re: The pains of aging

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My few months was shortened to 3 weeks.. It's an odd experience , at times an odd burden of expectations regarding your own future and a sense of relief and joy when you realize what you had..

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Not sure how I will feel. Maybe a little more alone in the world. I think it certainly changes a persons perspective of where they fit in this world.

I suppose when parents are alive we will always feel (whether true or not) that we always have someone to answer to, or to lean on. I suppose it's strange feeling like we're now at the top of the family tree.

I've always felt like an observer in this world. More of a wanderer than anything. I've accepted that and simplified my life, it makes it easier to adapt.

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my advice to you is to start trying asap and get busy being a mother. Greatest achievement and greatest experience of your life.

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I'd agree with this if somehow we didn't have to go through the 2-3 year old phase.

Once my little boy gets to be 4-5, I feel like it's going to be smooth sailing.

...or I could just be sick and tired of having toddlers. I've been having one since 2010. Now my little girl is out of that stage, I can't wait for my little boy to get past it.

Then, I don't want then to ever to grow up.

Well considering my age....we feel we will be very blessed to even have one child. I really don't want to push my luck and have a second in my 40s and risk the health of the unborn child.


So we will only have to deal with the toddler stage once.

I'm hearing all of that.

But still, you and your husband HAVE to have your own family. You HAVE to produce new life, and then also care for your other family members. You will find a way to do this. Trust in God.

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I don'thave to be pregnant to become a parent. And I don't have to even be a parent to have a lasting impact in a child's life.

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Indeed. I'm right there with you.

My wife is 10 yrs older than me and well told me I would get one child out of the deal, because she didn't want to be 40 and pregnant.

We had our first one, late 30's, no problem. I pursued an educational opportunity out of state, which put me flying home for one particular weekend, with my wife on the pill, and we got pregnant again. Wife despised the pregnancy right up until the actual birth. Best thing to ever happen to us, though. Kid is a superstar among his friends and we could not possibly imagine a life without him. God is in charge (despite all of your planning).

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Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans in life.

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You have the right attitude.

But seriously, let go of your professional experiences so they don't become hang ups and self-fulfilling prophecies.

Have a child or two asap. Relax. It is all so very good.

How old are ya?

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Heavy post upcoming, apologies beforehand...

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Contemplating mortality is heavy and sobering - but only at times, as you suggested (you phrased it "do you ever have moments")

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Do you ever have moments in your life where you remember a time period in your life vividly and don't necessarily miss it, but grieve its passing?

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Not sure I've ever grieved the passing of something I didn't miss, but I think I know what you're talking about - grieve is too strong of a word though. More like "I have no desire to be 16 again, but it's a little saddening to think that I couldn't do that again, no matter how bad I wanted to."

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Then you stack all of those phases in your life thus far and see them passing you by....

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I don't do this, and I wonder what it means that I don't and you do. I think about certain past times, but don't know that the thought of one leads me immediately to the thought of another in stacked fashion.

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Then you see your grandparents pass and your parents getting old and your children growing up, and you are spotting a grey hair or two yourself.

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Lost mom in 06 at 66, dad's doing fine - losing parents is natural, and expected. Gray hair doesn't bother me. Watching my daughter grow up now - WHOLE. DIFFERENT. LEVEL. I had something long written, but that tries to turn the thread into being about me, and you asked the question. But, yes, watching my daughter grow up stirs up almost every intense emotion that a person can experience. I'd be more worried if you've watched your kids grow up and NOT be emotionally moved or stirred at times.

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Then you realize how fast it's all moving and sooner than later you'll just be a name on the family tree, and all of your life's work and joys and anguishes will be forgotten utterly and completely.

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It has moved fast, and maybe that's why for many, the thought of their children is so deep and powerful - as it's really the only thing that keeps someone NOT forgotten utterly and completely.

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Then you find peace with the temporal nature of our existence and are able to cherish each fleeting moment. At least that's where I'm at tonight.

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There's a word for that. It's called dying.
































Just kidding. It's called maturity. Congratulations. You understand that life is fleeting, so enjoying the small successes and simple pleasures are what's important. Most of all, you understand that in the grand scheme of things, you nor your worries, toil and fret are all that important. The greatest of men understand their insignificance.

Been thinking about this lately.

As I get older, I'm more conscious about not wasting days away.

I have certain things I want to accomplish before I die. I know it's ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but some achievements can provide a sense of eternal life: having children, creating art, etc.