in
quote:
isolate ourselves from society
And it’s not like an hour commute slog and being in an office all day long with a bunch of fake quasi friends (or worse, people you can’t stand) is necessarily good for one’s mental health.
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