re: Close relative is in hospice...(update page 5)

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Another thing is any stressor sends her over the edge...She had a UTI that put her in the hospital last week and while there she lapsed into delirium. Like something you'd see in a movie. Completely out of touch with reality. Didn't know who or where she was, etc. She didn't sleep for 24 hours and they finally give her a shot to knock her out. When she woke up she was much better although a little confused for a few more days. She's been in rehab since last Friday to get her strength back and the last two days her mental state has been better than it's been in a long time. I pray it continues.

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This is actually a reasonable approximation of where we are now. He was laid low by covid and then a UTI during the summer (they took him to the hospital both times, which I didn't agree with), both of which seemed to just take the complete wind out of everything and cause permanent decline. I moved him over to skilled nursing (finally) from memory care when it was clear he wasn't going to improve. Still, he was verbal and more or less (seemingly) content.

But since then, he's become essentially entirely non-verbal, and then yesterday had the delirium and twitching (like a movie). The big change in the past 36 hours has been the no eating. Through all the recent travails, the appetite has never gone away. But this time...the hospice nurse thinks his brain might actually be shutting down in real time. I have opted for pure palliative from now on.

Thank you to everyone in this thread who provided testimony as well as kind thoughts. I guess my point in this thread was: it's so easy for me (as the person tasked with making the decisions) to just be "I hope his angel comes and takes him quietly during the night". But I'm terrified of being too casually dismissive of another human being's lived experience. What if what we see on the outside isn't indicative of the internal reality? This person only has this one life - who am I to declare it not worth living?...