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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 11/21/15 at 7:37 pm to HerbEaverstinks
My pawpaw used to say about some guy working for him "that boy is as useless as a wart on a dogs dick." I never understood it but still laugh about it and use it myself. 
Posted on 11/21/15 at 7:49 pm to nes2010
When someone looks confused, my dad says "He can't tell if he found four horseshoes or lost a horse."
Posted on 11/21/15 at 9:10 pm to nes2010
Like trying to put socks on a rooster.
Raining like a double cunted cow pissing on a flat rock.
F"ck off you young whippersnapper.
Raining like a double cunted cow pissing on a flat rock.
F"ck off you young whippersnapper.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 9:57 pm to nes2010
"You've been drinking muddy water" if you were standing in front of the TV. My grandfather said this to imply you were not "see through". Get the frick out of the way...
Posted on 11/21/15 at 10:02 pm to nes2010
"I'm dying."
Posted on 11/21/15 at 10:22 pm to nes2010
Don't know the difference between a sneeze & a wet fart.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 10:24 pm to nes2010
If you had to _______ for shite, you wouldn't get the smell.
Put dem dishes in the zinc.
Hes slicker than greased weasel.
Put dem dishes in the zinc.
Hes slicker than greased weasel.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 10:37 pm to nes2010
Crazier than a shithouse rat
Don't know whether to shite or go blind
A fart longer than a well rope
Slap you nekkid and hide your clothes
Don't know whether to shite or go blind
A fart longer than a well rope
Slap you nekkid and hide your clothes
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 10:47 pm
Posted on 11/21/15 at 11:03 pm to texashorn
That old peckerwood not word a damn
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while
Posted on 11/21/15 at 11:20 pm to nes2010
Boy when I was your age my dick would get hard as a skillet handle.
Posted on 11/22/15 at 12:44 am to HogBalls
When someone slips and falls "he went down faster than a one egg pudding"
Like a calf looking at a new gate
I'm hotter than a fresh bred sheep in a pepper patch
Like a calf looking at a new gate
I'm hotter than a fresh bred sheep in a pepper patch
Posted on 11/22/15 at 8:05 am to slaughlin
Confusion:
Don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his arse.
Stupidity:
Don't know his arse from a tomato can
Wild women:
Crazy as a sprayed roach.
Don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his arse.
Stupidity:
Don't know his arse from a tomato can
Wild women:
Crazy as a sprayed roach.
Posted on 11/22/15 at 8:15 am to Vacherie Saint
If I tell you a rooster can pull a wagon, you go get the wagon
Posted on 11/22/15 at 8:26 am to Sir Drinksalot
Grandpas used to say:
Couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.
Couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.
Posted on 11/22/15 at 9:06 am to 985TigerSaint
My first job after graduating high school was with a construction company that summer, trying to make money for tuition to LSU.
We had this crusty old carpenter, we'll call him Mr. Percy. He was a mostly likable old guy, but he didn't like to have to show the newbies anything more than once.
Some guy came up to him asking something and he got fed up. His response was, "I guess I'll have to put it in for you on the wedding night."
At the time, I thought it was one of the funniest things I'd ever heard.
LC
We had this crusty old carpenter, we'll call him Mr. Percy. He was a mostly likable old guy, but he didn't like to have to show the newbies anything more than once.
Some guy came up to him asking something and he got fed up. His response was, "I guess I'll have to put it in for you on the wedding night."
At the time, I thought it was one of the funniest things I'd ever heard.
LC
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