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Started By
Message
re: Genuine OT help on a new engagee
Posted on 10/9/23 at 9:49 am to Carson123987
Posted on 10/9/23 at 9:49 am to Carson123987
Not at all my guy.
However, men, myself included, spend far to much time and energy trying to rationalize with women. It simply never works, just letting my man know what he's lined up for. The woman he's going to marry isn't going to suddenly hear his wonderful advice (provided by the OT of course) on why nothing she's doing makes any type of rational sense whatsoever, and suddenly realize he's exactly right and change. It's not gonna happen. So, he can learn how to find a calm balance in life knowing those facts or drive himself insane trying to "fix" her.
However, men, myself included, spend far to much time and energy trying to rationalize with women. It simply never works, just letting my man know what he's lined up for. The woman he's going to marry isn't going to suddenly hear his wonderful advice (provided by the OT of course) on why nothing she's doing makes any type of rational sense whatsoever, and suddenly realize he's exactly right and change. It's not gonna happen. So, he can learn how to find a calm balance in life knowing those facts or drive himself insane trying to "fix" her.
2
Posted on 10/9/23 at 9:56 am to adamau
I think also he needs to figure out if he's the type to want to "fix' another person. She's not broken, she is who she is. If she's a lady who cares what other people think of her, then that's who she is.
I know the OT doesn't believe it but there are women who aren't like that. Or at least they aren't fixated enough to let it impact a relationship. That happens when two people are well matched.
It sounds like in this case, the dude isn't well matched with his fiance.
A wedding is just an event for the marriage. The marriage is what's important.
Ask yourself what 30ish year old woman - who I assume would want kids - isn't doing everything she can to lock down a marriage? Red flags everywhere.
I know the OT doesn't believe it but there are women who aren't like that. Or at least they aren't fixated enough to let it impact a relationship. That happens when two people are well matched.
It sounds like in this case, the dude isn't well matched with his fiance.
A wedding is just an event for the marriage. The marriage is what's important.
Ask yourself what 30ish year old woman - who I assume would want kids - isn't doing everything she can to lock down a marriage? Red flags everywhere.
Posted on 10/9/23 at 9:58 am to adamau
quote:
Not at all my guy.
That would be me if I was stuck with a girl like that
I have a buddy that, for all his life, would show up early to every event. He was always there to help set up, start cooking, get things organized, etc. He started dating a girl that is exactly what you described. Now he is hours late to everything. She takes 2-3 hours to get ready, has to facetime her friends so that they can watch her try on 3 different outfits, etc. EXACTLY the type you're talking about
She's extremely cool otherwise, but I just couldn't be with someone like that. My personal nightmare
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