Solution to lsu's budget woes

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“Five years after being banned from Tureaud Hall because he was caught using a glory hole there, a 60-year-old lawyer came all the way from Livingston Parish and risked his career as a city prosecutor to use a glory hole in Tureaud Hall again. Now that’s brand loyalty,” Alexander explained. “And that’s just one person who happened to get caught. There’s no telling how many other closeted men are using campus restrooms to achieve the thrill of giving pleasure to and/or receiving pleasure from an unknown person on the other side of a partition.” Alexander continued, “Whether it’s Tureaud Hall’s multiple glory holes or Coates Hall’s legendary glory hole, the demand is certainly there. So why not turn those semen streams into a revenue stream? It’s not like we’re the ones servicing strangers for money, although we haven’t completely ruled out that option.” While the exact price of admission has yet to be determined, Alexander said the plan calls for turning glory-hole-equipped stalls around campus into pay toilet stalls with locks that can be opened by inserting cash or swiping a credit or debit card. He added that students will be able to pay for glory hole access with TigerCASH, the school’s student-ID-card-based debit system.

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