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re: Should I be ashamed?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:43 pm to Spaceman Spiff
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:43 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
On the surface, the OP appears to be like a lovesick puppy who so desperately wants the same - but is not getting it, so he will take what he can get.
He's said multiple times he would have gone back to just chasing random pussy had he known what was up. You're greatly minimizing, and assuming, that this girl's role in a seven month encounter. Again, none of my FWB ever left an iPad at my house or cooked me dinner. She obviously was toeing the line of SO and welcomed the attention.
quote:
She made it clear
Except she didn't, in any possible interpretation.
2
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:46 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
welcomed the attention
What one doesn't?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:50 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
What one doesn't?
We literally just went through this. You can't simulaneously argue she should shoulder no blame but also that she's a woman and immature behavior should be expected. Believe it or not there are women out there capable of acting like adults.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:56 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
Believe it or not there are women out there capable of acting like adults.
True, but they get snatched up by worthier men pretty early.
Also, found this little nugget in the OP's post history. Yes, I know it's creepy to go through someone's post history but at least it was on the first page.
quote:
(Posted on 5/27/14 at 10:16 am)
I got dumped this weekend. I am good now. Thank you.
Your long winded post just put that situation in context.
LINK
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:59 pm to Clockwatcher68
quote:
quote:
Reject passivity
Accept responsibility
Expect better
Lead courageously.
...and get a Fedora ASAP. Amirite?!
You mean get a Trillby, and exclusively call it a Fedora, right?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:05 pm to UncleLester
quote:
And she's here now.
She needed her iPad back. She left it here earlier in the week.
No other words were exchanged.
Lord did you miss it. If you had just grabbed her, and started making out with her all the while pushing her toward the closest horizontal surface, you would have had the best sex with this chick in the entirety of this relationship.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:05 pm to GeauxxxTigers23
OP's got some splainin to do then. I'll do a 180 on girl if it comes out she talked to him before banging another guy. Not seeing why he would be at the barbecue though, or her ipad would still be at his house.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:07 pm to Azranod
Truth. Sex when you're angry with each other is the best sex ever.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:10 pm to 4LSU2
quote:
If he was there at 4am, you should've told her to eat a bowl of dicks and proceed to frick each and every one of her friends.
Quit being a little bitch and raise the backside of your pimp hand to make her flinch.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:14 pm to UncleLester
I just don't understand why you have wasted 4-5 months with this girl and haven't asked her to be your girlfriend or be exclusive with you.
Even if she has been hooking up with some other dude, she isn't doing anything wrong because you aren't exclusive.... yeah, it hurts... but if someone had been dating me for 5 months and didn't want a relationship, I would ABSOLUTELY be trying to hook up with other people.
Even if she has been hooking up with some other dude, she isn't doing anything wrong because you aren't exclusive.... yeah, it hurts... but if someone had been dating me for 5 months and didn't want a relationship, I would ABSOLUTELY be trying to hook up with other people.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:16 pm to lsuhunt555
You know what? frick that bitch.
Seriously. She blows off plans with you, rides some other guy's pole then tries to act like it never happened?
Yeah, so they're not exclusive. So the frick what? If it's no big deal, then it shouldn't be a big deal if the OP asks her about it.
Besides, if she were really interested in you, she would have dropped everything and anyone she was doing on Friday to do something with you.
If you're not with a girl who's interested in you, then go find one. Drop her. YOU, OP, are supposed to be in the driver's seat here.
Seriously. She blows off plans with you, rides some other guy's pole then tries to act like it never happened?
Yeah, so they're not exclusive. So the frick what? If it's no big deal, then it shouldn't be a big deal if the OP asks her about it.
Besides, if she were really interested in you, she would have dropped everything and anyone she was doing on Friday to do something with you.
If you're not with a girl who's interested in you, then go find one. Drop her. YOU, OP, are supposed to be in the driver's seat here.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:18 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
I'm not even sure what to say.
Maybe I'm just lucky but when not in a relationship I've always been able to have a few females that I just hungout with and we always just sorta knew the deal. And when I would end up exclusive with someone it's like they knew that we had to lay off of communicating and we wouldn't be doing the horizontal tango. I can count on one hand how many times in my life it has been mentioned by me or someone I was involved with about things being "exclusive or fwb". It's usually just known unless you are one of those a-hole guys that lead girls on to get in their drawz. People aren't stupid. It's pretty easy to figure that out.
All of this is my stance as well. I mean, sometimes you have the whole "I call you my girlfriend to people" sentence, but I've just never had much of an issue with being on different pages than someone.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:22 pm to SpqrTiger
quote:
YOU, OP, are supposed to be in the driver's seat here.
Hence the problem.
He's looking at her from the child's seat.
This post was edited on 6/30/14 at 1:24 pm
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:25 pm to JudgeHolden
quote:
1) Get a friend. A male friend. One who can tell you when you a effing up and chasing the wrong women.
2) Get some help. Seriously. You seem to recognize you have issues. This relationship shows that you probably do. Look, brother, we all got issues, and we all need help. Seriously. Go see a counselor and be honest.
3) Get real honest. Do you want sex without committment? Did you REALLY want this gal to say yes to being exclusive, or was it just illusory. You might be sacred of committing. Ain't no sin. A good half of the hard leg Rantards are. But be REAL honest with yourself.
4) Take a break from the P. Until you get your head straight, you need to stay clear of it. The P from BBQ/"Let's See How It Goes" Girl plainly clouded your good judgment for seven months. Don't wake up in ten years realizing you let it happen another five or ten times. Clear your head and sort it out.
5) Get out of the passivity rut. You are a scared kid inside. Admit it. Then day by day, step by step, eradicate that passive little voice inside. Practice being direct. Practice saying no. Really.
Two things;
Stop referring to the OT as the Rant. It makes the Rant look bad.
Aside for #5, thats terrible advice.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:26 pm to lsuhunt555
quote:
lsuhunt555
I look forward to seeing your 1-4.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:27 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
hey all are. It is how well you can read the manipulation, and reacting to it accordingly.
Is she:
trying to get the D?
trying to get a husband?
using you as a servant?
using you to elevate her self-worth?
...
The trick is understanding her desire, and acting accordingly if the two don't mesh.
This is quality advice. You will find many of 1, 3 and 4s. The real trick is finding the 2s and keeping them around.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:28 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
Except she didn't, in any possible interpretation.
She was a pussy about it, but anyone who has any experience with dating knows people generally suck at coming out and saying "not interested".. so they give excuses that seem like a glimmer of hope.
I'm not saying pussyfooting around it is a GOOD thing, but it's common and should have been clear to OP unless he has little-to-no dating history.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:35 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
'm not saying pussyfooting around it is a GOOD thing, but it's common and should have been clear to OP unless he has little-to-no dating history.
Well, he's in his 30's and single. There's a reason and it's not because he doesn't want to be tied down.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:35 pm to UncleLester
quote:
I was loyal and made her a top priority
Loyal? Well I guess that's appropriate, it sounds like she has you on a leash like a little puppy.
Now you're just trying to be manipulative with all of the passive aggressive comments and ignoring her.
This post was edited on 6/30/14 at 1:40 pm
Posted on 6/30/14 at 1:40 pm to Goldrush25
Why do people want an exclusive relationship? Why is that always the goal?
Doesn't that ultimately say that people want marriage, kids, a job, a house, retirement, and then death?
If so, why is partying and getting drunk glamorized?
Doesn't that ultimately say that people want marriage, kids, a job, a house, retirement, and then death?
If so, why is partying and getting drunk glamorized?
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