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Message
re: Stupid shite your wife asks...
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:42 am to bleedsgarnet
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:42 am to bleedsgarnet
It's not stupid per se, but it frustrates me to no end, which I've told her over and over, and yet...
She *always* asks a lead up question:
"Hey, are you at home?"
"Yep, what's up?"
one minute...
two minutes...
five minutes...
ten minutes...
"Hon, I was literally walking out the door when you messaged. Do you need something?"
fifteen minutes...
*leaves home*
twenty minutes...
thirty minutes...
"Hey, sorry, would you (insert whatever here)"
"I would have, but I left home fifteen minutes ago. Would you please in the future just say what you need in the first text? I waited around for fifteen minutes and *still* couldn't do what you were asking"
"Ok, yeah, I'll do that going forward:
Narrator: To this day, she has never, not once, done so...
She *always* asks a lead up question:
"Hey, are you at home?"
"Yep, what's up?"
one minute...
two minutes...
five minutes...
ten minutes...
"Hon, I was literally walking out the door when you messaged. Do you need something?"
fifteen minutes...
*leaves home*
twenty minutes...
thirty minutes...
"Hey, sorry, would you (insert whatever here)"
"I would have, but I left home fifteen minutes ago. Would you please in the future just say what you need in the first text? I waited around for fifteen minutes and *still* couldn't do what you were asking"
"Ok, yeah, I'll do that going forward:
Narrator: To this day, she has never, not once, done so...
1
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:44 am to yellowfin
“Hey babe can you grab my chap stick while you’re up?”
Drives me fricking insane. And she will have been sitting there for an hour and it’s like she’s just waiting for me to get up and then she asks.
Drives me fricking insane. And she will have been sitting there for an hour and it’s like she’s just waiting for me to get up and then she asks.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:52 am to Bronson2017
Showing her the NOAA hurricane satellite imagery. The gif loops through a couple of times.
"So I guess they just draw the state lines on there after?"
Nope. The state lines are visible from space babe.
"So I guess they just draw the state lines on there after?"
Nope. The state lines are visible from space babe.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:52 am to bleedsgarnet
“Where is/are my ......?”
Insert object that I never have anything to do with: keys, phone, sunglasses, shoes, etc
Insert object that I never have anything to do with: keys, phone, sunglasses, shoes, etc
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:55 am to bleedsgarnet
quote:that is the same thing we talk about all the time. Drives me crazy.
We have had about 5 inches of rain the last week and my wife asked me, since their were slugs under the grill cover, if I put the cover on while wet when I last covered it..
I just blankly stared at her and said "it's been a monsoon around here for a week and u think I put the grill cover on wet"?
It’s always “the slugs”. “The grill cover”. Screw that
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:55 am to bleedsgarnet
Let’s order take out...
Me: What do you want to eat?
Her: you choose, I always choose.
Me: Ok, let’s get Thai...
Her: I don’t want that..
Me: What do you want to eat?
Her: you choose, I always choose.
Me: Ok, let’s get Thai...
Her: I don’t want that..
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:56 am to CrownTownHalo
quote:now this, this really happens. Every day!
Me: What do you want to eat?
Her: you choose, I always choose.
Me: Ok, let’s get Thai...
Her: I don’t want that..
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:58 am to tigerfoot
That was a very brief version..the episode lasts at least 20 minutes until she decides on something
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:58 am to bleedsgarnet
Rewatching the National Championship this morning.
Her: “The last 5 minutes of a football game is like 45 minutes.”
Me: “It’s not the last 5 minutes, it’s only the 2nd quarter.”
Her: “How many quarters are there?”
Me:
Her: “The last 5 minutes of a football game is like 45 minutes.”
Me: “It’s not the last 5 minutes, it’s only the 2nd quarter.”
Her: “How many quarters are there?”
Me:
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:01 am to Jor Jor The Dinosaur
Lol..that’s brilliant
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:01 am to bleedsgarnet
quote:
Stupid shite your wife asks...
“Africa’s a country, right?”
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:06 am to bleedsgarnet
My husband always wants a play by play of my cooking...
Him: Does it have olive oil?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you saute the onions?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you bake it at the end?
Me: Yes. The recipe is right here. You can read it.
Him: How do you cut the tomatoes? Are they sliced?
Me: **face palm**
This will go on for at least 20 questions.
Him: Does it have olive oil?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you saute the onions?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you bake it at the end?
Me: Yes. The recipe is right here. You can read it.
Him: How do you cut the tomatoes? Are they sliced?
Me: **face palm**
This will go on for at least 20 questions.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:07 am to Solo Cam
This reminds me of a story my old boss told me about his wife.
His wife inherited some money and she was trying to decide what to do. Every day after work he would go to the bar for an hour, have a few drinks before going home.
One day she went into the bar, his buddies were around and says in her normal voice so that the people around them could hear "I figured it out. I am going to put $8000 in one bank with 2% interest and the other $8000 in another bank with 2% interest and that way I will be getting 4% interest.
* the numbers used in the story doesn't reflect the actual numbers. The point is that she thought she could double her interest by splitting up money and putting them in two different banks.
His wife inherited some money and she was trying to decide what to do. Every day after work he would go to the bar for an hour, have a few drinks before going home.
One day she went into the bar, his buddies were around and says in her normal voice so that the people around them could hear "I figured it out. I am going to put $8000 in one bank with 2% interest and the other $8000 in another bank with 2% interest and that way I will be getting 4% interest.
* the numbers used in the story doesn't reflect the actual numbers. The point is that she thought she could double her interest by splitting up money and putting them in two different banks.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:08 am to bleedsgarnet
She probably found your response to be as incomprehensible as I do.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:19 am to Eyebesmacinhose
She always mixes up cities/states.
“Boston is a state, right?”
I tried to explain Washington DC to her once. After 15 minutes my nose started bleeding and I had to quit
“Boston is a state, right?”
I tried to explain Washington DC to her once. After 15 minutes my nose started bleeding and I had to quit
This post was edited on 8/16/20 at 10:37 am
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:20 am to bleedsgarnet
Her. I hear Sam is now living in Bangkok
Me. Yes he does
Her. Oh I thought he Was living in Thailand
Me. Yes he does
Her. Oh I thought he Was living in Thailand
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:20 am to bleedsgarnet
quote:"Is it in yet?"
Stupid shite your wife asks...
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:26 am to bleedsgarnet
Is all that beer for you
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:30 am to CrownTownHalo
quote:
Let’s order take out...
Me: What do you want to eat?
Her: you choose, I always choose.
Me: Ok, let’s get Thai...
Her: I don’t want that..
This! The holy grail of aggravating endless loop dialogue...
Posted on 8/16/20 at 10:30 am to bleedsgarnet
Yesterday my wife said she wanted to go to the NO zoo. But she said it’s really hot out ... “do you think it will be inside?”
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