re: Thoughts on a big wake and funeral for suicide?

Are you asking this because his death was by suicide? Or are you just asking about funerals in general? (And this may have been asked already, I haven't read the whole thread)

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I mainly was retaliating on your attack on my comment about suicide being a selfish act. While i prefaced it with people having a mental condition to think it is a way out, that doesnt negate the fact that suicide IS the more selfish thing someone can do.

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That's your opinion but I just happen to think it's not a very good one. The term "selfish" implies that one can even consider the minds of others when they're in a suicidal state. That isn't always the case. You can look back retrospectively and call it selfish, but that's really more of a projection and it's shortsighted. People in depression suffer from what's called hypofrontality which is an indication that their prefrontal cortex is not working optimally. And, since you know the brain, you know that the prefrontal cortex is the executive control center of our brain and the interface between our emotional and cognitive areas. Seems pretty clear to me that if there is a dysfunction in that executive control/emotion interface, you've got a serious problem. One that can't be simply reduced to "selfishness".

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And to thing that all people that do commit suicide are mentally ill could also be a misconception. Im sure plenty of people that have dont it are completely sane.

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Possibly. Doesn't discount the fact, though.

Okay, so you don't mean selfish in a pejorative sense. Maybe you should pick a word without negative connotation because "selfish" tacitly implies the person is being deliberate in their disregard of others.

You misunderstood my comment. I was agreeing with Klark Kent that we shouldn't make them heroes. Never accused anyone.

I'm in agreement with all your comments in this thread.

Apologies for the dolt comment, then.

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And to thing that all people that do commit suicide are mentally ill could also be a misconception. Im sure plenty of people that have done it are completely sane.

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Just when I think there is nothing on TD that will surprise me I read this.

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I guess we all grieve differently but if it was my family member I would want a small family only service.

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That's for the family to decide. Was he suffering from depression? Should his wake and funeral be treated different because it was a suicide?

Personally, I don't want the whole wake in the evening, funeral the next day thing. No reason for people to put their life on pause for several days, when it can all be knocked out in one day.. But everyone is different and you just have to respect whatever they decide to do.

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I dont personally think the life of somebody who takes their own life deserves the same pomp and circumstance as other ways to die

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You think you'd still feel the same if it was your mother or wife or child?

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And to thing that all people that do commit suicide are mentally ill could also be a misconception. Im sure plenty of people that have done it are completely sane.

Hell people nowadays are getting sex changes and think they identify as being gender fluid. To me that is mental illness, while it is getting celebrated across society.

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Wait wait wait.

You think getting a sex change requires some sort of mental issue but killing yourself does not?

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I'm not trying to disrespect anyones loss here. So please don't take it that way.

I don't see what positive you can get from this. Everyone else is left to pick up the pieces.

This guy killed himself, did not leave a note, his wife and kids now has to deal with this.

I battle everyday with PTSD and other issues. Most people who do kill themselves dont even seek out treatment.

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i agree to a certain extent. having seen how suicide can ravage a whole family and extended family with guilt, anger, depression, anxiety, and pain, it's difficult to have sympathy for the deceased.

likewise, we get angry at murderers who kill others, it's only natural that we get angry at murderers who kill themselves, especially if we love the person they took from us.