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re: When it comes to cheating, who is more to blame: the married or the mistress?
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:05 pm to SixthAndBarone
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:05 pm to SixthAndBarone
quote:
She has nothing to do with a vow, he does.
Right. Just an innocent bystander actively participating.
1
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:07 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
Right. Just an innocent bystander actively participating.
Karma is going to come her way, but she isn't responsible for someone else's marriage.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:08 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
Karma is going to come her way, but she isn't responsible for someone else's marriage.
Not responsible for the marriage. 50% responsible for the affair.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:09 pm to BamaCoaster
Based on your wife's answer age you sure it's yours?
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:09 pm to Oates Mustache
Well yea.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:10 pm to BamaCoaster
quote:
But SHE didn't make the vow, so SHE didn't break a vow of her own.
So, how is it 50/50?
Is this the old, "she tripped and fell into his dick" argument? She's an active participant, knowing he's married.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:11 pm to Oates Mustache
If I caught my wife cheating with a man who was aware she was married, I'd shake his hand.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:12 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
Is this the old, "she tripped and fell into his dick" argument? She's an active participant, knowing he's married.
Right. But, he is the one who made a vow.
She did not.
So, in your mind, whether one makes a vow is irrelevant to the blame for marriage strife?
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:14 pm to BamaCoaster
Both equally.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:14 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
If I caught my wife cheating with a man who was aware she was married, I'd shake his hand.
That sounds less like moral clarity and more like emotional detachment.
That’s easy to say hypothetically. Real life isn’t that emotionally clean.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:17 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
He broke the vow. She helped break it. Math isn’t hard. That's a 50/50 equation where if the mistress didn't exist, it wouldn't happen.
And if she didn't know he was married?
I went on three dates with a guy that was married once without knowing he was married (this was pre-dating apps/social media being mainstream so much easier to get away with). Ended it when his wife called me from his cell phone (where I was listed as "Tom"). That also 50/50 accountability?
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:18 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
That sounds less like moral clarity and more like emotional detachment.
That’s easy to say hypothetically. Real life isn’t that emotionally clean.
I'd agree. Your responses have been emotional whereas I tend to use logic. I can understand your hurt.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:18 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
And if she didn't know he was married?
I went on three dates with a guy that was married once without knowing he was married (this was pre-dating apps/social media being mainstream so much easier to get away with). Ended it when his wife called me from his cell phone (where I was listed as "Tom"). That also 50/50 accountability?
How would it be? I was pretty clear with the "knowingly" part.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:19 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
And if she didn't know he was married?
Then that doesn't apply. I'm saying that if you knew he was married and continued to date him then you would share some of the blame.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:20 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
I'd agree. Your responses have been emotional whereas I tend to use logic. I can understand your hurt.
That’s not logic. That’s emotional avoidance dressed up as intellect. You so wicked smaht.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:20 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
I'd agree. Your responses have been emotional whereas I tend to use logic. I can understand your hurt.
What are you a damn robot?.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:21 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
That’s not logic. That’s emotional avoidance dressed up as intellect. You so wicked smaht.
Negative. I'd be very emotional. I would leave my wife and cry in the bathtub for 6 months.
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:23 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
Negative. I'd be very emotional. I would leave my wife and cry in the bathtub for 6 months.
Then it isn’t logic, you just proved emotions are driving this. That's selective emotions.
Don't worry though, I'd come help you. I'd take you out for a night on the town.
This post was edited on 1/15/26 at 6:24 pm
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:25 pm to ATrillionaire
quote:
I'd be very emotional. I would leave my wife and cry in the bathtub for 6 months.
After you shook the guy's hand who was banging your wife of course. Even though he knew y'all were married. What if it was a friend of yours? Or your brother? Does he share any of the blame in that scenario?
Posted on 1/15/26 at 6:25 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
smart.
Then it isn’t logic, you just proved emotions are driving this. That's selective emotions.
Pretty sure this aligns with my argument that the cheating spouse carries all the responsibility. I cry because I am angry with her, I hate her, I love her, I miss her.
I don't waste one moment thinking abt the guy.
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