JimEagle

I rarely post here but this one hits close to home so I'll put in my two cents.

I lost my wife to cancer @ 36 with a 4 year old child. I was settled down and worried mostly about things like my family, job, my lawn, etc. I took about a year to deal with the loss, work on myself, and give attention to my child. I did some passion projects to keep myself busy while finding a few casual connections to fend off the loneliness. What I came to realize that was at 37, single, and gainfully employed the women will come. For the first time in my life I was telling women "We're better as friends" if they didn't stand up to what I was looking for.
I made sure to fortify the bond with my child and make sure it remains the top priority in my life.

Don't worry about what you can't control and work on yourself/existing relationships. You're in the power position and if you internalize that others will easily see it.

I don’t post much but figured I’d chime in.

I lost my wife of 5 years a year and half ago at 36 to cancer. We had a 4 year old at the time and I thought my life was over. I was left with her loss, mountains of medical bills, and a little girl without her mom.

Some of the hardest days were months after but eventually things turn around if you keep going. Make sure you’ve got a good support system even if it’s professional help.

I eventually got back on the wagon and put myself back out there. While I miss her daily I met someone new and the sun is starting to shine again.

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Those are rare. You should be paying him.

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Didn't do anything to that huge steel bumper they have. Guy didn't want any of my info.

So coming home from family vacation (Gulf Shores) I stopped at a gas station to get my kid something to drink. I walk outside to find some baw in a mid 90s F250 backed out his his space too sharply and caught the bottom part of my vehicle. He was driving away until the wife created a scene which got him to pull back in.

Here's what I've got -

Guy had current State Farm policy - Under flooring company as holder
Guy driving didn't have his license on him
Passenger did and got a copy of his

Called the cops and they told me to kick rocks as its private property.

Now State Farm is saying they can't get in touch with the policy holder. It's been about a week since I opened the claim.

How screwed am I? Should I involve my insurance? My vehicle is brand new and its probably 2-4k in damage I'd assume. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

I have the new 14 inch and it's absolutely amazing. This is coming from a $2,500 Windows gaming laptop and a MBP before that.

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6) sounds like you’re giving advice on insurance but didn’t happen to mention life. Should seem obvious that you have some sort of life insurance policy in place, and you seem way too smart and conservative not to. But a term-life on you, if you don’t have it, + a will would be pretty critical things to not wait another 6 months to put in place.

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Ah yes I assumed that went without saying. I do now have to consider my child in the event I die which will involve a trust, my family, and increasing the current amount from 400k to 1-2MM or more depending. I plan to seek help from estate lawyers/finance professionals to structure this properly.

Thanks for the detailed reply! All of this really opens my eyes to possible paths and will without a doubt help me find the right direction. I am a SME in my field but it does not involve finances so the free info helps greatly before I start paying for it. While this place produces lots of useless noise there's also gems to be found. Given my age there's not a lot of good first hand experience in my peer group.

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And again, I wouldn’t rush into a big decision about moving, selling your primary residence, changing jobs, etc. until you get some grief counseling and get some time with your unexpected life change.

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Yep. I'm already doing this and have been told that by multiple people. Just rounding up possible moves I can make to think over until its time. Thanks for your input.

I saw the other thread so I'm fairly certain I know what I'm going to get here but wanted to run my unique situation by the MT hive mind.

My wife passed away recently and left me with $400k in life insurance and a paid for home that we do not live in. It was a family members and we were planning to rent it with it as a safety net. Here's some data about my current situation -

Age - 35
Primary home mortgage - 196k @ 4% 5 years in/worth ~$260k
Other debt - ~$10k at various rates
Retirement - 401k/RothIRA - Little to nothing in there because of her illness
I make $130k per year and have 1 child under 5.

The secondary house needs work to be rentable and is worth about 120,000. Insurance is 3k per year and property tax $450. I'd say it needs 10k to bring it up to snuff for renters.

I know I should max out my IRA and 401k. I am unsure what to do with the extra house as I believe it'll bring in about 1000 per month at the most. The neighborhood its in was great in the 50s but now is meh. I also want to make sure my child has something for the future. Part of me wants to sell the secondary home and use the money to invest as the trouble of dealing with renters does not seem appealing short term, however, long term might be a great stepping stone for retirement/buying more properties.


If you need any other info let me know.

P.S. I do plan to take my little one on the most spectacular trip to Disney this summer with some of the money. I also plan to sell both our cars and put that into something new because of the memories.

I now totally understand why we once institutionalized people like this. Inmates running the asylum has also become an actual thing for our country.

I also work for a large home health agency but don't interact with patients or other people in general. Will not comply will not quit.