Scammer Protection for Aging Parents

change the wifi password on his devices

First off let me express my condolences on what you are going through. Both of my parents suffered from LBD (Lewy Body Disease) that became acute in 2017. They were diagnosed by Duke Medical Center in North Carolina. My dad was scammed by those internet criminals and lost several thousand dollars before we discovered it. We did not have the bank setup to notify us of any large withdrawls or transfers. We did move his money from his checking account to a new checking account.
When it was discovered we disabled his computer by removing the video card and the hard drive, then told him it was broken. Within a few days he accepted it and stopped asking to get it fixed. As for driving, we took his keys, then moved all his vehicles to my sisters house and told him the truth. "Dad you can no longer drive, and this is for your own good." Within a week he came up with the story that his cars were all stolen, and that fit in with th narrative of his first car, a 1949 Ford Coupe, that really was stolen back in the early 50's. After that he never complained about not driving. Dementia is a heart wrenching disease. Prayers for you, and your family.

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First off let me express my condolences on what you are going through. Both of my parents suffered from LBD (Lewy Body Disease) that became acute in 2017. They were diagnosed by Duke Medical Center in North Carolina. My dad was scammed by those internet criminals and lost several thousand dollars before we discovered it. We did not have the bank setup to notify us of any large withdrawls or transfers. We did move his money from his checking account to a new checking account.
When it was discovered we disabled his computer by removing the video card and the hard drive, then told him it was broken. Within a few days he accepted it and stopped asking to get it fixed. As for driving, we took his keys, then moved all his vehicles to my sisters house and told him the truth. "Dad you can no longer drive, and this is for your own good." Within a week he came up with the story that his cars were all stolen, and that fit in with th narrative of his first car, a 1949 Ford Coupe, that really was stolen back in the early 50's. After that he never complained about not driving. Dementia is a heart wrenching disease. Prayers for you, and your family.

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Thanks for that. Man, this is tough. Watching the man that raised me, taught me how to fish, hunt, ride a bike, math, etc. become someone else is gut wrenching. He's slowly fading away. It's worse than if he was slowly dying from a physical ailment. If he had cancer at least he would still be "himself" until the end. This is like he's transforming in to a stranger, and then a child, and then an infant.

Yeah I'm thinking as much as it may suck, disabling his PC may be the way we have to go. He will probably end up taking his PC to the computer store across the way that he has help him with all his tech support stuff. I feel sorry for those guys. I bet they groan when he walks in the doors.

Same will probably happen with his keys. It's going to be a tough conversation for sure. I feel even more frustrated because I don't live there. I'm 350 miles away from BTR in Houston. My younger brother tries to help but he's got his own shite he's going through and he and my dad's relationship isn't great. Dad will not listen to him.

My mom is also doing her best, but she's really not cut out for dealing with any tech stuff and minding after my dad night and day is wearing on her.

I don;t think it's time to start looking in to assisted living, but it's certainly in his future.

As for the internet scammers, I hope those ratbastards burn in hell.

I can sympathize with the distance issue. My folks were in Chapel Hill, NC., and I am in Louisiana on the northshore. Lucky for me my sister lives in Chapel Hill, and both parents trusted her. There is so much I could tell you, but TD forums aren't the place, especially for something like this. Good luck with your father, and my last advice is take his keys before you disable the computer. If you get the chance I'd also contact the computer store and tell them what is happening, then ask them not to fix your father's computer. Good luck, your family will be in our prayers.

Sorry you are going through that. My dad had full Alzheimer's/dementia for a few years before he passed. That's the worst thing I've ever experienced. For better or worse, he was bedridden and couldn't cause any harm like that.

Even though my mom is ok still, many years ago I basically took over their financial/investment accounts (userids, passwords etc). With her permission of course.

-I consolidated all of their investment/retirement accounts to Fidelity where I have authorized/POA access.
-For their existing checking account, I keep just enough in there to cover regular monthly bills like utilities.
-I cancelled her credit card and got her a card under my account. I get an alert on any transaction.

My mom has no online access to any of those accounts. She doesn't drive anymore either. So the credit card is the main thing she could get scammed into using but I'm not worried about as much. I suppose she could call into Fidelity. But if she starts asking to making transfers/wires which she has never done, I hope it would get flagged.

Also Fidelity has a "money transfer lockdown" feature you can enable online per account. This basically stops any outgoing electronic transfers/wires initiated through Fidelity and blocks ACATS transfer.

ACATS is the process for electronic transfer of assets between brokerages. As far as I know Fidelity is the only brokerage that lets you block ACATS online. You might be able to call into other brokerages and do this.

While it doesn't happen alot currently, there have been reports where thieves opened an account at one brokerage in the name of someone. Then they initiated ACATS transfer to another brokerage and those assets got transferred.

I have the lockdown turned on all of my Fidelity accounts too. It's a little annoying that I have to turn it off anytime I want to move money but I can live with it.