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re: Close relative is in hospice...(update page 5)
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:14 pm to tigernurse
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:14 pm to tigernurse
quote:Thank you, dear.
It really is difficult to summarize an entire life into a brief essay. prayers to you, e-friend.
It's crazy how random the path is. This AM, he had a fever of 102, but his feet were cold and turning blue (makes sense to me given oxygen saturation down in the 80s). However, as I type this, fever gone and feet back to warm and not blue.
I know no single data point means anything in the process, but it is astounding how seemingly random it is as the body shuts down.
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
3
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:17 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
every bit of this. You are doing a wonderful job of making sure that is exactly what happens.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:37 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
Prayers to your loved one and to you and your incredible commitment. It's funny though, about the dying....you leave the room for a minute to use the bathroom or get some water, and when you come back to them, they've passed. I've heard a few people say that sometimes the dying know when they are alone and wait for that time to pass.
Just a thought.
Posted on 1/8/24 at 7:56 am to Big Scrub TX
I was a family caregiver for nigh on 20 years. Dad, Mom, then Uncle. Three time Hospice experience. As others have said, keep the pain med and the Ativan going. Let your loved one know its okay to let go. One of my Mom's biggest fears was leaving her only son by himself. Don't worry about it Mom, Big Sis is here too helping me and we will be fine.
Keep assuring him its okay to go if its mentioned at ALL.
Watching the process three times has hardened me. Death, while necessary, is a horrible thing for the living to endure, much less the dying. But its on all our schedules.
Be sure and look after yourself if you can. Our loved ones don't want US to suffer for them, of this I am convinced.
Hang in there.
OH, and if the hospice people offer grief counseling, TAKE THEM UP ON IT. I declined and suffered mentally for it. Don't be billy badass.
Keep assuring him its okay to go if its mentioned at ALL.
Watching the process three times has hardened me. Death, while necessary, is a horrible thing for the living to endure, much less the dying. But its on all our schedules.
Be sure and look after yourself if you can. Our loved ones don't want US to suffer for them, of this I am convinced.
Hang in there.
OH, and if the hospice people offer grief counseling, TAKE THEM UP ON IT. I declined and suffered mentally for it. Don't be billy badass.
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