Skittles Versus M & M's

King Pringle: It is my belief that skittles are the candy of choice.
Don Juan Del Marco: Then your belief is wrong my good friend, for you see, M & M's is the candy of kings.
King Pringle: Infidel, how dare you say such things!
Don Juan Del Marco: I say such things because I am Don Juan Del Marco!
King Pringle: Silence commoner! I am King Pringle! King of Pringle!
Don Juan Del Marco: I am no commoner! I am Don Juan Del Marco!
King Pringle: (Regaining composure, trying to be diplomatic) DJ...is it alright if I call you DJ? I was thinking...
Don Juan Del Marco: NO!!! I will be known only as Don Juan Del Marco!
King Pringle: Look here DJ, your name is just too long for casual conversation...
Don Juan Del Marco: AHA!!! And that is where I win! M & M's is shorter and easier to say due to the convenient and considerate initials. Skittles, on the other hand is a whole word! This is unacceptable!!
Prince Pringle: Yes, your precious M & M's may contain less letters but my skittles begin with 'sk' and it is scientifically proven that the 'sk' consonant cluster is much more soothing for the majority of the population to enunciate that the 'M' sound.
Don Juan Del Marco: Perhaps, but with M & M's, one can do possess a wide assortment of letters and numbers, right on the candy. An 'M', obviously, but also a '3', an 'E', and a 'W'. All you can claim is an 'S' and a '2' if you're lucky.
King Pringle: (Becoming Red-Faced) INFIDEL!!!
(Don Juan Del Marco laughs mockingly)
(Prince Pringle walks in from eaves dropping)
Prince Pringle: Don Juan, if you would perhaps just listen to my father...
Don Juan Del Marco: There is no Don Juan here! There is only Don Juan Del Marco!!!
Prince Pringle: but...
Don Juan Del Marco: Never! I give ear to no Pringle!!!
All Pringles: GASP!!!
Don Juan Del Marco: (Mysterious Pringles approach) Who are you?!
Praying Pringles: We are the Praying Pringles, we have come to pray for your soul.
Prince Pringle: (chiming in) Soul starts with an 'S' just like skittles...
(Room grows silent as everyone tries to figure out what Prince Pringle is saying)
Don Juan Del Marco: (frustrated) What?! What are we talking about here?! King PringleMan, what is wrong with your son?! And what is this about praying for my soul?! I am Don Juan Del Marco!!!
King Pringle: I am King Pringle!!!
Don Juan Del Marco: (Pulls out a handful of M & M's from his pocket) Melt this in your mouth King PringleMan!!!
King Pringle: (Grabs a bowl full of Skittles next to his throne) Taste the rainbow Del Marco!!!
(They both lounge forward, chaos ensues)
(continued chaos...)
(continued chaos...)
(continued chaos...)
(The Mysterious Random Wandering Arbitrator materializes in the midst of the frenzy)
Random Wandering Arbitrator: SILENCE!
(The room grows suddenly still and silent, M & M's and Skittles are mixed together all over the floor, all eyes are fixed on the recently materialized mysterious Random Wandering Arbitrator)
Random Wandering Arbitrator: You shall both compromise. The two candies will be combined and thereby be called 'El Skittems & M's'!
All: BUT...
Random Wandering Arbitrator: Silence!!! I, the Random Wandering Arbitrator, have spoken!
All: Yes! And we shall pay heed, for we have experienced the glorious joy of witnessing the materialization of the mysterious Random Wandering Arbitrator!


And that was how it stood for years. The candy was shortened to 'El Skittems'. Through a Spanish to English translation, it became known as 'The Skittems'. They were so good, however, that it became known, over time, as 'The Great Skittems'. Through various translations, wars, and rumors of wars, they became known as 'The Great Schizm'. Somehow or another, the Roman Catholic Church got blamed for this mistake.

THE END