re: Are Young Men Truly Lost?

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I think this is a thought a lot of men have had, but the conclusion I reach is 'oh well'.

There are no rules here.

A lot of men in here getting upset that the dating world has changed. Saying the rules have changed is a cop out because, if there were any rules to begin with, they heavily favored men. Women have, through whatever means (again, no rules), become more independent in the last half century and they have more autonomy in choosing their mates.

Are they making the best choices? I don't know, and it doesn't matter. They aren't my choices, they aren't men's choices. They are individual choices made my by individual women who have the freedom to do so. If a women doesn't choose me, great. Why would I want to be with a woman who doesn't think I'm attractive and/or doesn't want a relationship with me. When there is attraction both ways, you should know it. At least that's been my experience. If you aren't attracting women, stop blaming them and work on yourself. And no, I don't mean go to the gym and get angry. Stay in shape, dress well according to what you like, and be confident in yourself. If you don't know how to do that, go to therapy.

Frankly, and this board is a huge example of why I write this, a lot of yall are going to end up single and miserable with the way you view women. The lack of respect, especially knowing some of yall have daughters, is gross. I don't know if that's genetic or if it's learned from other shitty men, but it makes me happy that my father was a deadbeat and not someone who gave me a false sense of idealism when it came to women.

And sure, downvote away, soyboy, etc. I'm happily married, have never had issues with understanding attraction, and I expect this to be quoted with the disapproving head shakes and deragotory comments. Again, maybe look at yourself.

If you're lost in life, figure it the frick out. If you're lost with women, figure it the frick out. You have the entirety of all the information in the world at your fingertips. You angry at the dating world? Nobody cares. Like I learned the hard way, nobody is coming to save you.

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No downvote from me, I think almost all of what you said is spot on. I know for me personally I hate being this way, I just feel broken when it comes to dating. Like what is really left out there for me at my age anyway? Being 39 I'm not going be pulling in some woman between 25-30 and in her prime.

Heck just being on some of the dating apps makes me not even want to bother. It's all bitter women, women who are divorced and/or have kids and women who look more like men than other women.

I feel like I'd have to badly settle if I want to be in a relationship and I'm not ready or willing to do that. Maybe it's wrong to think that way, maybe I'm not being mature, but that's how my brain thinks.

I guess I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in the forest and don't really know how to get out. I've tried social groups, meetups, online dating, fitness classes, even a church group one time and genuinely nothing has worked for me. More and more I'm seeing it's not just me that none of these ideas have worked for either. It's a major societal issue.