- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Omicron Vaccine To Be Made Available In March
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:30 pm
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:30 pm
For The 12 People Who Haven't Gotten Omicron Yet
U.S—Pfizer has reiterated their commitment to the release of a new Omicron vaccine in March, just in time for the twelve people who haven't already gotten sick and recovered.
"We intend to save lives," said Derrick Pfizer while meeting with CDC officials. "Sure, Omicron is spreading so fast that it will have probably run through the majority of people by then, but this is no laughing matter. The dozen or so people who haven't had it yet will have a vaccine available so they don't have to deal with a mild cold that puts them out of work for a week."
Experts at the CDC removed additional safety requirements from vaccine development to try and get it out the door sooner but admitted there was only so much they could do to bypass government regulation.
"There are hundreds of government regulations to consider," insisted a sputtering Dana Tacoa, a spokesperson for the government agency. "We're only comfortable ignoring protocol for in-depth human testing. We have to risk the lives of every man, woman, and child so we can save the handful who don't have natural immunity yet."
When asked why scientists were working so hard on a vaccine that would be rendered useless by herd immunity Derrick Pfizer calmly reassured the public.
"Don't worry, we're not working that hard," he said.
The TWELVE
U.S—Pfizer has reiterated their commitment to the release of a new Omicron vaccine in March, just in time for the twelve people who haven't already gotten sick and recovered.
"We intend to save lives," said Derrick Pfizer while meeting with CDC officials. "Sure, Omicron is spreading so fast that it will have probably run through the majority of people by then, but this is no laughing matter. The dozen or so people who haven't had it yet will have a vaccine available so they don't have to deal with a mild cold that puts them out of work for a week."
Experts at the CDC removed additional safety requirements from vaccine development to try and get it out the door sooner but admitted there was only so much they could do to bypass government regulation.
"There are hundreds of government regulations to consider," insisted a sputtering Dana Tacoa, a spokesperson for the government agency. "We're only comfortable ignoring protocol for in-depth human testing. We have to risk the lives of every man, woman, and child so we can save the handful who don't have natural immunity yet."
When asked why scientists were working so hard on a vaccine that would be rendered useless by herd immunity Derrick Pfizer calmly reassured the public.
"Don't worry, we're not working that hard," he said.
The TWELVE
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:32 pm to TigerVespamon
Y’all, this madness has to end. Bodies gon be stacking up soon
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:33 pm to TigerVespamon
The cold and flu season, I mean omicronic lies, will be over by March.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:34 pm to TigerVespamon
I just got over it. I would be more afraid of the shot than Omicron itself. It wasn’t that bad.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:35 pm to TigerVespamon
Banana Hammock can’t wait!
After all, he truly is a...
After all, he truly is a...
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:36 pm to TigerVespamon
You'd have to be a complete lunatic to get that
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:36 pm to TigerVespamon
First quarter projections not looking so good?
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:37 pm to TigerVespamon
Just got over the omicron…….. really bad cold at the worst.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:39 pm to TigerVespamon
Theta will be the threat then.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:41 pm to TigerVespamon
Does it work as spectacularly as their first batch?
I remember when we used to use the world Immunization. You know... the word derived from Immunity.
I remember when we used to use the world Immunization. You know... the word derived from Immunity.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:41 pm to TigerVespamon
Talk about unnecessary
Holy mother of money grab
Holy mother of money grab
This post was edited on 1/16/22 at 7:42 pm
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:42 pm to TigerVespamon
This will be over in 2 more weeks.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:44 pm to loogaroo
quote:
this will be over in 2 weeks
It'll last as long as government gets kickbacks to buy "vaccines".
I hope I'm wrong.
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:45 pm to TigerVespamon
Why would ANYONE under the age of 70 want an Omicron Vaccine(other than compromised patients)
Posted on 1/16/22 at 7:56 pm to TigerVespamon
Nobody even bothers to read the obvious satire
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News