re: What was the lowest/darkest/toughest time in ur life & how did u pull yourself out of it?

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Case of the Mondays?

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No. No, man. shite, no, man. I believe you'd get your arse kicked sayin' something like that, man.

Great thread..

I Don't know where to begin, so I'll start from the top.

Met, what I thought was the love of my life at 26 in grand junction Colorado--a nurse at a place called LaVilla Grande Nursing Home (look it up). She waited for me every night as I delivered the drugs (was a drug rep at a pharmacy) and I was too stupid to notice until a male nurse told me she wanted me.

So we begin dating and she has an ex husband: she also has a daughter from said ex. The daughter was two. Her name was Leah. She allowed him to visit their daughter whenever you pleased and all seemed good and well. We didn't want to let him know she was dating me yet so we kept it on the DL. One Sunday morning I was at her house washing clothes and eating when he comes to the door unexpectedly. I stay hidden in the back closet and wait for him to leave. She comes back a few minutes later and tells me that he was really acting weird and wanted to come in, almost forcibly. She told him Leah had been laid down to sleep and that she did not wish to wake her.

So, she says he will return later that evening to talk. I said I will return later to pick up my clothes after he leaves that evening.

Around 8:30 comes and I text her. She doesn't answer. I text again; at this moment in more irritated than concerned as I had work clothes there. So she finally answers and tells me Octavio is still there and won't leave. I proclaim I need my clothes for work. So I wait some more. I'd say, around 9:30 I text again. She sends me her final text and says he is about to leave. So I wait. And I wait. And I wait some more. I become very concerned around 10:30 and decide to leave and go to her house. I didn't know what could possibly have happened.

When i arrive to her scant neighborhood--one entrance in and out--i see crime scene tape all around the neighborhood (a nice neighborhood I might add). I park my car on the outskirts to see her house. There are few cop cars and any sign of active scene. I wait and begin panicking: my breathing gets deep as if my chest is imploding on itself; I sweat like I am in 100% humidity (although in Colorado it is zilch).

I drive home and speak to my landlord--i lived in a big Victorian house and rented the entire too floors of the building and the owner (a lawyer named Don Bell) owned the bottom floors and house. So I knew to talk to him. It was late and he had to be woke up. He and his wife speak to me and I tell them the story. He tells me to get a lawyer ASAP. He knew a guy in town. First I needed to contact LE. He told me they would not be my friend and not trust them. I told him I had to know. So I called.

It was around midnight when I called Grand Junction PD. The dispatcher had me on hold for over an hour and a half. I needed to speak to someone about Jeana Vargas I said. After this delayed period a detective came on the phone and I asked him directly if Jeana was dead. He told me she was. He said she had perished. I broke down and I believe time stood still in hell for me for a few moments. Hell was looking up at me and smiling and I had no shield. I sobbed and cried and banged my truck with my fists, head, feet for over an hour.

Without diving deeper, as it goes deeper, I end with saying I never really recovered. My family, back here in LA did not know how to deal with this. Although they were loving they had no clue how to console. I moved back home as I could not bare living there anymore.

My story gets worse. Way worse. But for her daughter Leah it will be a nightmare she will mever forget. She was a beautiful child. She smiled and loved her mother so much. Yet she was there when her own father butchered her worse than OJ Simpson. The brother of this man Octavio was notified by Octavio himself and arrived to find the girl holding her mother soaked in blood.


I've never lied on this forum. And I never will.


You will survive it and you will nut up and you will soldier on. You won t quit and you won't pussy out. There is ALWAYS SOMEONE who has experienced something similar to yourself in pain. You are a strong man/woman and you have the strength to survive within you. If my sorry arse can make it through this loss and then coming down with Ulcerative Colitis and likely losing my colon you also can overcome.

Never give in; NEVER quit.

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One Sunday morning I was at her house washing clothes and eating when he comes to the door unexpectedly. I stay hidden in the back closet and wait for him to leave.

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That story is horrifying and I'm sorry for your loss but what was your reasoning for hiding in a closet if they were already broke up?

Damn bro. I’m sorry to hear that and so sad for the little girl. I just Googled the story and found this.

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GRAND JUNCTION, Colo.—Mesa County sheriff’s officials say an inmate accused of stabbing his wife to death killed himself in his cell. Sheriff Stan Hilkey says 25-year-old Octavio Vargas-Herrera hanged himself Thursday night with a sheet off a sprinkler head.

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GRAND JUNCTION, Colo.—Grand Junction police say a 24-year-old man killed his wife by stabbing her several times in the neck in front of their 2-year-old daughter. Police say Octavio Vargas-Herrera told detectives he killed his wife Sunday evening after she told him she didn’t love him anymore. Police say Vargas-Herrera’s brother, Luis Vargas, found the body of 23-year-old Jeana Ann Vargas at her home. Grand Junction Police say Vargas told police his brother dropped of his daughter at their mother’s home Sunday night but didn’t come into the house. Vargas says his brother told him he had killed his wife and that he was going to kill himself.

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Our little life is just a blip on the radar. Nothing but a speed bump.

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I had a massive fear of speed bumps.

I slowly got over it.

nm

The week before she was murdered he had acted irrationally and she had actually called the police. So a week before he finally went through with the murder he had acted threatening.

During the week leading up to her murder I saw her every night and she told me she wasn't worried at all--he was a small guy and nothing to get worried about in my mind. I never contemplated he was a murderous man. She wasn't ready to tell him she was with someone else yet. It was her call. We both did not take the weird actions by himself seriously enough the week before.

I still believe had he came in that morning more than one would have died. I had a knife myself in the closet. He would have died as he did not know where I was and neither did she. I moved rooms. We were not expecting him that early. He was suppose to arrive that evening to pick up Leah for the week.

It was a sudden reaction to the unexpected. She even joked the week leading up to her death that she could take him. All is rather morbid now mentioning it.

She was a bright young lady. She loved her daughter and came from a broke home herself. She was raised by her foster parents who she claims were god send. Her parents were meth heads.

And the irony is her daughter followed her steps into foster care. The police would not allow me to adopt. Said it had to be parents. The police actually shut me down completely from going to funeral or contacting anyone outside the immediate family she told about me.

The SVU head psychiatrist told me that Jeana's foster sister, whom she was bonded to fondly, had told then she wanted to meet the man Jeana had told her, "was her soul mate". When I say I broke down in the police station for ever, I meant it. My closest friends at that time were the police oddly enough. I was new to town and only knew a few people. Also my place of employment was right next door to the station.

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187undercover

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I hope that girl can someday live a somewhat normal life. That's so heartbreaking.

And I hope you someday are able to shed the guilt, grief, anger, and sadness you must understandably feel I'm sure everyday.

I can't imagine.

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Sad story. Sounds like they may have just been separated. I don’t want to derail this thread though.

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Yeah, I regret that post. About to delete.