Enmeshment

Is she from Alabama?

Gesundheit

All you mofo's just need therapy! I can't believe I had read an article to understand what this even is.

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What does this mean?

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From wiki:
Enmeshment is a concept in psychology and psychotherapy introduced by Salvador Minuchin (1921–2017) to describe families where personal boundaries are diffused, sub-systems undifferentiated, and over-concern for others leads to a loss of autonomous development.[1] According to this hypothesis, by being enmeshed in parental needs, trapped in a discrepant role function,[2] a child may lose their capacity for self-direction;[3] their own distinctiveness, under the weight of "psychic incest";[4] and, if family pressures increase, may end up becoming the identified patient or family scapegoat.[5]


I still have no idea what it is

That’s what I’m dealing with….my wife can not do anything with her mom….ive been told we can’t go on vacation unless her family goes, asking me if her mom can get on our bank account and move in with us, I thought my job was going to relocate me and I was told we could move if her mom can come with us….talking/texting all day…decisions about our kids go to her mom instead of me….thats the tip of the iceberg

I’ve brought it up to her in the past, didn’t know the term enmeshment at the time and of course it was all my fault….got gaslighted you name it. We are back to maw in law just showing up at the house…no warning or asking….ive heard her mom badmouth her ex-husband on numerous occasions….ive had to sit and listen to my MIL lecture my wife on why she needs to know everything….list goes on and on.

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Mother daughter enmeshment….it is something I stumbled upon recently and without going into much detail, there are no boundaries whatsoever between them.

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Ah, the old mother/daughter three way.

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I have an in-law (43yrs old) that is totally enmeshed with her mom. They can't function without each other. They have damaged or broken every external relationship they've ever had. Neither of them have friends. Like, at all. She's had some work friends but that group changes yearly. It's honestly one of the most dysfunctional relationships I've ever seen and I've been in mental health for over 20 years.

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So, you’ve met my sister…..and we’re distantly related by marriage. Nice. I won’t bother trying to figure out who you are. Just nice knowing someone else sees these psychos.

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Has anyone had/have a spouse that was enmeshed with their parents?

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Trying to sound intelligent...