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Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/29/24 at 2:43 pm to Leotiger725
Posted on 4/29/24 at 2:43 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
The fact of the matter is you cannot force someone to try and be a decent person if they are hellbent on doing the opposite. I never imagined things would get this bad. I cannot relate at all to her and her behavior, and neither can the rest of my family.
Parents that haven't dealt with it don't understand. You feel like you are failing as a parent. And everyone that should be there to help you, won't.
I tell the story all the time. At 3 yrs old, we told our daughter to clean her room or else we were going to donate all her toys. She looked at us, went to the kitchen, and came back and handed us a trash bag. We packed up her toys and gave them away. You can't parent a child that does that.
We lived this with my oldest daughter. Finally, through a combination of medication, therapy, and the husband, she is a productive member of society. I know that this could change quickly, but for the last 5 years or so, she's been great.
If you don't have a good therapist, go get one. I'd also recommend a camp of some kind. Teen Challenge is a good one: LINK. There was a survival camp of some kind that we also looked into but never pulled the trigger on it. One of those were they are reconditioning the kid. Literally give them a cup, a spoon, and a blanket and leave them in the woods.
I'll be praying for you brother.
2
Posted on 4/29/24 at 2:51 pm to Aubie Spr96
quote:
I tell the story all the time. At 3 yrs old, we told our daughter to clean her room or else we were going to donate all her toys. She looked at us, went to the kitchen, and came back and handed us a trash bag. We packed up her toys and gave them away. You can't parent a child that does that
Kid called your bluff. Sounds like you needed a new carrot/stick model to motivate her. If she can take that kind of internal confidence, drive, and moxy and channel it into something constructive, that’s a kid who could be an unstoppable force as an adult. That’s fortunate 500 CEO, president, inventor, entrepreneur, or druggie burnout. There’s really no in between.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:58 pm to Aubie Spr96
quote:
If you don't have a good therapist, go get one. I'd also recommend a camp of some kind. Teen Challenge is a good one: LINK. There was a survival camp of some kind that we also looked into but never pulled the trigger on it. One of those were they are reconditioning the kid. Literally give them a cup, a spoon, and a blanket and leave them in the woods.
I know someone whose child did a survival camp in Georgia. The child doesn’t have BPD so I won’t try to compare it to someone who does, but the child has made significant progress since doing it.
OP I am still reading but since I stopped to comment I wanted to say that I really feel for you and I pray you find something to help your daughter and your family.
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