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Started By
Message
re: The wife and I made a difficult decision this weekend
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:40 pm to Deactived
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:40 pm to Deactived
quote:
He isnt offering any help either
I bet you are the same one complaining about tuition inflation and college being over saturated with folks who shouldn’t be in college.
Y’all are making it seem like he isn’t paying child support. I’m in lala land
1
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:41 pm to baldona
quote:
This thread should just be a reminder to try and save 20% always.
It should also serve as a reminder of how privileged a lot of posters here are. Some of them not only expect parents to pay tuition, they actually insult parents that don't.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:41 pm to Flashback
Flashback, I highly doubt you have the gumption to remonstrate with Paul Allen face to face.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:48 pm to 13SaintTiger
OP left a lot of information out of this thread.
I would like some of these questions answered.
OP owns a pool. How much other shite has him and his wife wasted money on.
Are the kids good students right now?
Are they interested in anything specific like a major or profession?
If he can say yes to both of those questions, he should help them out imo.
I would like some of these questions answered.
OP owns a pool. How much other shite has him and his wife wasted money on.
Are the kids good students right now?
Are they interested in anything specific like a major or profession?
If he can say yes to both of those questions, he should help them out imo.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:49 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
they actually insult parents that don't.
Hell yeah I'll insult some parents that don't offer to pay for their kids college, if they are using it to pay for something else of their own. Most Americans live way above their means for one. One poster already said OP had a pool. Don't care if that's true, but a perfect example. Boom, pool is 4 years of college tuition.
I'm saying 4 years of in state is $50k. Big chunk of money no doubt, that's like a f150 platinum.
Eta: but furthermore, this is an SEC forum. As in the southeastern universities. Most posters are college graduates with college graduate wives. So 2 college incomes, or choosing 1. Therefore if you are not making a household income of $100k by the time your kid hits 18 then you've made some decisions to not do so.
This post was edited on 8/12/18 at 11:53 pm
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:52 pm to baldona
quote:
One poster already said OP had a pool. Don't care if that's true, but a perfect example. Boom, pool is 4 years of college tuition.
So? I'm assuming op worked for that pool. He seems to think that his children can do the same. I don't see the issue.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:52 pm to baldona
quote:
Hell yeah I'll insult some parents that don't offer to pay for their kids college, if they are using it to pay for something else of their own. Most Americans live way above their means for one. One poster already said OP had a pool. Don't care if that's true, but a perfect example. Boom, pool is 4 years of college tuition. I'm saying 4 years of in state is $50k. Big chunk of money no doubt, that's like a f150 platinum.
And so parents are just a means to an end huh?
Man, you people are garbage.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:54 pm to Deactived
The kids love that pool baw.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:55 pm to Deactived
TBH, assuming most of the accusations are true, then the OP is a cautionary tale of what happens at the end of the road of “keeping up with the Joneses”/assuming things will just work out financially.
Regardless of the side discussion of if a parent should or shouldn’t cover college, the fact remains that they wanted to, right up till the numbers caught up with them and they couldn’t just assume it would magically work out anymore.
Cover your retirement needs, and then save and invest in addition folks!
It might require a major belt tightening at first but the freedom you’ll possess later will make it worth it.
Regardless of the side discussion of if a parent should or shouldn’t cover college, the fact remains that they wanted to, right up till the numbers caught up with them and they couldn’t just assume it would magically work out anymore.
Cover your retirement needs, and then save and invest in addition folks!
It might require a major belt tightening at first but the freedom you’ll possess later will make it worth it.
This post was edited on 8/12/18 at 11:58 pm
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:55 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
So? I'm assuming op worked for that pool. He seems to think that his children can do the same. I don't see the issue.
it's not like parents have to suspend their own lives for their children.
I've posted in this thread that my dad paid my tuition. That was a gift to me, not an expectation. He kicked me out of the house for 6 months when I was 17 too and looking back on it I'd have kicked me out too
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:56 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
I've posted in this thread that my dad paid my tuition. That was a gift to me, not an expectation
As usual fallguy gets it.Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:58 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
So? I'm assuming op worked for that pool. He seems to think that his children can do the same. I don't see the issue.
So then OP is 'choosing' not to pay because he instead wants some luxuries of his own. It's not that he can't afford it, he's choosing not to.
That's my whole point. I love how you think it's better to not have parents pay. There's no reason that a kid can't have proper values instilled in them, appreciate their parents effort in helping them, and still have their parents assist them in leaving college debt free.
My good friends dad is a stucco guy. He grew up in a 3 room house his parents still live in, parents couldn't afford shite. Guy has a master in electrical engineering and doing great now. His dad literally couldn't afford to help him. That's understandable. Wanting to retire early in your pool and RV lifestyle, that doesn't get sympathy from me. I'm sorry.
Posted on 8/12/18 at 11:59 pm to northshorebamaman
I grew up in a bachelor pad. My parents divorced when I was a kid. My dad reminded me that he fed me because he loved me. Fight club rules
He's my best friend now.
He's my best friend now.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:06 am to baldona
quote:
So then OP is 'choosing' not to pay because he instead wants some luxuries of his own. It's not that he can't afford it, he's choosing not to.
I won't speak for op because it seems like his issue is less "won't pay" and more "can't pay", but there is nothing wrong or hypocritical about him having nice stuff. This idea that we live our lives in slavish devotion to our children is fairly new. If his kid wants a college education there are multiple ways he can do that on his own. And get this: he might grow as a person by doing it on his own. But if you're raising the average retard, I agree, go ahead and pay for everything.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:14 am to PrivatePublic
quote:Have you paid for any of their education? I guess some people love their kids enough to delay gratification and pay for their kids' higher ed.
That being that we will not be paying for our kids college
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:18 am to northshorebamaman
quote:
This idea that we live our lives in slavish devotion to our children is fairly new.
Lol. You could not be more wrong if you tried honestly. What is new is retirement, not working until your death. The slavish devotion to raising off spring has literally been around since the planet was formed.
I never once said anyone's kids deserved shite. But as a parent, I'd like to help my kids the best I can. What is wrong with that? It is very possible to instill proper values AND help pay for things.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:22 am to Jake88
That’s unfair.
It’s not a function of parental love.
It (sounds like) a case of lack of parental maturity and responsibility. They didn’t have a overall goal and therefore didn’t develop a plan to reach attain those goals.
They just did what they wanted, enjoying short term happiness and not caring if it would cost them long term.
I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if there were a multitude of big purchases “for the kids” that were regretted after the realization in the OP
And as for the guy who says this is the case of “can’t pay as opposed to won’t pay,” come the frick on man. This isn’t a family struggling to keep a roof over their kids heads and food on the table.
I’m more or less with your viewpoint but at that statement you are literally holding the kids to a higher standard of personal accountability for their choices than the parents.
It’s not a function of parental love.
It (sounds like) a case of lack of parental maturity and responsibility. They didn’t have a overall goal and therefore didn’t develop a plan to reach attain those goals.
They just did what they wanted, enjoying short term happiness and not caring if it would cost them long term.
I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if there were a multitude of big purchases “for the kids” that were regretted after the realization in the OP
And as for the guy who says this is the case of “can’t pay as opposed to won’t pay,” come the frick on man. This isn’t a family struggling to keep a roof over their kids heads and food on the table.
I’m more or less with your viewpoint but at that statement you are literally holding the kids to a higher standard of personal accountability for their choices than the parents.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 12:24 am
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:24 am to baldona
quote:
I never once said anyone's kids deserved shite. But as a parent, I'd like to help my kids the best I can. What is wrong with that? It is very possible to instill proper values AND help pay for things.
I never said anything is wrong with that. If you go back a page or two you will see where I said that both philosophies have good points.
Your side, and you in particular, just tend to be more self righteous. I blame your parents.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 12:26 am
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:25 am to 50_Tiger
quote:It depends on what you invest in.
Anyone know the average rate of return on those 529 Plans?
Posted on 8/13/18 at 12:34 am to Volvagia
quote:I don't see where OP posted enough for us to know that.
It (sounds like) a case of lack of parental maturity and responsibility.
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