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Message
re: Coworker of mine is getting a divorce
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:53 am to Indefatigable
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:53 am to Indefatigable
quote:
Divorcing your wife because she is struggling with postpartum depression is even worse.
You ever dealt with that shite?
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:54 am to JDPndahizzy
quote:
He can get ready for about $1500 a month support plus insurance..
closer to $1000 with 50/50 custody. Depends on what she makes really.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:56 am to Bigfishchoupique
quote:
quote:
.couldn’t fricking imagine it.
My kids were an older 8 and 4. It was and is the worst pain imaginable. I would drive almost 500 miles every other weekend to see them. When I would drop them off I could make it about a half mile away before I would pull over and sob. And sob.
I don’t think I have ever gottenover it. We all missed so much together. 30 plus years later. Frick it.
There is nothing worse than feeling alone.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 10:11 am to BoogaBear
quote:
Divorce wrecks kids. Even in the best of environments with parents being civil and doing everything they can for the benefit of the kid, the kids are still largely impacted.
This is absolutely the truth. My parents divorced when I was 13 but the whole degeneration of the marriage started earlier. I was the youngest of 3 and pretty mature for my age.
When I was told they were divorcing my response was something like "why bother informing me, it's your decision" or something.
I'm in my 50's and have been married for 31 years and have led a happy successful life, but the divorce of my parents and the aftermath have shaped my life in ways I'm honestly still figuring out even now.
Sorry it's happening OP and I'm incredibly sorry for your children.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 10:19 am to eitek1
Are divorce rates up lately? Seems like everyone is doing it. Facebook is constantly showing us how much greener the grass is for everyone else.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 10:20 am to eitek1
It definitely changes your life as the child of divorce. Even as an adult, you always have to visit them separately.
You'll have 2 of every holiday, birthday etc. It's also awkward when you have an event like a graduation where you'd normally want to sit as a family.
My parents are in their 70s. They are cordial to each other, but I don't think they really like one another.
You'll have 2 of every holiday, birthday etc. It's also awkward when you have an event like a graduation where you'd normally want to sit as a family.
My parents are in their 70s. They are cordial to each other, but I don't think they really like one another.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 10:25 am to grizzlylongcut
let me guess the wife wanted to go to asia for a month long finding herself trip
Posted on 4/25/24 at 10:27 am to fr33manator
quote:
It does get better. So much better. You just have to stick around to see it. Those kids need you, so damn much.
At some point we have to be real, point to the stats and say men are critically more important to a household than females, especially as it relates to children.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 11:43 am to GrizzlyAlloy
quote:
You ever dealt with that shite?
We did after one of our kids for several months.
Postpartum is hard as hell, no doubt. It’s also temporary. Divorce is a permanent solution. .
Posted on 4/25/24 at 11:47 am to jizzle6609
quote:
At some point we have to be real, point to the stats and say men are critically more important to a household than females, especially as it relates to children.
Even if this was true, what exactly is the point in this kind of thinking?
Why does one person in a marriage have to be “better” or “more important” than the other?
I just can’t understand thinking this way, and if I was married to a woman who was always trying to one-up me, I think I’d want to drink a bottle of draino. Sounds frigging miserable.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 11:56 am to Dadren
My ex's post partum lasted for 2 years, until I left her. Then, it cleared right up.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 12:04 pm to Bigfishchoupique
quote:
My kids were an older 8 and 4. It was and is the worst pain imaginable. I would drive almost 500 miles every other weekend to see them. When I would drop them off I could make it about a half mile away before I would pull over and sob. And sob.
frick that.
Reminds me of this song:
Posted on 4/25/24 at 12:07 pm to eitek1
quote:
Divorce wrecks kids. Even in the best of environments with parents being civil and doing everything they can for the benefit of the kid, the kids are still largely impacted.
I’ve witnessed this. My neighbor and his wife had two boys, both the same age as my son & daughter. They divorced when the older boy was about 10 and the younger a toddler. Mom moved out and moved in with her new guy. The older boy went from a normal, happy boy who loved playing baseball to a withdrawn “emo” kid and he never grew out of it. The younger one, he’s 15 or 16 now, is openly gay and I think he might “identity” as they/them or some similar insanity. Mom has always been one of those snotty NPR leftists and I think she views having a LGBTQXYZ@%¥+ kid as a badge of honor.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 12:23 pm to GrizzlyAlloy
quote:
My ex's post partum lasted for 2 years, until I left her. Then, it cleared right up.
You can't fix a woman who refuses to seek help or work on herself. And you can only be drug through the mud for so long before you have to get up and not let yourself drown in their misery with them.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 2:27 pm to Dadren
What happens in therapy or couples counselling? Women are much more easily influenced and many times the counseling is centered around changing the man.
The world has trained us men to almost keep our mouths closed about what we find to be truths and what we want.
Which is amazing to me. Most of us men are incredibly easy to please and we haven't changed much over the last 100 years.
No one cares about what we want. Period. That's the world us men live in.
Women have changed A LOT over the last 20-25 years.
Women don't grow up anymore wanting to be wives and mother's. They want careers....
So the woman leaves: 70-80% of the time. She's not happy. But now she has 2 kids that she expects another man to come in and help her raise. Sorta.
Fast forwrd her life 10 years. She's likely still a single momma - and still unhappy.
The world has trained us men to almost keep our mouths closed about what we find to be truths and what we want.
Which is amazing to me. Most of us men are incredibly easy to please and we haven't changed much over the last 100 years.
No one cares about what we want. Period. That's the world us men live in.
Women have changed A LOT over the last 20-25 years.
Women don't grow up anymore wanting to be wives and mother's. They want careers....
So the woman leaves: 70-80% of the time. She's not happy. But now she has 2 kids that she expects another man to come in and help her raise. Sorta.
Fast forwrd her life 10 years. She's likely still a single momma - and still unhappy.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 3:00 pm to Havoc
quote:
Maybe but the pattern I’ve seen is ppd wife being crazy, freezing out and/or emasculating the husband, who tries to work it out but finally gives up and strays to a chick that actually doesn’t treat him like garbage.
As Chris Rock said "A man is only as faithful as his options."
Posted on 4/25/24 at 3:31 pm to Dadren
quote:
Even if this was true, what exactly is the point in this kind of thinking?
Why does one person in a marriage have to be “better” or “more important” than the other?
I just can’t understand thinking this way, and if I was married to a woman who was always trying to one-up me, I think I’d want to drink a bottle of draino. Sounds frigging miserable.
Its not about being better than the other spouse. Its not a competition. Its a team game. But there are certain things that cannot be taught as it is just nature.
Everyone in here's mom at one point told them "wait until your father gets home"
Why would a women ever say that? Because the leader is a man. Men are responsible for keeping their kids in line, not the women. Its not meant to be that way and its not that way and never will be no matter how many dicks you super glue to a mentally ill chick.
Dont believe me keep the divorce rates high and single mother household numbers strong and we will continue down this path. If more of these kids had males in their life the numbers wouldnt be half of what they are today. So in a sense, we are the problem.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 4:14 pm to jizzle6609
You are 1,000% spot on here.
An elementary school teacher will tell you - Children are exponentially better students, more successful in life and turn out to be better and more productive people when they have an active dad plugged in to their lives.
Dad's are disciplinarians, teachers, standard bearers. It's who we are.
Mother's are nurterers, caretakers, and loving.
An elementary school teacher will tell you - Children are exponentially better students, more successful in life and turn out to be better and more productive people when they have an active dad plugged in to their lives.
Dad's are disciplinarians, teachers, standard bearers. It's who we are.
Mother's are nurterers, caretakers, and loving.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 4:20 pm to wheelz007
quote:
You are 1,000% spot on here.
An elementary school teacher will tell you - Children are exponentially better students, more successful in life and turn out to be better and more productive people when they have an active dad plugged in to their lives.
Dad's are disciplinarians, teachers, standard bearers. It's who we are.
Mother's are nurterers, caretakers, and loving.
Its very frustrating because I think everyone knows the truth and is just unwilling to come to terms but we have to.
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