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Started By
Message
Pfizer Assures That Vaccine Is Almost As Safe For Kids As COVID
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:27 pm
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:27 pm
NEW YORK, NY—After conducting several trials, Pfizer has announced that their vaccine is now almost as safe for kids as getting COVID is.
"We are very proud of this achievement," said a Pfizer spokesperson. "We can now confidently say that there is only a very small chance your child will suffer life-altering complications or death from the vaccine. Chances are still a bit higher than the chances of your kid dying from COVID, but hey! Give us some credit here! Not bad, huh?"
Experts confirmed that even though there is a statistically 0% chance of kids dying from COVID, parents should still require kids to get the vaccine immediately, to make up for Pfizer's financial loss from the FDA not approving booster shots right away.
"Besides," said one expert, "kids are puny and can't even fight back with their skinny little arms and legs. Just get them vaccinated—to protect yourself—since your safety is the highest priority here."
Pfizer is hoping they can get kids fully vaccinated before their Q3 sales numbers come out.
ALMOST AS SAFE
This post was edited on 9/20/21 at 12:40 pm
7
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:28 pm to TigerVespamon
It's not safe, I'm in the hospital with my wife from a stroke she suffered yesterday from the "vaccine"
I'm beyond passed, the nurse treating her had a seizure the same day she took her Pfizer, so fuq u vaccine bros.
I'm beyond passed, the nurse treating her had a seizure the same day she took her Pfizer, so fuq u vaccine bros.
This post was edited on 9/20/21 at 12:30 pm
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:29 pm to SouthernHog
Terrible!
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:30 pm to TigerVespamon
I wonder how often Babylon Bee articles are treated seriously?
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:30 pm to SouthernHog
If Nobody believes me, I'm at the Mercy Hospital in Rogers in Room 757.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:31 pm to TigerVespamon
Babylon Bee is a national treasure. 
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:31 pm to SouthernHog
Praying for your family brother
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:32 pm to TigerVespamon
Had me until the “ not bad huh “ part . I really was starting to wonder how far down the rabbit hole this was going .
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:35 pm to SouthernHog
quote:
t's not safe, I'm in the hospital with my wife from a stroke she suffered yesterday from the "vaccine"
How soon after the getting the vaccine did she have a stroke? How did the doctors determine the vaccine caused it?So sorry to hear your wife had a stroke.
This post was edited on 9/20/21 at 12:36 pm
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:39 pm to ThuperThumpin
She Had the last shot the day Arkansas played Texas, so a little over a week ago. ER wanted to chalk it up to a migraine and send her home, neurologist gave orders for MRI and found the stroke in her brain. They are trying to blame the birth control but several Dr's have said its not the birth control.
This post was edited on 9/20/21 at 12:42 pm
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:55 pm to TigerVespamon
Kids do not need it. They should not be taking this.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 12:56 pm to SouthernHog
quote:
Had the last shot the day Arkansas played Texas, so a little over a week ago. ER wanted to chalk it up to a migraine and send her home, neurologist gave orders for MRI and found the stroke in her brain. They are trying to blame the birth control but several Dr's have said its not the birth control.
That's crazy man. My wife just had an MRI this past Friday because we thought she might be having a stroke. Was only 5 days after the second vaccine dose.
Ended up just being a migraine and some high blood pressure. She doesn't get migraines though. I can't help but think it's related.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 1:53 pm to SouthernHog
quote:
She Had the last shot the day Arkansas played Texas, so a little over a week ago. ER wanted to chalk it up to a migraine and send her home, neurologist gave orders for MRI and found the stroke in her brain. They are trying to blame the birth control but several Dr's have said its not the birth control.
A close friend's mom had the same thing happen. Took the jab and within 24 hours had a stroke. She's currently in the hospital and may never come out. This is happening way too often for it to be coincidence.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 2:32 pm to salty1
A guy in my Bible study group.. Same thing.. Has been in TIRR Rehab in Texas for a month post second Covid shot. Hoping for a full recovery, but not sure..
Posted on 9/20/21 at 3:22 pm to Tigahs24Seven
This thread is kind of disturbing.
Would you guys mind starting a different thread or stating in the op that a different discussion than the original Babylon bee article discussion is happening?
Good luck, everyone.
Would you guys mind starting a different thread or stating in the op that a different discussion than the original Babylon bee article discussion is happening?
Good luck, everyone.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 3:58 pm to SouthernHog
Prayers to your family. Stay strong.
Posted on 9/20/21 at 5:48 pm to TigerVespamon
May they burn in hell if they harm the children 
Posted on 9/20/21 at 7:02 pm to TigerVespamon
quote:
Experts confirmed that even though there is a statistically 0% chance of kids dying from COVID, parents should still require kids to get the vaccine immediately, to make up for Pfizer's financial loss from the FDA not approving booster shots right away.
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