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re: What were some funny things your high school coach did/said?
Posted on 8/12/15 at 11:35 pm to chitiger92
Posted on 8/12/15 at 11:35 pm to chitiger92
Our line backer coach once yelled this across the feild
"RAPE HIM!!! MOLEST HIM!!!"
"RAPE HIM!!! MOLEST HIM!!!"
0
Posted on 8/12/15 at 11:43 pm to JackTMed
quote:
Broadmoor. No doubt
RIP Coach Hill...you crazy SOB.
Posted on 8/13/15 at 12:47 am to PawnMaster
1st day of practice for high school practice. Our position coach was riding us hard trying to weed out the weak. He pointed to half and said go right and the other half go left. One kid(who went on to play in the NFL) went left when he should have gone left. Coach jumped his arse, "boy, are you a fricking retard? Are you in special fricked ed? You going to ride the short bus when school starts?" Everyone of us were scared shitless...
He'd get so pissed and garble his words we literally couldn't understand what he was saying - he would turn tomato red and spit every fricking where.
Our HC in jr. high used to call say we got off the bus like a bunch of gypsies if we didn't get off at a speed he liked.
My first year - 4th grade. I was chunkie kid. We were doing bear walks and my coach said " G D boy, I've see smaller rear ends on pick up trucks"
He'd get so pissed and garble his words we literally couldn't understand what he was saying - he would turn tomato red and spit every fricking where.
Our HC in jr. high used to call say we got off the bus like a bunch of gypsies if we didn't get off at a speed he liked.
My first year - 4th grade. I was chunkie kid. We were doing bear walks and my coach said " G D boy, I've see smaller rear ends on pick up trucks"
Posted on 8/13/15 at 3:38 am to PawnMaster
HS baseball coach. He'd been coaching at the school for about 7/8 years. He was in his mid-50's, great technical knowledge, knew the game really well, but was completely emotionally unstable.
During one of the first practices my freshman year, he called a stop to practice and told everyone to circle around him. He told us we were practicing like shite...He then proceeded to tell us the details of his divorce (10 years prior) and how sad he was when he had to tell his young son that he was leaving. He then started crying uncontrollably. - please keep in mind that this was during the middle of practice - I felt really bad for him until I saw the juniors and seniors holding back laughter because they were used to that awkward shite.
That type of scenario was common throughout the year. If we were half-assing it in practice he would call everyone together to scream at us and then he'd give us words of wisdom to "make us better men."
Some of the topics:
-his addiction to pornography and how he was trying to fight it. Described the first time he ever saw a naked lady.
-described how he lost his virginity
-told us there were exercises you can do to make your dick bigger. He didn't didnt go into detail, he just use that as an example to show us that you can always improve
-started crying and told us that after his divorce he used to get drunk and pick up his 10 year old son from his mom's house and take him to baseball games to help instill the love of the game in him
-told us that he was banging a high school senior at another school. No one believed him
-told us that he had the biggest dick of anyone on the field and that he was ready to prove it
I only got to experience one year of The Legend. He got fired after my freshman year. Supposedly he was actually having sex with a HS girl at another school. We told stories of him to every new group of kids each year. I'll never forget that guy.
During one of the first practices my freshman year, he called a stop to practice and told everyone to circle around him. He told us we were practicing like shite...He then proceeded to tell us the details of his divorce (10 years prior) and how sad he was when he had to tell his young son that he was leaving. He then started crying uncontrollably. - please keep in mind that this was during the middle of practice - I felt really bad for him until I saw the juniors and seniors holding back laughter because they were used to that awkward shite.
That type of scenario was common throughout the year. If we were half-assing it in practice he would call everyone together to scream at us and then he'd give us words of wisdom to "make us better men."
Some of the topics:
-his addiction to pornography and how he was trying to fight it. Described the first time he ever saw a naked lady.
-described how he lost his virginity
-told us there were exercises you can do to make your dick bigger. He didn't didnt go into detail, he just use that as an example to show us that you can always improve
-started crying and told us that after his divorce he used to get drunk and pick up his 10 year old son from his mom's house and take him to baseball games to help instill the love of the game in him
-told us that he was banging a high school senior at another school. No one believed him
-told us that he had the biggest dick of anyone on the field and that he was ready to prove it
I only got to experience one year of The Legend. He got fired after my freshman year. Supposedly he was actually having sex with a HS girl at another school. We told stories of him to every new group of kids each year. I'll never forget that guy.
This post was edited on 8/13/15 at 3:40 am
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:03 am to PawnMaster
Freshman year we had a kicker that wore a hearing aid. The coach was talking to us about doing things the first time we were told to do them, etc... The kicker raises his hand and asks a question, which had been answered many times. The coach says, "What are you son, deaf?" to which the kicker replies, "Only partially."
Another coach, "There's not but two things you do on your knees, and footballs not one of them."
Another coach, "There's not but two things you do on your knees, and footballs not one of them."
Posted on 8/13/15 at 9:56 am to TedStickles
Before a game against a lightweight opponent some of us were joking around, waiting on coach to come in and give his speech. An assistant overheard us and said," Coach, we're about to play a game and these guys are over here talking about their goobers." Coach replied, "I bet that was a short conversation"
Another time, during a hard rain, coach said "It's raining straight down and if it don't dry up by Friday these boys from ____ are gonna leave tracks."
"Get me 5 yards and let God tell you where to go."
"If you're on time, You're late!"
Another time, during a hard rain, coach said "It's raining straight down and if it don't dry up by Friday these boys from ____ are gonna leave tracks."
"Get me 5 yards and let God tell you where to go."
"If you're on time, You're late!"
Posted on 8/13/15 at 10:22 am to TigerFanatic99
quote:
Denham Springs, late 90's, early 2000's. Can't remember his name be he was fat as frick and missing a finger and a half on his right hand. He would be sitting on his fat arse and hold up his hand with all his fingers stretched out and tell us to run 5 laps. We would get in trouble after running three or four and laughing at him.
I hated that son of a bitch.
You messed that all up.
That was coach Long, and he had a nub finger. He'd hold his hands up and say 5 laps, and everybody would smart off and say "alright fellas 4 and a half laps. Let's go!"
Posted on 8/13/15 at 10:25 am to PawnMaster
Well, we thought it was funny. My h.school j.v. basketball coach was the last O.Miss player that Cannon ran over on his famous punt return. We would always chant "he's at the 50, 40,30,20. HE SCORES" that whole wk of practice as we did lay ups. He responded; "f... Cannon"
Posted on 8/13/15 at 10:42 am to PawnMaster
" *my last name*, you're not dying, you just think you are!" - Coach Mayet at parkview during off season running when I was just a shite little freshman.
"God dammit Pete, quit moving so slow! How many fricking twinkies did you eat before practice today?" - My college offensive coordinator to my roommate
"I oughta let the QB come in here and butt frick everyone of you pieces of shite, because thats what yall are doing to him in the game!" - College OC during film to the starting OL
"God dammit Pete, quit moving so slow! How many fricking twinkies did you eat before practice today?" - My college offensive coordinator to my roommate
"I oughta let the QB come in here and butt frick everyone of you pieces of shite, because thats what yall are doing to him in the game!" - College OC during film to the starting OL
Posted on 8/13/15 at 11:03 am to PapaPogey
1-(when you screwed up) "You must be a twin...cause no one person could screw up on assignment that much."
2-Making reference to Doug Cosbie who played at one of our rival schools..."That kid is slicker than skinned back goat dick."
3-"Hey Olive Oil take off that skirt and start hitting like a man"
2-Making reference to Doug Cosbie who played at one of our rival schools..."That kid is slicker than skinned back goat dick."
3-"Hey Olive Oil take off that skirt and start hitting like a man"
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