re: Couple lures theives with Bicycle, then beats them with Bats.

Would become an interesting "Dark Web" sport. They could video the beatings and then haul the thieves out into the woods, chain them to a tree and post live trail cam videos of them starving to death, or of critters eating their flesh as they died. Would makefor a 3-4 week 24-7 Dark Web video site, many would enjoy viewing.

Would work for porch delivery thieves, too. After you have 3-4 bikes or FexEx deliveries stolen you might actually pay to see such stuff.

Of course, it would need to be on the Dark Web. Maybe someone could offer seminars on how to set of such a web site, for folks who don't understand the technology involved. As I think about it, you could also offer short term leases of your heavy woods, or swamp land to interested parties.

Just kidding, I guess.