TulaneLSU's Top 10 face masks

Dear Friends,

Do you walk by faith or by sight? I suppose we all walk by a little of both, depending on what our needs are at that moment. Walking by faith is hard, almost impossible, in a materialistic country like America. So much of our culture is all about the physical, the material, the stuff on which we can put our fingers and around which we can grasp with our hands. We want some terra firma on which to stomp our feet, grab some dirt, and plant a flag. I mean, when God came to Abram and told him that at age 100, and with a wife of 90, he would become the father of children as numerous as the stars in the sky, Abram laughed because he thought it impossible; it was beyond the realm of the empirical data of his life. Abram wanted some evidence, you know? He wanted something in which he could sink his senses, to touch, and know in this physical world. He laughed and Sarai laughed too. But in the end, they became Abraham and Sarah. How many children of the faith claim them as their parents?

But then we come to a point when our everyday lives, our culture, our economy, our sports, indeed, every aspect of the American life is dictated and controlled by faith that there is something floating about, something imperceptible to the human eye and most microscope lenses, sickening and killing. One need not go too long walking through a hospital to see with the eye that our faith is indeed placed in something that is real.

The anti-mask movement I see pains me. It pains Mother, primus inter pares, as well. To see that movement infect my beloved OT has left me in tears more than every night for the last month. It calls to mind those left wing San Franciscan loons who formed the Anti-Mask League in 1919 in response to a city ordinance requiring masks in public. Despite what all the science says -- that masks cut transmission -- some mock the mask as an intrusion on their personal liberty. What's the big deal if only the diabetic and hypertensive and nursing home patient are really at risk for death (a false premise)? Ignored are the words of our dear friend, St. Paul: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." If wearing a mask helps prevent transmission, the masks will help open our economy again. The mask seems a small price of personal liberty to pay for the health of our community and the health of our economy. As our duty to others comes before our rights as individuals, for what good is a right if no one is duty-bound to protect it, brothers and sisters, friends, I plead with you to wear a mask.

To that end, I would like to share with you some of my favorite masks that I have procured over the months. These are not the best masks around; they are simply my top 10. I hope some of you will share your masks, perhaps share a top 10 list of masks you own. I must, however, also apologize for this letter being so brief. I have again returned to the lab to restart my vaccination studies. My last attempts were grossly unsuccessful and caused quite the mess and stink. Thankfully, Mother was quarantined at the family compound in Mississippi so she missed my painstaking efforts which produced sudoriferous emanations from my body and mephitic fumes from my subjects. Mother has once again fled to the estate for another round of quarantine. Please pray for her, as this time, she is alone.

TulaneLSU's Top 10 face masks

10. Psychedelic orange



Mother's seamstress, who lives in St. Rose, has expanded her business recently to include face masks. While many of her cloth samples are lovely, this one was not. I would not be caught dead in public wearing this horrific 70s style cloth, unless I had no resort.


9. Sam's rotisserie chicken mask



As some of you will recall from my Perfect 10 Ezekiel 24 chicken rice soup, I gave directions on transforming a cover for a Sam's rotisserie chicken into a face shield, using just a knife and two Fuzzy Sticks. I must confess that this mask was not very helpful, as I could feel my breath escaping from below. In the summer heat, it also fogs up, which causes a safety hazard like the one I experienced on Dumaine on my olive mix errand. The benefit of being able to see another's lips while they talk may help those who are mute, but I have nonetheless stopped using it.


8. Floral design




This design seems better suited for a couch on Designing Women. Mother quite likes the print, but it is too feminine for me.

7. Watermelon




Few things say summer better than tomatoes and watermelon. What better to wear when tending your crop row or going to the local farm to purchase some fresh produce, as I did in Elberta, AL.